Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Day 1,038 - DC & Miss April, Part 2.

Me & Ellie at the Hard Rock Cafe in DC.  Proof we actually hung out together!

Ellie had to get to her conference early this morning, so I hit the gym again while she did the work thing.  I did the inclined treadmill for an hour, well, 63 minutes, and burned 619 calories.  I also held a full form plank for 1 minute, 27 seconds.  My body shaking the whole time.
 I had a full day ahead of me.  I wanted to go back to some of the memorials.  The Vietnam one was first on my list.
It was very moving.  All these panels, all those names.  Damn shame.

And the White House.
Taken from the top of the Double Decker bus.

I didn't get a whole ton of photos of the White House because the sky looked pretty dark and threatening.   And sure enough, it started pouring.  I mean, buckets & buckets of rain like you would not believe.  After that, I just wanted to call it a day.

I got caught in the rain, soaking wet, and I hopped it back to the hotel to change my clothes.

Tonight is my last night in DC, and I'm not really sure what the plan is.  Last night we went to the Hard Rock, where they were playing shitty ass pop music & absolutely no rock & roll.  Until we got there.  And the guy with the iPad came around and said he heard a little something about me wanting to hear some Foo Fighters.  So I requested "Best of You" as that is one of my favorite Foo songs ever.   I think my absolute favorite is the acoustic version to "Everlong."  The video to the real version is pretty freaking funny.

Anywho, not sure what is on the agenda for tonight, like I said.

Back home tomorrow.  I will be exhausted.

May or may not update later.

Good choices!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Day 1,037 - DC Sightseeing!

Ellie had to get up early to do her work thing that she's in town for.  So while she did her work/conference thing, I got up and hit the hotel gym.  I went on the inclined treadmill (I loved that some of my routine won't change all that much while I'm away, LOL) and got in a solid 52 minutes of sweat and hard work.  I also planked for 1 minute, 28 seconds.  And I burned 522 calories.

I seem to have crazy, Runaway Bride eyes here in this photo.  Don't ask me what that's about.  I got no clue.

Afterwards, I hit Pete's Diner about a mile away from the hotel for breakfast.  Breakfast was 2 scrambled eggs with spinach & onions, whole wheat toast, and 2 slices of turkey bacon.  I couldn't finish the eggs or the bacon, I was so full.  Breakfast was great.

Then it was time to sightsee.  I wanted to do the stereotypical touristy thing, so I went on one of those red Doubledecker bus tours.  I saw all the cool things, all the sites and attractions, but I decided to get off at the Lincoln Memorial.  This - along with the Vietnam War Memorial - was probably the one thing that I wanted most to see today.

The White House will be tomorrow.

I took some photos.

Tonight the plan is to do a moonlight tour of the all the memorials and then maybe dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe.  I need to get my shot glass, after all.  You know, for all the non-existent drinking I do.   I'm not really sure how or when I started collecting Hard Rock Cafe shot glasses.  But I know that anytime I've been in Europe or to a different state, if there's a Hard Rock Cafe, I'm there, purchasing my mandatory shot glass.  LOL.

I think I'll end it here for now and possibly update later or maybe even tomorrow.

And I promise Ellie & I will take more photos together!

Good choices!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Day 1,036 - DC & Miss April!

I'm in DC people!

And who guess I'm hanging out with & sharing a hotel room with?

The one & only Miss April herself - Ellie!!

I got off the bus at Union Station in DC and called her for directions to the hotel.  She's in town for a work conference, and since DC is literally a hop, skip, & a jump away from NY, she said, hey, wanna come down & hang out?  So I said hells yeah!

She met me in front of the hotel.  And when we saw each other, we gave each other big hugs.  I said, OMG, it's so great to meet you!

Her first words to me:  "Kelly!  Hi!  YOU'RE SO TINY!"

How incredibly sweet of her!

Miss April is awesome.  We talked, we hung out, we just acted like 2 old friends who met up in DC to chill.

We did some sightseeing.  We went The Capitol, we hit the Holocaust Museum, the Botanical Gardens, and the American Indian Museum.

The Holocaust Museum was something I've wanted to see for a while.  In fact, it was number one on my list of things to see.  It was haunting, it was moving, it was touching, and I'm really glad we went.

I was exhausted from my traveling today, and there was no way we were walking back to the hotel.  Not in this humidity.  We wanted to cab it back, but we didn't see any coming our way, which we both found really strange.  So Miss April asked me, how are we going to get a cab?  She looked at my chest,  and said, just flash a little!

I moved my hands to them, and I said,

"Well, guess I'll just have to use the tatas, right?"

2 seconds later, we were in the cab heading back to the hotel.  ;-)

Ok, it didn't happen like that per se, but close enough.  LOL.

