Friday, August 31, 2012

Day 1,069 - Last Chance Workout.

So this is how to spend a Friday night of a holiday weekend:  Working out and sweating my arse off.

I decided to bring it with the last chance workout tonight.  I really needed to, and I was soooo glad I did.

I decided to do two Firm Express DVD back to back today.  I did Cycle 2 - Cardio and then Sculpt with Rebekah.  I did the warm up to Cardio, hit the pause button, then went on the inclined treadmill for 33 minutes.  Ran for 16 of them.  Odd sounding number, I know, but what can I say.

Lindsey, I know you had warned me beforehand about Rebekah in these DVDs when I purchased this months ago, but man - I guess I had forgotten just how annoying she is!  Ugh, I almost couldn't stand it.  I'm being completely serious.  This just cemented even more my dislike of her.  Grr.  All those "Woooos!" "Scream if you gotta!" (my personal fave) and "Almost there!" make me want to throw things at the TV - at her.  So, yeah, no es bueno.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much because as you can see, I sweated a lot & worked hard!  I burned 637 calories.  Sweat is no lie!

Solid day in the books.   Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

WI is tomorrow and I'm feeling pretty confident about it.  Wish me luck!

Off to hit the sack.

Good choices!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Day 1,068 - More Bikram.

One of the things I'm thinking of doing when I reach goal and transition into maintenance mode will be how I entitle my blog posts.  I think I'll stop doing the whole "Day..." and just post regular titles.  It's something I've been toying with for a while, but not since I'm pretty close to goal, I've been thinking about it more.  I think the change would be nice.

Umm, so apparently, I need to try the Fage yogurt a half cup at a time.  Who knew?  I did not, apparently.  It's very good for you, but so darn filling.  I mean, it just sat in my stomach the entire day!  Fage eaters - why didn't you give me a heads up?  Coulda shot me a tweet or an email or something!  :-)  No worries, I'm good, learned my lesson for future Fage yogurt consummation.

I realized I didn't plank at all yesterday.  In fact, I did ZERO core work.  Nothing.  Nada.  Yup.  No es bueno.  My penance was to plank twice, which I did.  First one was held for 1 minute, 34 seconds.  Second was 1 minute, 27 seconds.  90 seconds each was the average, give or take.  100 full body crunches were also completed through gritted teeth.  Better than a repeat of yesterday.  Something is better than nothing.

Bikram was on the menu for tonight.  I do very much enjoy sexy instructor's sessions, what can I say?  I wore a pair of booty shorts that I haven't worn  before.  And you know what?  It was FINE.  I was fine.  I wasn't going to wear them, but someone convinced me to just wear "the eff out of them."  I mean, why not?  Right?  The only problem was they kept riding up.  But again, it was fine.  FINE.  So stop freaking out about them booty shorts, Kelly.  Only you are looking at yourself and thinking negative things about your thighs.  Cut it out, already.  Love, me.

I worked hard, worked my ass off, and sweated some of it off too.   Take a look.

Solid day.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

I thought about adding granola to my Greek yogurt, but I don't keep that stuff in the house.  Way too fattening, for my taste.  And I don't trust the "low fat" nonsense since those things are usually pumped full of chemicals to make up for the lack of fat/flavor.  I'm not a fan of almonds/walnuts/pecans on their own, so I'm kind of at a loss.  Eh, no worries about that.  I'll figure something out.  In half or quarter cup portions from now on, that's for sure.

Off to watch some news coverage, blog stalk, then hit the sack.

Thanks for all the suggestions for the Fage yogurt - much appreciated!  It's giving me ideas, and I'll keep you guys posted about what I do with it from now on.

Good choices!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day 1,067 - Long, Betterish Day.

I had to be up and at 'em earlier than usual for me today.  The maintenance guys were scheduled to be at my place by 8 to snake my bath tub and take a look at the water pressure in my kitchen faucet.  Only a trickle had been coming through, so it was a little annoying.

Tub snaked, the aeroator in the faucet (not sure what that is, exactly) was cleaned out, and things were good.  They complimented my kitchen, especially my granite countertops.  I explained that to them that I had to completely redo the entire kitchen because it was just awful.  This place was where the color yellow came to die - before I moved in.  LOL.  I'm not kidding either.

Work was. . . eh.  Work.  Just better off not even going there.  I was busy, so that was good.  So you, it was betterish today.  Long, but betterish.

So I tried the 2% Fage plain yogurt today with cinnamon, vanilla extract, honey & about a teaspoon of light brown sugar.  I know, I know! Added sugar is never a good thing. The vanilla extract and the honey just weren't cutting it.  I might sweeten it next time with chocolate syrup.  Please don't crucify me.  Definitely not clean eating, but I never claimed to be perfect.  The way I flavored this worked for me.  It won't work for other people.

My only "complaint" about this - if you even want to call it a complaint - is that the yogurt was VERY filling.  Man, I was not expecting that!  Not a bad thing really, if you think about it.  It's definitely something to eat to hold you over between meals.  With the right flavoring, of course.  I just can't eat it plain.  Ick.  How do people do that?  I can't.

Sexy instructor was leading the 5:30 Bikram session.  I was all over it.  :-)  The studio was not packed, which was great.  Anytime it's packed, I always sweat more.  Without fail.  And I always feel like I might pass out.  None of that feeling today.  Always a good thing.  I did sweat a lot and I worked my ass off.  See?

Yup, real sweat.

Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.  I was feeling kinda snacky though.  No worries, I kept that in check as I did NOT give in to the dang snacky feelings.

I am kinda tired from my earlier than usual day, so bed is in the cards for me pretty soon.

Say something nice to yourself about yourself before you go to bed tonight.  I'm going to.

Good choices!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Day 1,066 - Bad Day.

Ever have one of those days that starts out all WRONG from the very beginning?

Today was one of those days for me.  From the time I opened my eyes.  Literally.

I woke up late - overslept by a whopping 30 minutes.  That NEVER happens.  NEVER.  Barely had time to suck down coffee and get my meals prepped.

Then I couldn't find the dress I had intended to wear today.  So I wasted even more time looking for it before I realized I just wasn't going to find it.  I settled on a cutesy thing I've worn before.  No big deal.

But the best was when I walked into work.  Another program missing from my work machine.  Awesome.  Someone who I shouldn't talk about here and won't was messing around with it and just screwed it up even more.  Great.  Because I love running around to one of the 3 computers that actually have all the stuff I need to do anything and get anything accomplished.

Hmm.  I seem to be rays of sunshine today, right?  ;-)  Lots of wonderful memories were made today, no doubt.

At least it didn't rain like it did yesterday.  Saving grace.