I'm going to leave you with some photos of the day.  I'm too exhausted to post much else.

Good choices!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Day 1,035 - WI Results.

Last week's weight:  161 lbs.
This week's weight:  160.4 lbs.

I lost 0.6 lbs.  Eh.  At least it was a loss and not a gain, right?

I dashed from the meeting to the 10 AM Bikram session.  I struggled.  Flamboyant instructor is great, I really like him, but he moved really quickly through the postures during the first half of the class.  I sat out standing head to knee pose today.  I've learned my lesson.  Um, Adrienne?  I haven't scheduled a chiro appointment yet, but I'll see if I can do that this week.

I thought I would die during the first half of Bikram.  Tommy & asexual instructor do not move as quickly as this guy did today.  I actually had to take a knee during a triangle pose, and I've never done that before.  I sweated more than I did Thursday night, that's for damn sure.

I look barely alive here, don't I?  Hehe.

Wendy & I went to the Yankee game today.  After a 2 hour rain delay, the game against the Red Sawx started.

Umm, the tatas look pretty good in pink, don't they?  ;-)

The day was spent at beautiful new Yankee Stadium enjoying the game (even the Yankees lost), talking, hanging out with my bestie, and just enjoying being out.

Wrapping up since I have to be up & out crazy early.

Good choices!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Day 1,034 - Last Chance Workout & More About Bikram.

I didn't write about this last night and I should have.  But the focus last night was about how when you're body is screaming something specific at you, you better freaking listen.

Ok, fair enough.  Lesson learned the hard way.  I will sit out standing head to knee pose until I'm 100% right.  I promise!

What I also needed to mention was how uncomfortable I felt with what I was wearing last night.  The short shorts are cute, I love them, they're adorable, and yet.... my damn thunder thighs kept them riding up constantly during the 90 minute session.  I HATED THAT.  With a passion.

It didn't help that this tiny, skinny ass, little minnie placed her mat next to mine.  No fat anywhere on her, and she's probably been doing Bikram since forever.  I was wearing a brand new top that I hadn't washed yet, so IT kept riding up too.  Compound that with the pain in my right lower back.  Awesome.

Insecure much?  Yup.

And I know better than to compare myself to someone else.  Or at least, I should know better, at this point. I can't help it though.  During tree pose, when you have to lift your foot onto your hip, I noticed the rolls and folds in my thighs more than ever before.

And yeah - I know this is all in my head.  I know that nobody in the studio was looking at me.  Nobody but me.

Oh, did I mention I'm PMSing and how that is making everything just so much better. Uh huh.

Well, I'm done being all cheerful & happy go lucky.

I think I may be one of the last - if not the absolute last - girls to get into the whole Lululemon craze.  This athletic store specializes in yoga/running wear.  They size their clothes in 2-12, not XS-L like you would expect athletic clothes to run.  Oh, and they are insanely expensive.  Insanely.  There is no reason for me to go in there and spend $58 bucks on a pair of yoga shorts.  Or $65 on a sports tank.  Nope, no reason at all.

So what did I do after work today?  I stopped into the store that is on the way home.  And I got this.
See this whole outfit? Shorts & top are both a size 8.  A size mother-effing 8!!

This is what I need to remember when I feel that my thunder thighs & cellulite are on display.  I can fit into a size 8.  So take that, insane insecurity!  Go eff yourself.

I had planned on doing a Firm DVD, but sometimes I get bored.  So instead, I made up my own weight training workout.  I did a solid 32 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then 36 minutes of heavy weights.  My back felt fine.  Lunges, side lunges, dips, squats, plie squats, dead lifts hammer curls, delt flys, arm raises, military press, and French press, upright rows, and lat rows.  Dead lifts are my favorite move.  I love working the backs of my legs and feeling it in my hamstrings.  I just wished it showed on my legs more.  Damn freaking cellulite.

Anywho, I sweated my ass off, worked my ass off, and burned 562 calories.

Solid day.  Food was on point.  Tracked everything, & got in the requirements.

My scale has showed that I'm up.  Damn TOM, damn new birth control this month.  In the end, its all on me, so I'll accept whatever the number is.  No choice but to accept it.

I'm hoping the rain holds off tomorrow.  BFF & I are going to the Yankee game - and they're playing the Red Sawx!  It'll be my first time going to the new Yankee Stadium, and I am psyched!

Wrapping up now.  Good choices!

Day 1,033 - Listen to Your Body, Trust Your Body.

That damn back tweaking I did last Thursday night at Bikram during standing head to knee pose?

Yeah, it happened again.

Wanna know why?

Because I didn't listen to my body.  And I didn't trust my body enough to believe it when it was telling me the truth.   Which is this.

The truth is - I've come pretty far.  A long way, in fact.  But I'm not quite THERE just yet.  I will be, I'm just not there now.