Oh, and I needed to send out my mortgage payment. I had it all signed, sealed & stamped - and then I couldn't find it.  So I tore up my car looking for it, thinking maybe it had fallen out of my bag.  Nothing.  Went home, looked all over for it.   Nothing.  Got in to work this morning, noticed something hanging off the top shelf above my desk - and there it was.  Yup.  Apparently, I had brought it in to work with me, took it out of my bag to mail it, and promptly forgot all about it.  No worries, as soon as I saw it, I grabbed it and went straight to the mailbox right outside the office.

Lots of wonderful things, people.

Tommy was teaching the 8 PM Bikram session tonight, so I opted to go to that one instead of the 6 PM with Chris.  I like Chris a lot, he's a great instructor, but Tommy is my absolute favorite. :-)

I sweated like nobody's business.  For real.
Yup, that sweat is hard work.  It keeps running into my eyes, and I wipe away at it when I'm not supposed to.  Any Bikram instructor will tell you not to bother wiping away the sweat, because you're just going to keep sweating anyway.  You're supposed to be still in between postures, not wiping, not taking sips of water, not straightening out your mat or your towel.  It's a very disciplined style of yoga, but when that sweat gets into your eyes, it stings!  So I do try not to wipe, but sometimes you just can't help it.

Solid day in spite of all that nonsense.   I barely got my plank in today because I was totally going to skip it, but then Tony called me out on it on Twitter.  Crap.

Note to self:  If you're thinking of skipping your plank, for God's sake, don't tweet about it!

Plank time was 2 minutes, 3 seconds.  My body was shaking like a leaf towards the end.  I was holding on for dear life until I just couldn't anymore.  That's my third 2 minute plank!  If only the loose skin around my midsection would just go away.  Different issue, not even gonna go there right now.

Tracked everything, got in all the requirements, and stayed within my points.  I picked up some Fage yogurt today, different flavors.  I'm going to try the 2% plain one tomorrow and add a little bit of vanilla extract, cinnamon, and some honey so it won't taste like paper or cardboard. I hope I like it.  I'm not a big fan of plain yogurt because it's so..... well, tasteless.

Good choices!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Day 1,065 - Monday Blahs.

I wore this adorable gray plaid skirt to work today that I scored at TJ Maxx, size 10P.  I paired it with a sleeveless white button down from Victoria's Secret.  My twist on the Catholic school girl uniform, if you will.  ;-)

It's kinda dark, so I'm not sure if you can make out the gray plaid or not.  It had been a while since I had posted a work outfit pic.  Figured I was due.

At the end of the day, I started feeling light headed.  I'm not sure what that was about.  When I got home, I just wanted to lay on the couch.  The last thing I wanted to do was work out.  Definitely Monday blahs blahs.   I had a feeling it might have been to not eating enough today.  I'm still trying to stay under my daily Points allowance since it worked so well for me last week.  Umm, might be time to rethink this.  I felt better after the Gatorade/water/PB&J combo.

I refueled real quick a small spoonful of Trader Joe's natural crunchy peanut butter and a little bit of strawberry perserves.  Gulped a little bit of Gatorade for some electrolytes and more water, and changed.  But I wasn't really feeling it.  So I didn't put my normal effort into my workout.  I didn't bring it at all today.  I did The Firm Express Cycle 2 Cardio + Sculpt with Rebekah today.  I can't stand her.  With all her "woos!" and her "Now, listen!"  I feel like telling her to listen to me and cut it out already.  I mean, seriously.  I added an extra 20 minutes of my own thing.  Plyo moves, weighted squats, lunges, dips, jogging in place, overhead press, hammer curls, side lunges and upright rows.  I burned 262 calories.

Core work today consisted of 100 full body crunches, 100 side bends, and a plank time of 1 minute 40 seconds.  My midsection was sore this morning when I woke up.  I'm ok with that.  I really like that feeling, actually.

Solid day, in spite of the lightheadness and mediocre workout.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

Going to bed early tonight after some blog stalking.

Bikram the next 3 days in a row with sexy instructor.  ;-)

Good choices!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Day 1,064 - Bikram Testimonial.

Some of you have been asking & wondering about my goal weight.  So here it is.

137 lbs.  It's in the higher end of my healthy weight range, and I figure it will allow for a little flexibility.  Not much since I know I'm always going to have to be super diligent about food intake for the rest of my life, but there is about a 5 lb leeway, give or take.  That is what I am giving myself.  No more than that.

I went to the 10 AM Bikram session w/sexy instructor.  Note to self: Please eat a little something before going to a morning Bikram session, mkay.  I felt like I was going to faint during camel pose.  Now that pose is pretty overwhelming as it is, but on an empty stomach, umm...  Well, like I said, I almost fainted.  So, no es bueno.

During one of the postures in the floor series, Tommy walked over to this lady and asked her how much weight she's lost.  She said 78 lbs & everybody was like, wow.  That is pretty impressive, right?  Then he walked over to me and asked me the same question.  I told him "115 lbs", and everyone collectively gasped.  Tommy was like, "Damn, that is pretty sick!"  The girl next to me looked over at me (we were in savasana) and she gave me this floored look.  I was looking up at the ceiling since Tommy had walked away already.

That felt kinda nice, I have to admit.  :-)

I worked hard, sweated my ass off, and felt great afterwards.  What else is new.
After the session, I was coming out of the locker room, and Tommy stopped me.  He told me that one of the other instructors was designing a new website for the studio and they want to start including testimonials.  He asked me if I would be willing to write one up, and I said yes, of course.  He said it would be so cool if all my weight loss could be attributed to Bikram, but he knew that only a portion of it could be.  LOL. I have lost about 50 lbs (I think) since I started Bikram in February. So that's still a large chunk of it.

I went to the beach for a bit before it started to get cloudy again.  Afterwards, I hit the mall to feed my Victoria's Secret addiction.  I think I made Jersey girl Liz proud by purchasing a blue leopard print bra/panty set.  Love it!  Also got some Pink stuff too.

Solid day in the books.  Tracked everything, got in all the requirements, and stayed within my points.

House/Cinderella duties done, after a little chillaxing at the beach.  3 loads of laundry & my bathroom has been scrubbed clean.

Wrapping up then blog stalking.

Good choices!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Day 1,063 - WI Results.

Last week's weight:  158 lbs.
This week's weight:  155.8 lbs.

I lost 2.2 lbs this week!   Happy Kelly.

See what I can do when I pull my head out of my ass?  Who knew that restricting Points/calories & upping the workouts could yield such results, right? (That was dry sarcasm, by the way.)