And that is hard to accept.  Because I'd like to think (sometimes, however briefly) that I'm strong.

That I can lift heavy.

That I can go heavy with my lower body work.

So when my body tells me sometimes that it shouldn't be doing something, like a certain exercise because it might hurt me, I have to, I NEED TO LISTEN TO MY BODY.

My right lower back had been feeling better.  Honestly, it had.  That's not to say that it was completely better and completely pain free, because it wasn't.  It still isn't.  But it had been better.

So you would think that an intelligent girl like myself, knowing that her body has certain limitations when it comes to Bikram (like how my thighs and get stomach get in the way of EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO) would stop for a second, just for a second, and listen to what her body was telling her.

My body - and my brain, for that matter - told me to forego performing standing head to knee pose. That I should sit that one out because it would be colossally stupid to risk further injury.

But I did not listen to my body.  I didn't want to trust it.  I wanted to prove that I could attempt it without hurting myself.

Yup.  Dumb Kelly all around.

I felt the tightness, and just stopped.  I looked at myself in the mirror, then watched everyone else doing the posture.  Ugh.

The next time I attempt to do that damn pose, somebody - ANYBODY - knock me over the head with a book and tell me that it's ok to listen to my body.  Mkay?  Thanks.

I spoke to Tommy afterwards and he told me that the reason why that injury happened was because I was not contracting my abdominals the whole time.  A tight, contracted abdominal area will put less strain on the back during that posture.  Or just in general, I believe.  I think.  I'm not sure.  I don't know anything about that area other than the fact that my core sucks and it's pretty weak because I can't stand how it looks.  Anywho.

Moral of the story:  lesson learned the hard way.  I'm still going to go to Bikram, but I will be sitting out that posture entirely until my back is right again.
I have to confess that I felt a little angry with my body for disappointing me.  I feel like it has failed me.

But the truth is, I have failed my body.

By abusing it with food.

By refusing to listen to it when it was talking to me.

By not loving it enough to have gotten healthier and smaller a lot sooner than now.

I'm still a work in progress with that.  But I'm getting there.

Food intake was spot on today.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points, and got in the requirements.

Listen to your body, people.  And trust it.  It speaks truth.

Especially when you don't want to believe it.

Good choices!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Day 1,032 - Revving It Up.

I need to rev up my engine and my energy this week.  Next week, I'll be in DC for a few days, and when I'm out of my normal routine, I freak out.  Well, maybe not freak out, but I am definitely uncomfortable with the slightest change in my routine.  It can throw me off, and that is just not acceptable.

I need to have laser sharp focus, especially considering I'm traveling.  Hence, the reason why I feel the need to rev it up a bit.

I think we all have felt that at some point, right?  You know when you're not giving 110% of the effort it deserves (that YOU deserve) and you not only feel it, but you see it too.  Like on the scale.  Or you feel different, or the clothes get a little tighter than they were 2 weeks ago.

So with all that in mind, I needed to rev up my workout.  I always feel so great and so strong after I put in the effort with a super hardcore sweat.  I started with 32 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then I did The Firm Fat Blasting Cardio with Lisa Kay.  It had been a while since I had done that DVD, and I wanted to do some more cardio related stuff.  Because my lower right back is still feeling a little tight.  Not as bad as it was when I first tweaked it, but I am definitely more aware of my right side than I am my left side.  I added standing knee repeaters, 200 weighted side bends, 100 reverse crunches, 100 regular crunches, and a full form plank done earlier at work that I held for 1 minute, 19 seconds.  I burned 561 calories.
I need to work on my food intake.  It's not anything horrible, but it definitely has to be more spot on than it has been.  No es bueno, and I'm not happy about it.  Laser sharp focus, people.

What will you do to rev up your routines?  I wanna know.

Good choices!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Day 1,031 - Aches.

Wanna see what I wore to work today?  Of course you do.  It's been a while since I posted a work outfit pic.

Red goddess top from NY & Company, and black skirt from Banana Republic.  The top is a medium, and the skirt is a size 10.  I had to wear a cami underneath for modesty sake.  Otherwise the tatas would've been way too exposed at work, and that would NOT have been a good thing.  No, not at all.  Sorry, stuffy attorneys.  ;-)

The skirt felt a little tight around my damn, child bearing hips and thunder thighs, but what else is new. The banes of my existence.  Ugh.

So, back issue ache.  You kinda suck.

It had been feeling better.  Not as tight, and better.

And then I went to Bikram tonight.  Because it wasn't enough that it was already close to 100 degrees out today.  Yeah, I'm the psycho that does hot yoga on a day like today.


Oh, and then my right knee started acting up.  What is it with the right side of my body lately?  My right lower back, my right knee - what's next?  Holy hell, you'd think that losing weight would mean NOT feeling these damn aches. Shrug.