So I felt and still feel great restricting certain things.  I've cut out my hot cereal at work for breakfast.  I'm trying to eat just protein at breakfast now, hard boiled egg with some fresh fruit (like a peach, apple, or pear) and a light Babybele cheese.  Which I've found that I can keep in the house now without abusing it.  I'm thinking of adding a Greek yogurt to that, just not sure which brand yet.

Anywho, so the plan was for me to get home, workout, eat & then hit the beach.  The beach did not happen because while it was hot out (85 degrees), it didn't stay sunny.  It got cloudy up in Long Island and pretty much stayed that way for the rest of the day.

I started out with The Firm Express Sculpt with Emily Welsh.  Whew, forgot how hard that one was.  Then I hit the inclined treadmill for 15 minutes, just to keep the workout going.  But I got bored with that pretty quickly, so I jumped off, and just did my own thing for 30 minutes.  Lots of strength and more plyos.  I actually did some full body crunches on my own!  Shocking, isn't it?  And I burned 517 calories.
Solid day in the books.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

Feels good to be on point & on plan.

Mom's coming over tomorrow with the Yorkies.  Hope Luke doesn't lift up his leg in my house and ruin my wood floors.  ;-)

Maybe beach tomorrow for a bit after Mom's visit.  We'll see.

Good choices!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Day 1,062 - Last Chance Workout.

I am a slave to the scale.  Still.  I am a daily weigher.  I can't help it.

Technically, I know I could help it, but I have no idea how to go about doing that.  Being a slave to the scale kinda sucks.  Especially when you see it go up.

This morning, the scale said I was down.  Down from Saturday's WI, which meant I had lost all the junk weight from the Chinese debacle, and then some.  1.5 lbs., as a matter of fact.  So I was happy about that.

Isn't that sad?  To be so happy & thrilled when the scale goes down that it will literally affect your mood for the day.  Is that bad?  It's not good.

I just did a whole Sportscenter shtick right there that Stan & Neil do.  If they're not hosting the morning Sportscenter, there's no reason to watch.  In my humble opinion.  ;-)

Core work was ok, kinda sublime actually.  Did a plank for 1 minute, 22 seconds, got in 125 full body crunches, and 100 non-weighted side bends.  At least it was something.

I killed it with my last chance workout tonight.  I mean, I brought the heat.  I was not messing around tonight.  Nope, not me.  I decided to take a page out of Liz's book and do 2 Firm Express DVDs back to back - Cycle 1 Cardio & Cardio + Sculpt with Emily Welsh.  Umm, I forgot how hard these were.  Sheesh, I was sweating just after the warm up. I wanted to extend the workout to an hour, so after the DVDs were done, I hopped on the inclined treadmill for an additional 35 minutes.  In this heat, with no AC.  Because I am freaking crazy.  I burned 647 calories.

My new Nike sports bra was soaked to the core in my own sweaty funkiness.  You can't see that, but you can see the sweat poring down my neck and chest.

Solid day done.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed under my points.  This has been working for me this week, so I think I'll continue doing that next week too and see how it goes.  I will be careful of course to eat ONLY when I'm hungry.

WI is tomorrow, and I am feeling really confident about it.  :-)

I am off to bed soon.

Good choices!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Day 1,061 - Thursday & Bikram.

Sometimes I can't come up with snazzy titles for blog posts.

Today is one of them days, mkay.  Just not feeling all snazzy & creative, I guess.  I'll have more tomorrow.  When it's Friday and therefore a better day automatically.

Speaking of which, totally thought today was Wednesday for a minute & tweeted that out.  So guess who looks like the maroon?  This girl.  And I had plenty of coffee today too!  Huge my bad, as my followers questioned me about that.  Umm yeah - I had a moment there.  Leave me alone.  ;-)  Although it was kinda funny, now that I think about it.

Last night, around 10:20, my eyes were drooping and I couldn't keep them open.  I haven't been to bed before 11 in a while.  I normally like to be in bed during the work week around 11, as my body likes to wake up around 5:30 or 6 for some God forsaken reason.  Doesn't it realize I don't get out of bed til 7AM? Sheesh.

So did ya'll like my almost wardrobe malfunction?  Pretty awesomily funny, right.  But do you guys see my point?  With all that money manufacturers charge, you'd think they'd add just a bit more material to the darn clothes on top. Oh wells.

In ab work news, (because you know I had to sneak it in at work somehow) I did another 2 minute plus plank today - 2 minutes, 3 seconds to be exact.  And yeah, my body was shaking after about 30 seconds.  Them things be hard to do, but they gots to get done!  Also got in 100 full body crunches, 200 non-weighted side bends (100 on each side, like you couldn't figure that out on your own) and 100 mountain climbers - barefoot!  I don't recommend doing that kiddos.  I was wearing sandals though, so it was either break the sandals or go barefoot.

Tommy was leading the 8PM Bikram session tonight, and since I've been feeling like a warrior this week, I went.  Oh, and it helps that Tommy is super hot w/a fine body.  Yeah, there's that.

No slips this time.  I made sure to pay extra attention and be super aware of the ladies, as they tend to have a mind of their own sometimes.

Bikram was hard for me tonight.  The studio was packed, it felt like it was about 300 degrees in there, and it was just difficult.  More difficult than usual.  I worked hard and sweated like a beast.

I sweated so much tonight that some of it went into my right ear, and now it feels clogged.  TMI?  That's not so bad, right?  I've heard and read about worse.  Shrug.

Solid day.  Tracked everything, got in all the requirements, and stayed under my Points allowance.  I'm ok with that.  When I was hungry, I ate healthy, nutritious, wholesome, REAL food.

This week is gonna end well, I can just feel it.  I took the week back, and it felt great & empowering!

Good choices!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Day 1,060 - Almost Wardrobe Malfunction.

Tommy was teaching the 5:30 Bikram session today, which meant that I had to change at work & head over to the studio.  Luckily, the studio is only about a 10 minute drive from work.

My workout gear I bought just a few months ago is too big on me now, so I've been scouring clearances & sales online.  I scored some great deals on Champion black spandex shorts & sports bras on Amazon, & I bought a few sports tanks & sports bras on clearance from the Nike website.

I'm a Nike & Champion girl, for some reason.  I don't know why that is.

Anywho, so one of the Nike sports tanks is awesome - strappy & white which matches perfectly with the Champion shorts that are black with a white stripe around the waist.  Both in a size Medium.  :-)

I like to color coordinate, what can I say?

Know what else I have to say?  I believe clothes manufacturers do not take into account with ladies with my.... um, "ladies."  While the tank is cute & I love it, it doesn't cover me up the way it should.

Hence, an almost wardrobe malfunction tonight.   Almost, because I caught it in time.

It happened during Standing Separate Leg Stretch, when you're swan diving down to put your forehead to the floor.  When we were coming out of it, I noticed one of the ladies trying to slip out for a little peek.  No es bueno, but I saw & caught it in the nick of time.

Wonder if Tommy happened to catch it?  ;-)

I did sweat bullets, and I felt great afterwards.  Like a freaking warrior!  Is that how you feel after Bikram, Carla?  :-)

I mean, seriously?  Can you see my dilemma from this pic?  Clothes manufacturers charge all this mula for their products - especially workout gear - and they can't sew on an extra centimeter of material?  Sheesh.

Any of you lovelies ever experience a wardrobe malfunction with workout gear?  I know I can't be the only one.  Right?

Managed to get in 100 mountain climbers, 100 full body crunches, and a plank for 1 minute, 41 seconds.  In the office, so shh!

Cutting back on my points this week has helped.  I am not starving, I am not always hungry, and it is working to get that damn Chinese takeout off.  Ugh, never again.  The heck was I thinking anyway?  SMH.  Anywho, tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed under my points.  All good up in here.

I want to hear about any wardrobe malfunctions, workout related or not - so, dish please.  A little humor every now & then when we all have so much BS to deal with would be quite welcome.

Good choices!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Day 1,059 - Back to Bikram.

I've avoided Bikram since last Weds.  Last Thursday I had my stuff all packed and ready and then I just decided not to go.  That should've been a red flag right there.

Chris taught the session today, and I have to say that it felt soo good to drag my arse back to Bikram.  I'm serious.  I don't know why I'm talking about it as if I hadn't done it in a year, but I guess in my mind, that's what it felt like.  Strange, I know, but these are the mechanics of my head, what can I say?  ;-)

I feel like I sweated today like I haven't sweated in a long time.  It felt freaking awesome.  I felt freaking awesome after the session was done.

Bikram was exactly what I needed tonight.  It felt so good to sweat out the toxins and that horrible Chinese that wasn't even that good that I didn't need.

Held a plank today for 1 minute, 33 seconds, and I also did 100 regular crunches, and 50 full body crunches.  I am really trying to be consistent in working my abs on a regular basis.  It's hard since I hate that particular section of my body intensely.  Grr.

This week I am making an effort to drink even more water than I already do and restrict my points so that I fall short of hitting my target by about 3-5.  I'm ok with that.  I really need to show a loss this week and with my total eff up on Sunday, of course that plan is in jeopardy.  So right now, I am in super, laser-sharp focus mode.

I must tell myself that I am stronger now than I was a year ago.

I am stronger than the girl in the before photo.  Of that, I am certain.

Remember to tell yourselves that.  Every healthy decision leads to another and another.  We are worth every single healthy decision we choose to make.   I am worth every single healthy decision I choose to make for myself.

Good choices!

Solid day.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points and got in the requirements.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Day 1,058 - New NSV!

I let some negative thoughts creep into my head yesterday.  It sucked, it really did.  I didn't eat the whole day save for 2 scrambled eggs and a pear around 11:30 yesterday morning.  I didn't get back from Westchester until almost 7.  I was famished and I had Chinese.  Not the best choice, not my best moment.  It wasn't even good, it was just something to ingest so I wouldn't pass out from not eating anything.  Ugh.  I'm paying for it now.  The scale is up.  Full disclosure.

So I'm taking the power back.  I am pushing myself.   Right on to a new NSV.

Today, I held my first ever 2 minute plank.  Two minutes, 3 seconds, to be exact.  Let me tell you guys, I wanted to call it quits after about 45 seconds.  My body was shaking, but I kept pushing.

It's not ok that I caved in to old, awful habits.  It really isn't.  We all know that.  Otherwise, we wouldn't feel so terrible about it afterwards, right.  We know it's wrong.  I know it's wrong.  And nothing good can ever come from reverting back to that.

But I also know that it's up to me - and me alone - to snap out of it STAT.  Hence me pushing the time on that plank.

And I needed to bring it with my workout tonight.  I completed a total of 45 minutes on the inclined treadmill, running 15 minutes of it.  I felt something in my right knee, otherwise I would've gone longer.  Then I fished out a Firm DVD that I hadn't done in forever - Calorie Explosion with Alison Davis.  This DVD brings the intensity.  It is no joke.  I burned 828 calories.  Sweated my ass off.

That sweat is no freaking joke.

Better, solid day.  Tracked everything, stayed with my points, and got in all the requirements.

I am taking the power back.  No other way.

Good choices!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Day 1,057 - Drive By Post.


I had Sonia all day today.  Love my niece to death, she is such a joy to have around and brings such joy to all of us.

Mom & I took her to the beach where she swam like a fish and had lots of fun.

Running after a 3 and 1/2 year old all day gets the heart pumping and the blood flowing.  Workout done for the day.  :-)

Sorry for the drive by post.  And for no photos of my little mini-me.

A lady at the beach thought I was her mommy.  She takes after our side of the family, which means she's gorgeous.  And yeah, I can say that with a straight face and I stand behind every single word.

I am exhausted.  It was a perfect day.

More tomorrow.

Good choices!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Day 1,056 - WI Results.

Last week's weight:  158 lbs.
This week's weight:  158 lbs.

I am pissed. And I know exactly what is happening.

It's not that I've reached a "plateau."  It's not that my body is starting to "stabilize."  It's not that I'm starting to "gain muscle," although I have seen some definition in my shoulders, back & arms.  Maybe even my quads, like I talked about yesterday.   Which reminds me, I really want to take photos of my back, shoulders & arms & post them, but not sure how to do the naked back photo by myself.  Hmm.

Nope, it's none of those things.

I have become too relaxed.  Too lenient.  Too riding on my coattails, so to speak.  And that is not sitting well with me.

Because it's hard to admit that the fault is my own and no one else's.

I'm struggling to regain my focus. It had been pretty laser sharp.  So it's quite a bitter pill to swallow.

I was really aggravated about it this morning, so I hit the treadmill to work it out.  I got in 55 heart pumping minutes and sweated bullets.  I burned 504 calories.  See?

My bright neon, hot pink sports bra was soaked!

Afterwards, I headed to New Jersey to meet up with Liz!  Love that chick.  As usual, I was running late & the damn traffic getting into Jersey didn't help either.  We met up at Garden State Plaza, grabbed a bite, chatted & did a little shoppy shoppy.  We went into Victoria's Secret.  Where I may have purchased some things.

And um, I MAY have talked her into getting some things, too.  Things that she proly didn't need.   Things that involved the color pink and leopard print.  And that's all I'm gonna say about that.  ;-)

When I got home, I was starving.  I had defrosted a small piece of filet mignon that I purchased last week.  I cooked that up in a pan with chopped red onion & portabello mushrooms, and laid that on top of the meat.  Trader Joe's has seasoned fresh brussel sprouts that I threw into my toaster oven to get some more veggies in.  A salad with a little olive oil and I was set.  Great dinner and healthy to boot.