My glutes, thighs and hamstrings were still a little sore.  I love that feeling.  And all the stretching & pulling involved in Bikram will confound that feeling.  Love it.

The studio was sparsely populated today (big surprise, considering the weather) so it made it feel less warm than it was.  I worked hard, but I didn't feel like I was going to die, like I have in previous sessions.

Real sweat, real hard work.  Can't argue with  that.

Ichiro is a Yankee.  Hmm. I guess I'm ok with that.

Tracked everything, got in all of my requirements, and went over my points by 2.  I'm ok with that.

Gonna stalk some blogs, then off to bed.

Good choices!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Day 1,030 - Leg Punishment.

My back is feeling better, but I still don't want to chance a heavy upper body workout just yet.  So I'm going to concentrate on more cardio & more heavy legs.  Tomorrow night is Bikram, and I will see how I feel after that.  If my back feels ok after the entire session, then back to upper body.

But for now, I need to play it safe.

It's no secret that my body from my torso down is the bane of my existence.  My midsection and my thighs . . . I don't need to go into that again.  It feels like I'm being a broken record.

I don't work my core/midsection the way I do the rest of me.  And I know that needs to change.  This is why I've been doing planks most days, and sneaking in crunches & side bends at work.  I have a sneaking suspicion that my back tweaking has to do with my core not being as strong and not being as worked as the rest of me.   So that needs to change.

I really wanted to PUNISH my lower body tonight.  I'm just so sick of seeing my huge thunder thighs and sagging skin on my inner thighs - it makes me crazy.  It makes a little angry, too.  I also realize that no amount of weight training will ever make that go away.  It can ONLY be corrected with surgery, that's how dire that situation is.  Shrug.

Whatever, I still need to work my legs.   I need to preface that with my legs already being quite sore from last night's workout.  Glutes, thighs, & hamstrings felt it today especially because my sandals had a slight heel.  So I started with 26 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then I did The Firm Tight Buns & Killer Legs with Kelsie Daniels.  After the DVD ended, I worked out for an additional 10 minutes to up the calorie burn.  I added knee repeaters, squats, and side bends.  I sweated like a pig and burned 468 calories.
Please excuse the bright ass, neon orange sports bra.  I found it at my parents' house yesterday and realized that it might fit because it's a size Medium.  I won't be wearing it again since it fits a little big.  It didn't properly support during the cardio bursts of the DVD.

Solid day done.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points, and got in all the requirements.

I am determined to make this a good week.  I am determined to get the weight off that I gained.  That was just unacceptable.

Bed soon.

Good choices!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Day 1,029 - Bikini Pic, Part 2.

I woke up this morning determined to make it a good day.

Unfortunately, my lower right back felt a little too tight.  I did some simple, long stretches, and it felt better.  What I should've done is iced it, but that makes way too much sense.  Eh.

No heavy upper body for me for a while.  I'll stick to cardio, lower body & abs.

Speaking of which, that's exactly what I did this morning.  After a nice big mug of coffee.

I started with 21 minutes on the inclined treadmill, with no AC, and then I did The Firm Standing Legs.    I wanted to add a few extra sets of lower body work that are not in the DVD, so I did some side lunges, plie squats, deadlifts, and stiff deads, which apparently are different, but similar to each other.  Lots of squats, leg presses, dips and lunges.  Good Lord, my booty will be sore tomorrow.  I also included 200 reps of weighted side bends and 100 crunches, and 100 reverse crunches.  I burned 787 calories.

Completely drenched in sweat.  It was a warm morning, but not to the point where the AC needed to be turned on.  And I wanted to feel my hard work pouring down my face and body in the form of sweat.

After breakfast which consisted of 2 egg whites, 1 whole egg, 2 slices of Jennie-O turkey bacon on a Joseph's pita, my green monster smoothie & 50 ounces of water, I headed to the beach.

It was such a perfect day, much nicer & warmer than it was yesterday.  I wore the purple sequined bikini again.

Hey everyone.  Just hanging out on the beach.  With purple sequins.  I'm not sure you can even see my face in this picture.  The tatas kind of take everything over, don't they?  ;-)  Umm, yeah. Can't really do anything about that.

Solid day in the books.  Food was within my points, got in all of my requirements, and tracked everything.

RHONJ is on, & some shizz about to get real, yo.  Yes, I watch that show.  I am not ashamed.  Don't judge.  Some of you watch The Bachelorette!  So I don't wanna hear it.  Mkay?  ;-)

Good choices!

Day 1,028 - WI Results & Bikini Pic.

Last week's weight:  159.6 lbs.
This week's weight:  161 lbs.

I gained 1.4 lbs this week.  I expected it, I deserved it, and I know exactly why it happened.