Just because I can now walk into any store and be able to fit into things does not mean that I am at goal yet.  I am not.  I am still 21 pounds away from that.

Here's to kicking some major freaking ass this week and from now on, b*tches!

Who's coming with me!?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Day 1,055 - Last Chance Workout.

I walk into work today to discover that one of the attorneys had needlessly installed something on my computer that he shouldn't have.  Which meant that a program I use for work all the time was completely wiped from the hard drive.  Which resulted in said attorney AND the IT guy trying futilely to reinstall it.

That did not happen.  This particular program is very important because I check it and use it constantly.  I mean, all the time.

So while all this was going on (I swear it was like watching an accident in slow motion) I headed to the basement to do some "filing."  Full disclaimer:  I did actually file, as I had some things that needed to not be at my desk.  But here's my core routine for the work day.  (I do actually work, hand to God!)

A full form plank held for 1 minute, 24 seconds, 100 full body crunches, 100 side bends & 75 recline curls.

I am feeling sore in my midsection already, and I have to grudgingly confess that it feels kinda good. :-)

I decided to do heavy full body strength today.  I started with 25 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then I did The Firm Super Sculpt.  Old school DVD, but extremely effective.  I wanted to get my calorie burn up a little, so I added some extra moves.  Military press, squats, side lunges, posterior delt flys, delt flys, and deadlifts.  Sets of 12 or 16 if I didn't feel like my arms would fall off.  LOL.  I burned 558 calories and sweated my arse off.  Seriously, I was tasting my own sweat, not kidding.

So I got my Victoria's Secret order today in  the mail.  Good news?  The size SMALL button down blouse I ordered actually FIT!!  It's a tad snug, not skin tight, but it fit!  I think I might be about 5-7 pounds away from it fitting me comfortably, you know.  I am so freaking excited about that.  How's that for a NSV??? 

I don't think I've ever fit into a size small my entire life.  

Solid day.  Tracked everything, got in all the requirements and stayed within my points.  

I'm feeling pretty good about WI tomorrow.  Not sure how much of a loss I will see, but I do expect to see one.  I will accept whatever number it reflects.

These little celebrations here and there are important to recognize.  I mean, damn.  Me - a size small?  ME???

Wow.  Just wow.

Wrapping up now, then blawg stalking, then Red Sawx/Yankee game.

Good choices!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Day 1,054 - So, Core Work is Important. (Duh.)

If you know anything at all about me, you know how much I loathe doing any core work of any kind.


Because I can't stand the loose skin on my midsection.  Broken record here, sorry!

But here's the thing.  And this is kinda hard for me to admit.  Mkay?

(Gritted teeth.)  I kinda wish I had started doing it a long time ago. Cue bile forming in my mouth.

Ugh, that was so awful for me to write.  Leaves a VERY bitter taste in my mouth, or on my fingers as I typed it out, whichever.

Here is why I'm saying (READ: FORCING MYSELF TO ADMIT) this: because I've been seeing some slight, ever so tiny, definition in my body.  Well, certain parts of my body.  Like my arms and my upper back, for some example.  Some days, if I suck in my breath and my gut enough, I can see my rib cage.  Sort of.  Tiny bit more muscular and toned. TINY.  I do like to go heavy with those weights, you know.  ;-)

Speaking of which, I am thinking of upping the weights again, which means going to Modell's or Dick's to get a pair of 20s.  That kinda scares the bejesus out of me, because man, that sounds heavy, yo!  But I think it's time to up the ante somewhat.  This will help for my lower body also when I do squats, lunges and dips.

I can see some definition in my arms, and I'm only just starting to see some in my quads.  I have to be looking at myself at a certain angle in the mirror to see it in my outer thighs and my hamstrings.  I do not see any definition in my inner thighs, unfortunately.  Damn loose skin.

But here's my point.  I've been doing heavy weight work since January.  If I had just concentrated a little more on my core, MAYBE - huge maybe - it would look a little different now.

I'll never know now.  I should've done something, even if it was like 50 crunches a day or every other day.  Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

So this explains the reason why I've been participating in that #PlankADay trend on Twitter.  It's a quick way to work the entire abdominal section without doing crunches or what have you.  Today, I held the full form plank for 1 minute, 33 seconds.  Trying to build up to that elusive 2 minute plank.

I've also been sneaking in crunches at work, as you know.  Today, I've managed to sneak in 200 total side bends (100 on each oblique) sets of knee repeaters, and 100 crunches.  This morning before work, I busted out 100 full body crunches.  Knee repeaters are a good standing exercise, and I kinda don't mind them.  They work your lower abs if I'm not mistaken.

My point is who knows how much different the loose skin in that area would be.  Not that I think that doing crunches and planks will shrink or tighten the loose skin because I'm convinced that it won't at all, but at the very least, my abs would be stronger.  And that's not a bad thing at all.  So hopefully in 6 months, I'll see somewhat of a difference.

I realize that drinking water and moisturizing your skin may help in this situation.  I don't think you guys realize just how much water I drink everyday.  I get in a gallon - sometimes more - of water EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And every time I get out of the shower, after towel drying, it's head to toe in lotion.  Most days I shower twice a day because because I can't leave the house until I've showered in the morning, and I normally work out in the evening.    So I do all those things, know about those things, have been doing those things since high school, and don't really see that much of a difference.   Shrug.

Bikram was on the menu for tonight, but I changed my mind at the last minute.  I had my yoga stuff packed and everything, but doing Bikram 3 days in a row suddenly became very unappealing to me.  So I did a short but effective workout at home tonight.  I started with 27 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then 15 minutes of heavy strength.  Lunges, dips, squats, side lunges, military press, hammer curls, upright rows, lat rows, and delt flys.  I burned 310 calories.

Solid day in the books, even though I felt a little snacky.  No, I did not give in to those cravings.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

Oh, and um, please to excuse the frizzy, crazy cat lady hair again.  All that sweat apparently worked its way straight through all the hair product I pump into my curls everyday to avoid said frizz.  :-)

Work your abs no matter where you are in your weight loss.  Even if you have to start small.

You'll be glad you did.  Take it from me.

Good choices!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Day 1,053 - Busted!

So, I been busted.  Big time.  Huge.

This morning, one of my coworkers & I were in the empty office of the attorney who only comes in twice a week.  And I said to her, "You know, I come in here sometimes to do planks and crunches."

Know what she said to me?  Ready for this?

"I know!  I read your blog at work sometimes when I'm bored!"


So we both start cracking up, it was so freaking funny!

She done busted me!

I mean, talk about blowing up my spot!  That just ain't right.

That was a nice way to start the work day.  I started my actual day by getting up at a ridiculously early-for-me hour and busting out 100 crunches before I got ready and dressed for work.

And then when I got to work, I went into said empty office to sneak in my plank of the day.  Held it for 1 minute and 38 seconds.  Trying to build up to the 2 minute plank, but it's hard.  I mean, my forearms were shaking.  As was the rest of my body.  Full form planks are something else, let me tell ya.

Who is this girl?  Perhaps little elves sprinkled magic fairy dust on me as I slept?  Maybe my coffee was enhanced with some pharmaceutical flavor?  Maybe it was the 4 cups of coffee I had?  ;-)

I am focusing (read: FORCING) the positivity to ebb and work its way through me.   It feels, um..... weird a little.  In that it's weird for me, and in that it should just come naturally.  Don't ya think?  Well, I suppose there are worse things than faking it til I make it.  Much worse.

Sexy instructor was leading the 5:30 Bikram session, which was perfect.  Get the workout started right after work, which means I get to finish it & get it out of the way sooner.  It was a great session, I worked hard, and I sweated my ass off.

Lots of endorphins were made but none were harmed during the making of this sweaty pic.  ;-)

Solid day.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points, and got in all the requirements.

This is shaping up to be a great week so far.  I'm expecting a nice loss on Saturday.

Need to hit the hay soon.

Good choices!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Day 1,052 - Bikram!

Funks only last as long as we allow them to last.

At least, that is what I am telling myself today.

Today, just for today, I am going to make an effort to get rid of this no-good feeling.   No me gusta, and it does me absolutely no good at all.

So today, I'm changing that.  Tomorrow is another story.

Yesterday, I just felt lonely.  And I once again felt so frustrated about my loose skin on my midsection and thighs.  Apparently, this is an ongoing feeling that I manage to shut out most days.

It's kinda strange - and just a bit freaky - how those damn funks can hit you out of the blue.  I'm not really sure why I felt like wallowing yesterday, I just know that I did.  And I need to cut it out.  Because compared to a lot of other people, I've got it pretty good.  I do know that its ok to feel what I feel, but at some point, I need to get over it.  Or do something about it.

So someone please remind me of that the next time I start down this wallowing path.  It's so unattractive.  And so not worth it.

This is one of the many reasons why I love Bikram.  It really helps me to clear my mind and focus on myself for 90 minutes.  The sweat helps too, and I do love that.  Does it help that sexy instructor was leading the 8PM session tonight?  You bet!

It also helped that I dumped a huge Hefty trash bag full of fat clothes today.  Right before I got to Bikram.  Yup, that helped a WHOLE lot! I mean, why was I holding on to them for?  In case, on the off chance, I gain the weight back?  Well, the whole point of losing weight is that you try your damndest to be diligent and NOT gain it back.  Right?  So to the Goodwill bin they went and there they are as we speak.  Take that, fat clothes!

And I also decided to wear the booty shorts tonight.  I don't wear them often, but dammit, my legs ARE looking better, no matter what my thunder thighs say!  Thunder thighs be damned!  LOL.

It felt so good to sweat like that.  Man, I love Bikram, I really do.  It has changed my life, I can't even properly put it into words.

Solid, on plan day.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

Off to blog stalk & do the commenting thing.  Then bed.

Good choices!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Day 1,051 - Funky Monday.

So, closing ceremonies.  I think I watched about 10 minutes of it.

Which was about 8 minutes more than I watched of the actual Olympics.

Eric Idle has some skinny, twig-like legs, doesn't he?  I think that just makes him even funnier, in my opinion. Absolutely hysterical.  "Bright Side of Life" from Life of Brian is one of my favorite movie songs ever.

Heard Oasis was part of the closing act, didn't see them, but heard that they were just kind of meh.  Apparently, all that smoking & drinking has caught up with Liam's vocal chords.  Wonderwall is one of my favorite songs, and it's the reason why I discovered Oasis to begin with.  Those Gallagher brothers - they amuse me so!

Who the hell is Jessi J? Not that it really matters, she aint Freddie Mercury, that's for damn sure.  They should've just played footage from one of Queen's Wembley shows.  That would've been much better, I think.

One other thing - a 7 point win for Team USA over Spain?  That's actually really disappointing.  I mean, it goes without saying that anything less than a gold medal would've been a complete disaster, but a 7 point margin?  The Dream Team averaged something like 30+ wins.

P.S.  That sound you hear is the entire 92 Dream Team saying, "7 points, really?"

And that's pretty much all that I watched of the ceremonies.  Kinda wished I had cared a little more.

Anywho, on to me.  (That was a quick turnaround.)

I've been feeling like I'm in a funk of some kind.  I can't really explain it because I don't understand it myself.  I'm trying to snap out of it by focusing on positive stuff.  That's hard though.  Especially because when I think of how much I've lost so far, I immediately think of the consequences visible on my body.  Like the loose sagging skin on my midsection and inner thighs.  My loose skin is the bane of my existence. It looks awful.  So awful, I hate it.  Anyone would.  Especially men.  Sigh.  Ok, done with that now.

I decided to shake up my workout today.  I started on the inclined treadmill walking at high speed for 15 minutes.  Then I decided to go at an all out run for another 15 minutes.  Which of course sent the blood pouring and my heart rate sky high. I also did a Firm DVD that I hadn't done in forever - Aerobic Body Shaping with Allie del Rio.  I burned 674 calories.

Lots of sweat going on here.  And the saga of the crazy cat lady hair totally continues.  :-)

Food intake was spot on today.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points, and got in all the requirements.

I am making a conscious effort to get bed at a decent time, which I have not been doing lately.   So I am off to get some shut eye.

Good choices!

Day 1,050 - Outdoor Workout.

It's Sunday, it's a beautiful warm summer day, and I was in a good mood.  Don't ask me why - although I have a feeling the sunshine had something to do with it.

So I decided to switch up my normal workout.  I took my workout outdoors for a nice change of pace, epic power walk. It wasn't quite a jog, and it was definitely more than a brisk stroll.   It was nice going around my neighborhood.  I should do that more often.  I walked up and down the blocks, some were hilly, some were kinda flat, but I made sure to make an effort to keep my heart rate up.   So I did that for 45 minutes, sweated because it was already kinda warm, then came back home and did 20 minutes of step, high knees, 200 weighted side bends, 100 reverse crunches, 100 regular crunches, and a plank. I burned 554 calories.