My food choices have been less than stellar.  The workouts are NEVER a problem for me, it's the damn food.  It's my fault, I'm taking responsibility, and I am moving on.

I stayed for the entire meeting, I opted not to go to Bikram (no sexy instructor, so what was the point) and I talked to my leader, Helene, for a little bit.  Two years ago this weekend, my original leader, Carol, passed away from cancer.  Helene & Carol were close - Carol was such a sweet & gorgeous lady that everybody she met liked her a lot.  I don't think she was even 60 yet.  Gone way too soon.

Instead of dwelling on my gain for the whole day (and I did do plenty of dwelling, believe me) I decided to put on my purple sequined bikini and head to the beach.  The weather was kind of odd today, cloudy then sunny, then cloudy again, but it was warm enough, about 80 degrees.  So off I went, clinging to the consolation that a year ago, there was no way in HELL I'd ever wear a bikini to the beach.
The tatas are a little smushed, but hey - they are POPPING!  ;-)  After everything they've been through in the last 7 months alone, they're holding up pretty well, doncha think?

After a nice few hours sunning myself, I made a quick grocery store run, then back home to scrub down and clean my bathroom, then work out.  I did 51 minutes on the inclined treadmill.  I didn't feel like doing anything else, so I just banged out some cardio.  I burned 462 calories.
Sweated my ass off.  That is real sweat, people.  No joke.

Tracked everything, got in all of my requirements, and went over my points by 2.  I am ok with that.

Solid food day today.  So much better.

Heading to bed in a bit.

Good choices!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 1,027 - Last Chance Workout & Plaid Skirt.

That moment when you realize you just need to get your head out of your ass?

Yeah, that.

I mean seriously, I know better.  What the hell is wrong with me?

Adrienne - I do need tough love.  I may even need a bitch slap, too.  Yes, I probably got one coming.  So damn close & even a few pounds up at this point is unacceptable.

Because a few pounds can turn into 10.  Which can turn into 20.  And so on.

And I just can't let that crap happen.  I've come too far, fought & clawed my way through some tough things, and faced a lot of emotional stuff that has left me broken and vulnerable.

And yet, I still struggle.  With food.  Because I haven't accepted that food should just be - and is - nourishment and fuel for my body.  I haven't accepted that fact yet.

I should not look at it as comfort.  I know that my relationship with food needs to change, and every now and then, I think I get it, I think I finally have grasped it - and then poof!  Reality sets in, and I feel like I haven't learned a damn thing.

So that's where I'm at, but yesterday and today have been better.  I am still here, trying.

Still fighting.  Never giving up.  Because I know I am so much better than allowing food to defeat me.

I will take responsibility here.  I cannot do or say anything else other than it is my fault and I will squash this and nip this in the bud.  Now.  RIGHT NOW.

That's all there is to it.  I'm just done with this.

I need to lighten up the mood a little here.   Sexy instructor was leading the 6PM Bikram session tonight, and I packed my shorts (not the booty ones) but realized I didn't have any clean sports tanks.  So at lunch, I went over to TJ Maxx and started looking.  I picked up a sports tank, and this skirt.  Gray plaid skirt, size 10P, and it's kinda big around the waist!
Let all the Catholic school girl fantasies begin!   Yes, I went to Catholic school.  (I'm such a snob, aren't I, to think that ANYONE would fantasize about me.)  I know the lighting is horrible, and the plaid is dark, but can you tell it's plaid at all?  I really liked it - it's wool and just adorable.

Last night, during standing head to knee pose, I tweaked my right lower back.  I felt it again tonight during the same damn posture.  Argh!!  I couldn't do the second set because I didn't want to risk it.  I feel better now.  But I know I need to be careful about that.  And I have a feeling it's because my core is just not as strong as the rest of my body is.  My arms look nice, I've got strong calf muscles, but abs? Disaster area!

Anywho, I worked hard, and sweated my entire body off.  I'm not kidding.
See the new sports tank?  It's cute, but um, I was practically falling out of it.  It's a medium, it fits great, but the chest area....  Well, let's just say that MAYBE it would've been a good idea to try it on before I bought it.  Which I did not do.  Oh well.  Huge my bad.  Somehow, I don't think sexy instructor cared. If he noticed at all, that is.

Tomorrow is WI, and I briefly thought about skipping it, but I know I need to face the music.  So whether it's a gain of 1 pound or 3 - I'm still going to face it.  A gain sucks, but I can't shirk reality or my responsibility.  There you have it.

Solid day.  Tracked everything, got in all of the requirements, and stayed within my points.

Ok, no matter what happens tomorrow - I'm still going to do this damn thing.  BS has ended.  Actually, it ended yesterday.  But 2-3 days of solid eating cannot undo 5 days of bad food choices.  No amount of sweating & working out can undo that either.