Please to excuse the crazy hair and the lime green sports bra.  I look all crazy on many different levels.  To be fair, I was wearing my Yankees cap to protect my face from the blazing sun, which explains the crazy, cat lady, hat hair.

Went to the beach since I didn't want to waste the sunshine.  Sweated a little since it did warm up quite a bit - 86 today!  I went to my Mom's for a bit, then hit BJ's (cue immature snickering now) then back home to clean my bathroom, shower & eat.  I cleaned & scrubbed my bathtub while still wearing my bikini.

Because I could.  ;-)

Bed is calling, kiddos.

Good choices!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Day 1,049 - WI Results.

Last week's weight:  158.4 lbs.
This week's weight:  158 lbs.

I lost 0.4 lbs this week.  Well, I'm not thrilled with that, but at least the scale is moving in the right direction.  And has been for the last 2 weeks.  So I can't complain, really.

I had a hard time getting myself going today.  It was one of those days where I just didn't feel like doing anything at all.  You know, like moving.  Hehe.  But I forced myself to get in the workout when all I wanted to do was sit around & waste brain cells.

But reluctantly - VERY reluctantly - I got around to changing into the workout gear and being productive.  I started with 23 minutes on the inclined treadmill.  Without AC blasting.  Because I needed to feel the sweat pouring off me.  I'm not kidding.  Then I did The Firm Calorie Killer with Nancy Tucker.  I can't even remember the last time I did this DVD.  It had fallen behind some other Firm DVDs in my TV stand, so when I saw it, I fished it out & decided to do it.  I had wanted to concentrate on cardio today anyway, so this was a timely re-discovery.  It had been forever since I did any step aerobics of any kind, so before the cool-down section started, I hit pause & added another 10 minutes of step.  Just to keep the blood flowing.  I wound up burning 605 calories.

Seriously, the sweat was unreal today.  I am not kidding.

Dinner tonight was something I hadn't had in forever - filet mignon.  I baked some kale chips with olive oil & sea salt and called it a day.  I was thinking about having steak tonight for dinner, then I saw the filet mignon in the store, and said, why not.  It was delicious!  I had to cut to cut & slice the piece in half and put the rest in a Ziploc bag in the fridge.  Tomorrow I will marinade the leftover piece & put it in the freezer for next week.

Did ok today - just ok.  Missed a serving of whole grains today, which is not a good thing.  But I did get in my other requirements, so I'll just call it even for now.

Hitting the hay soon.  Tomorrow will be a beach day, if the weather holds up.  We'll see.   The damn weather here has been so odd.  Just don't get it at all.

Off to blog stalk & then sleepy times.

Good choices!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Day 1,048 - Last Chance Workout.

I got up super early and was pumping with adrenaline for some reason.  Don't ask me why, I have no idea.  Normally I stay in bed as long as possible on a workday.  You know, since I kind dread having to get up at all.  But for whatever reason, I was up & going.  Got the coffee started, my food prep for the workday done, and then I proceeded to get ready.  I was at work a full 15 minutes before I actually needed to be there.  There's a Dunkin Donuts down from my office, and I started thinking I better refuel lest I start crashing early.  I got myself another hazelnut coffee - because I'm a flavored coffee kind of gal - and forgot to eat anything until almost noon.  Apparently, coffee makes me feel full.  Which is a good thing and a bad thing.  Mostly bad, I think.  Because for obvious reasons, your body needs proper nutrition to fuel itself.  Huge my bad, but I'm kinda convinced there may have been pharmaceuticals in my oodles of water that I chugged last night.   ;-)

That sound you hear is of me squealing because football season - REAL FOOTBALL - is around the corner!  Four weeks of preseason nonsense, then the real fun begins.  I am way too excited about this - you know, because I'm a girl and all.  Hehe.  Whatever, man.  I'm a girl who loves my sports!

The puzzling weather here in NY continues.  The day started off hazy & humid, then it started pouring rain.  And thundering.  Which as you all know, scared this tough NY chick to death.  No me gusta the kind of weather that goes boom boom.  Nope, not at all.   About 30 minutes after the rain ended, the clouds parted somewhat.  Just enough to let some sunshine poke out.  It remained humid as hell though.  I guess the weather is being a b*tch because we didn't have much of a winter.  Just need to suck it up & accept that it could be so much worse.

I apparently am a glutton for punishment when it comes to working out with no AC on - in certain regards.  I REFUSE to put the AC on in my bedroom when I'm using my treadmill.  Even in this kind of heat & humidity.  I do not what is wrong with me, but I feel ok about it.  I enjoy the puddles of sweat pouring down me when I do that.  I did 22 minutes on the inclined treadmill before I did The Firm Tough Tape with Tracie Long.  Forgot about all that leg work, man!  All those heavy leg presses!  I will be feeling it tomorrow, I just know it.  I added 10 minutes of heavy strength - delt flys, side lunges, military presses, squats & lunges.  I held my plank today for 1 minute, 34 seconds.  I also managed to sneak in 100 reverse crunches, since I don't work my lower abs - or my abs in general - enough.  100 weighted side bends too, to work the obliques.  I soo hate doing floor ab work.  I'll do it, but I can't stand it.  I burned 534 calories in my last chance workout.

See the rocking perspiration dripping?  That is real sweat, yo.  And that is also a brand new Champion sports bra - in a size effing Medium!  It felt a little tight at first, but the tatas needed to adjust to it, I think.  And it held the tatas pretty firmly in place too.  It was time to get new sports bras - the older ones I had just were too big.  I think I kinda like that.  ;-)

C'mon, you knew I had to insert at least ONE reference to my assets, right?  It's been a while.  ;-)

Solid day.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points, and got in all of my requirements.

I am pretty confident about my WI tomorrow.  Not sure how much less of a number I will see, but I do know that it will be less.  Honestly, that is all that matters, that the scale keeps moving down.  As long as my WI's are consistently solid every week showing my hard work, I will be happy.

In terms of body shape and certain problem areas shrinking making me happy in another way - Grr.   Don't even get me started on that.  The sagging skin on my inner thighs & midsection won't go away or "tighten up" without surgery. Shrug.  The banes of my existence, those two problem areas.  My arms, shoulders, back & the rest of my upper body are starting to get nicely defined, so it irritates to me no end that my lower body refuses to catch up already!  Breathe...... Must remember I can't control that, and there is NO such thing as isolated target toning.

Twitter / blog stalking commences now.  And Shark Week starts Sunday night.  Giddy about that too, for some reason.  LOL.

Good choices!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Day 1,047 - Reflecting.

First, you guys freaking rock my socks.   Second, I love you all.

Nuff said.

So apparently, I've been taking the last few days to reflect on some things that may or may not have been best left buried in the past where they belong.  I wallowed, I did, I admit that.  Too late now, I thought & felt what I did, and that's ok.