Off to read blogs.

Heartfelt thoughts going out to the families of the victims in Colorado.

Good choices!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Day 1,026 - Static Standstill & Booty Shorts.

I'm all out of focus this week.  And that's my fault, not anyone else's.

I could say it was because I switched birth control this month and my body is all out of whack.  And if I read that on anyone else's blog, I would be the first one to call bullshit.

I could say that it's because I haven't been getting enough sleep.  And if I read that on anyone else's blog, I would say, then go to bed a little earlier.  Plan & prepare better.

I could go on & on, but my point is this - Isn't it easy to make all these excuses and NOT take responsibility for your own actions?

I will NEVER do that.  My focus is just not at 100% right now.

No one forces any food down your throat - you do that all on your own.

I am at a standstill right now.  I feel like I'm static. Or at an impasse or crossroads or whatever you want to call it.

And that is my fault.  I know what I need to do.  I've just been too damn lazy to do it this week.

The workouts aren't a problem, it's the food intake.

I need to be a little hard on myself.  Because this whole losing weight thingy can be hard at times.  Especially now.  NOW.  When I'm so damn close to my goal.

When I'm physically stronger & more fit than I ever have been in my adult life.  I mean, I can actually see some - not a lot, but some - cuts on my arms and shoulders.  Take a look.

Tiny, baby, bicep muscle.  Not quite a gun show, but getting there.  Doesn't compare to Linda Hamilton's arms in T2, or Tara's arms.  Girlfriend is pretty ripped.

See people?  I'm not ONLY just about my tatas!  I'm like an onion - lots of different layers.

Although, talking about my tatas is kinda fun. Right?  ;-)

So I'm taking the power back, because this standstill/struggling business is no fun. In fact, it sucks.  Plain & simple.

My first step in taking the power back - stepping way out of my comfort zone.  By wearing those yoga booty shorts I feel so self conscious in.
The inseam on these is 3'.  Super duper short - for me.  You have no idea how uncomfortable I felt in these.  Don't let the smile fool you.  I am insanely insecure inside.  And the anxiety I was feeling.  But I held my head high, & wore them to Bikram anyway.  With the sexy instructor.  Yup.

I had to put on a pair of long pants before I headed out.  The anxiety was just getting to me too much.  My thunder thighs are probably my least favorite body part.  Like ever.  A close second is my stomach, followed by my saddlebags.  You can't see that too much here because the lighting is pretty bad.  But I know it's there.

I got to the studio early, and when I had to take the pants off, I felt SOOO uncomfortable.  I felt like everybody was zeroing in on my thunder thighs.  Displaying major confidence right here.  I kept readjusting them, pulling them down so they would cover as much of my inner thighs as possible.  Which defeats the whole purpose of wearing them.  But if I had tinier thighs, they wouldn't have been riding up like they were tonight.  Grr.

Whatever, I worked hard and sweated my ass off.

That sweat is real people.  Blood, sweat & tears right there.

Hitting the sack early because I've been staying up way too late recently.

Let's do this freaking thing already.  Enough with the bullshit AND the excuses!  

I can't do this static standstill.   It's just not working for me.  It cramps my style.

Good choices!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Day 1,025 - Hooker Nails & Compliments.

It is amazing how when it rains, people forget how to drive.  They turn into such jackasses on the road.

Major thunderstorm with lightning here on Long Island today.  I ever tell you guys I am DEATHLY afraid of thunderstorms?  Yup.  The tough talking, tata-blessed chick from Long Island with the screw you attitude is afraid of thunderstorms.

Because in my head, they will come & get me.  (Don't ask me me who they are, I have no freaking idea.  Fear is not meant to be rational, people.)

Before the heavens opened up, I decided to get a much needed manicure.  Hooker French manicure, to be precise.  Apparently, there are some out there who believe that this classy style is more suitable for ladies of the night.

I am not of that opinion.

I walked into the nail place by work, and when I did, the girls did a double take.  They didn't recognize me.

After the compliments, which were really nice, one of the girls asked me:

"Is it because you have a boyfriend?"

Because that would be the ONLY reason to lose weight.  Right?

I won't lie and say it's a reason, but it's certainly not my primary reason.  I laughed it off & said, "Nope. No boyfriend."

Whatever.  No biggie.

Here are the hooker nails that aren't really hooker nails.  For the simple reason that they're about 4 inches too short.

Definitely way too short to meet with Drazil's approval.  But hey, those are my natural nails!

Today was my mother's appointment with her cardiologist.

Ever since Halloween weekend last year, she has been on Pradaxa.  It's been tough, having 2 older, sick parents.  I don't talk about it much, sometimes there's not a whole lot to say.  Sometimes, if I talk about it, it gets me upset, but that's life.

Had to take her after work, in the middle of that damn storm.  You know it took me about 25 minutes to drive 4 miles?  It was awesome, let me tell you.  It thrills me to no end to sit in traffic.

My focus this week has not been quite as laser sharp as it has been.  As it needs to be.  That needs to change.  Now. ASAP.

So I took the initiative and refocused my focus.  Because of my Mom's appointment, my workout ran late.  And I had to get in a quick, short workout or none at all.  Which of course was out of the question.  So I hopped on the inclined treadmill for 40 minutes.  With no AC.  Because I am insane.  But I burned 388 calories in the process, sweated my ass off, and got the workout in.

Can you see how much I'm sweating?  My sports bra was completely soaked through.  And I kinda loved it.

Must remember how I feel every single time I workout.  MUST remember!

Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and went over my points by one.  I am ok with this.

How are you guys doing this week?  On target or struggling?

If you're struggling, what do you do to bounce back?  Let me know.

Good choices!

Day 1,024 - Miss April!

Guess who I just got off the phone with?

Miss April!!

Ellie (her real name) stopped blogging a few months ago, which totally broke my heart.  She had her reasons, I respect that, but it still makes me sad that she doesn't blog anymore.

Anywho, she and I are meeting up the last week of July in DC, and I can't wait!!

More to come on that later.

I truly love the world of social media.  It's allowed me to "meet" some really great people that have become so important to me.

Drazil - the dormant shoe whore in me is slowly chiseling herself out.  Are you sufficiently proud?  Is your chest puffing out with pride? It should be.  :-)  There's hope for me yet!  Oh, and I promise to post pics of the new shoe acquisitions as I get them, mkay?

Only a completely insane person would go to Bikram when it's humid as f*ck and it's 97 degrees out.

I am one insane person.

Asexual instructor was leading the session tonight.  I made sure to go to the 6 PM session instead of the  8 PM session with the instructor I cannot stand.

It was hard, but I didn't feel like I was going to pass out or puke my guts out (always a good thing.)  I didn't even want to cry during tree or toe stand ( don't get me started on tree!) so I just did the best I could, worked hard, and sweated my ass off.

Sweaty pics don't lie.  I was soaked and drenched in my own funkiness.  Hmmm.  My smile looks a little goofy here.  Well, goofier than usual, thats for damn sure.

Little aside here (and I apologize in advance because I know this won't make any sense to any of you, so just stay with me here for a second) - person who feels I need to be protected:  I'm an adult, I can take care of myself.  And not for nothing, but I'll be the one to decide what I need to be protected from, mkay?  But thanks anyway  :-)

My food choices have not been stellar this week, but they have not been crap-tastic either.  Must buckle down and cut the bullshit already.  Enough is enough.  I've been working too hard to get to goal to involve any bullshit at this point.

Good choices!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 1,023 - Ruminations on Shoes.


It's Monday.  Which meant I already was not going to have a good day.  There is seriously not enough coffee in the world sometimes.  If I could free base or mainline coffee, I would.  Believe me.

I should know about coffee.  I'm Colombian.  We know a few things real well:  coffee, emeralds, & coke.  The latter I have never partaken (is that a word?) but Pablo made it famous, so there's that.

Don't ask me why I said that.  I am not making sense today.  Apparently, I did not ingest enough coffee.  So just bear with me here.

Anywho.  I was real busy at work today, but that did not stop my mind from wandering, as it is apt to do sometimes.  I started thinking about how I have all these great new SMALLER clothes, and I don't really have any cool shoes or sandals or eff me heels to go with them.  That last part was inserted for ha-has.  I don't really wear heels because they kill my feet and I am a klutz.  I would trip over my own two feet and break something really important.  Like the femur bone.  And I prefer to remain upright.  As in, on my own two feet and not splattered face down in agony because I tripped over the shoes.  Yeah, that would be me.  I'm not kidding.

Speaking of heels, I went to my Mom's today, and found these shoes that I've had forever and just never wear.

Steve Madden 4 inch platform heels.  I have no idea why I ever bought these or held onto them for as long as I did.  Is it wrong that I'm kinda glad I still have these?  I don't know where I will ever wear these, but whateva.

Heels make my legs look longer, and you can see my fierce, pretty awesome calf muscles when I walk in them.  I never do any isolated calf exercises like weighted calf pumps, but I guess the inclined treadmill works the crap out of them.  Good deal.

So yeah, I'm kinda on a shoe kick, excuse the pun.  I can't help it.  I'm a girl.

I decided to do my own leg heavy workout tonight.  Was gonna do a Firm DVD, but decided against it at the last minute.  I started with 24 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then I did 40 minutes of heavy legs.  Leg presses, lunges, dips, plie squats, regular squats, side lunges, and dead lifts.  16X, each circuit repeated 3 times  I thought I was gonna die, because I was already feeling it.  My hips, thighs glutes & hamstrings will NOT like me tomorrow.  Yeah, for sure, my lower body will be hating me.

My lower body needs to STFU.  Seriously.  I burned 608 calories.  Like a freaking bad ass.

Hells yeah.  Felt much better since today I was craving some bad things.  Like cake.  Not a good thing in my world at all.  Or really anyone else's world, for that matter.  The cravings need to STFU, too.

Solid day in the books, thank goodness.  Tracked everything, got in all the requirements, and stayed within my points.

I cooked up some panko crusted chicken breasts, and I roasted chicken drumsticks in the oven.  For the drumsticks, I made a dry rub of onion powder, garlic powder, cumin, poultry seasoning, sesame seeds & sea salt, with a little olive oil.  I took a bite out of one of them after I let them rest, and it tasted so good!

Going to mess around on the Twittah & do a lil blog reading.

Good choices!

Day 1,022 - Rest Day, Magic Mike. & Major NSV!!

Took a rest day today.  My body needed it.

So BFF dragged me to see the abomination that is Magic Mike.

Lots of great eye candy.  Lots of great new moves that have may or may not have given me some ideas.  (I'm keeping it PG on purpose!)  No plot line though.  Big surprise.

Two hours of my life that I will never get back.  NEVER.  EVER.

I hope BFF appreciates the sacrifices and the ends I will go to.  For her.  :-)

Afterwards, we went shoe shopping.  DSW is such a great place, in my opinion.  I just love that place.  I hadn't been there in forever.  She's in a wedding next month, and she hadn't found the shoes yet.  So we went there to look around.

I had worn this adorable, halter neck dress that I found on venus.com.

It's a size small.  A size mother-effing small!!!!  Major freaking NSV!!

Adorable as hell, right?  I love the pattern to this dress.

Boobs are still there and aint going anywhere.  :-)

It's a not a real post if I don't mention them at least once, right?  ;-)

BFF commented that I had shrunk a little more from the last time I had seen her.  2 weeks ago.  She's so cute.  She probably felt bad for dragging me out of bed on Sunday to see that.  Not exactly Citizen Kane that movie.

So she picked up shoes, and I did too.  I found these adorable silver, sparkly open back heels.  They are my version of eff me heels since I can't wear those 4 inch stilettos.  I will sprain an ankle, or fracture one of my femurs.  And I don't really feel like doing that.

They make my legs look longer, so that's a good thing.

More Cinderella duties today, but it was great hanging with Wendy.

As payback for Magic Mike, I am dragging her to see Ted.  A real movie.  About a talking teddy bear.  Because I have higher standards than male strippers.  :-)

True Blood is finally getting better.  FINALLY.

Off to get ready for work.

Good choices!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Day 1,021 - WI Results & Smaller Size!

Last week's weight:  159.6 lbs.
This week's weight:  159.6 lbs.

I stayed the same this week.  No change, no gain, no loss.

I deserved it.  Actually, I deserved a gain.  But I'll take it.  The way I ate Saturday night stayed took its toll on me and my body this week.  I know better at this point.

Kicking it into overdrive this week.

After WI, I stayed for part of the meeting, then headed to the 10 AM Bikram class.  Chris is much better than Joe, but not as great as Tommy.  I felt better than I did on Tuesday, and it helped that the studio was not so packed.

I worked my ass off, sweated my ass off, and I felt really great afterwards.
Bikram don't mess around.

On a lark, I fished out an old pair of shorts that I had gotten at Old Navy years ago, back in my college days.  They are a size 10.

And they fit!

Who wears short shorts?!  :-)

I had to run to Trader Joe's, and I noticed that a new Banana Republic Factory Store had opened up in the same plaza.  So, because it's been about 5 minutes since I bought anything new, I decided to head on in and take a little look see.  Just for shizz & giggles.

I saw a pair of army green cargo pants that I really liked.  In a size 8.  So I thought, well - why not?

They were skin tight, but they fit!  Over my hips, over my thunder thighs, over the booty, they zipped up, buttoned  & fit!
Side profile.  I still got my booty.  How's it looking to you?  Hehe.

I also got this black, pencil skirt in a size 10.  They didn't have it in an 8.  I'm such a clothes whore now.  I kinda love that.
Love, love.

Reesie - if you want to try The Firm DVDs, you MUST try the newer ones.  The Firm Express totally kicked my butt!  20 minutes long, insanely intense.  All Firm DVDs show modifications for beginners. Let me know if you try them.

Tracked everything, got in all the HDG, and went over my points by 3.  I'm ok with this.

Catching up on other blogs now & just relaxing. I did some Cinderella duties today, boo.

Good choices!