Reflecting is not a bad thing, but I should've for sure caught myself once I started down the dark place it took me to.  No need to feel that way, and my inner fat girl can go fuck herself as far as I'm concerned.

I'm in the driver's seat of my life - not her.  Not anyone else.

It is a choice to eat well and work out.

It takes a conscious effort to lose weight and maintain your loss.

Super diligence will lead me to make the right - and good - choices foodwise.

Extra attention to what I do and what I eat will keep the weight coming off.  And will keep it off.

If I continue to do all these things, and do them well, I'll be healthier.  I'll be happier.  And my inner fat girl won't be quite so loud.

One of the things that helped snap me out of my self-imposed funk was Bikram.  God, I love Bikram.  I don't know what I would do without it now.  It has helped me so much in ways that I can't imagine and can't even put into words properly.  And yes, sexy instructor helps.  ;-)

Last night, during one of the poses - the name escapes me right now - the one where you have to bend down with your knees locked with a straight spine and place your head onto your shins with no space at all - I was ALMOST able to do that.  Almost.  For the first time ever.  I didn't quite get there, but man, that felt good.  As good as getting my pinky toe around my calf during eagle pose.

Tonight, there was a man in the front row next to me that I had never seen before.  I assumed he was new, but I guess he wasn't, since there's a rule at the studio that newcomers to the practice are not allowed in the front row.  The reason behind that is so less experienced Bikram-ers can look to the people in the front if they are unsure of how to do a posture.  Anywho, I wanted to kill him.  He kept breathing so heavily that it was distracting me.  After the initial breathing exercise, you are to breathe in & out through your nose - CALMLY.  This guy kept gasping for breath.  Either he was a smoker, was really out of shape, didn't listen when Tommy said to breathe in & out of your nose - or all of the above.  Tommy even said later in the class that we are to calm our breathing and be as still as possible.  I think Tommy saw me glaring at this guy, that and his gasping was very loud & distracting.

But whatever, I worked my ass off and sweated like a pig.  I mean, I was pouring & dripping sweat.
Solid day.  Tracked everything, got in all of my requirements, and stayed within my points.  Awesome.

I'm feeling better because I just know that I'm moving in the right direction.  Inner voice be damned!

People - tell the negativity in your head to STFU!  There's no place for that.  We are worth so much more.  So much more.  No matter what.

Always remember that.

Good choices!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Day 1,046 - My Inner Fat Girl.

Don't you hate it when you really believe you've moved past something, whatever it is, and then something happens that makes you realize you haven't?

That was me yesterday, listening to BFF complain & vent about this wedding she will be in on Saturday.  It brought back all the stupid crap I felt from her wedding.  And my inner fat girl started talking to me.

Usually, I'm pretty good - more than good - at telling her to shut the fuck up.  Yesterday & most of today I was not as successful.  It sucks when you allow old stuff to get to you.  I got angry at myself and told myself to get the hell over it.  Nothing good can come from listening to the fat girl in your head telling you some bad things.  Not involving food, but definitely involving feelings of self-worthlessness.  I swear, it's like the girl in the before photo is just..... I can't put it into words now.

How exactly do you make your inner fat girl go away forever?  Because I would love that.   Seriously.

I did feel better because I was going to Bikram.  Yes, with sexy instructor.  He is fine.  Oh and um, I wore my awesome new Lululemon outfit.  I love that outfit.  The shorts totally don't run up, covering up my thunder thighs the entire 90 minute session.  I would buy more, but man, those clothes are expensive!  And during Standing Separate Leg Stretching Pose I almost - ALMOST - popped out of my top.  Umm yeah.  Luckily, I was able to catch it before it became a situation.  LOL.

I love this color pink.   Pink is definitely one of my favorite colors ever.

Solid day, once I got over myself.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.

The inner fat girl does NOT stand a chance.

I need to hit the sack.

Good choices!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Day 1,045 - Wedding Stuff Rehashed.

Some of you have followed me for a while, and some of you are kinda new around here.  Those of you that are new, I'll just give you a quick rundown, mkay.

I was the MOH at my BFF's wedding last year.  And it was a miserable experience because I was a good 60 lbs heavier then than I am now.  I tried to drop the weight, some weight, and I kept self sabotaging.   I was so happy for my friend, but I couldn't wait to put the entire miserable experience behind me.  Forever.   My dress had a back zipper that snapped halfway down my back, and I couldn't fix it.  So one of the other bridesmaids tied the sash around it which kind of hid it.
That smile is forced.  I was ecstatic for my friend, but I felt like such a lard that day.  Especially next to my super tiny BFF.

So my BFF is a bridesmaid in her friend's wedding on Saturday. Apparently, it's very disorganized with poor planning.  And she's been venting to me about it.  Complaining, really.  And it's been bringing up all the feelings I was going through last year for her wedding.

I hated being that fat, looking that fat, and feeling that fat next to the other 2 thin bridesmaids.  All the stuff, all the planning for the wedding, for her bachelorette party took a major toll on me.  And I vented it out on Twitter and on here.  I never said a word to my BFF.  I never complained one bit to her.  And now that she's complaining to me about this wedding, I just don't want to hear it.

Her wedding last year (and all the crap that came with it, like planning the bachelorette party, having to deal with a bridesmaid that did nothing to help except to complain about how expensive everything was, and dealing with one particular, c*nt friend of my BFF's the day of her bachelorette party) left such a bitter taste in my mouth.  It left me thinking that that if I ever get married, I'll probably just elope and not tell anyone about it.  Either that, or I will have super small, no fuss wedding with like 20 poeple and call it a day.  That's another thing.  I say "If I ever get married" and she immediately counters with, "No, not if, WHEN."  Or she'll say things like, "When it's your turn, I'll plan your bridal shower!" Or whatever.  And I get all defensive about it - like, how do you know that's going to happen?  No one has a crystal ball, no one knows what will happen in the future.  Does that mean if I don't get married, if that doesn't happen for me, you'll be disappointed about it?  I get the feeling sometimes that other people would be more disappointed about it than I would ever be.

And by the way, I'm kinda convinced that it's not going to happen.  Because I feel like if it was supposed to happen, it would've happened by now.  I don't know.  I think I'm also just used to being single at this point.  And there's nothing wrong with that.  I think it's so much better to remain single than to settle for something or someone just for the sake of being with someone.  And then being miserable for the rest of your life.

I need to be clear about something.  If ANYONE (it doesn't have to be my BFF) says something like that to me, I immediately get defensive about it.  Because what I hear in that response is, (and I know this is not the intent behind saying something like that to me) I'm not good enough unless I'm with someone.  And yeah, I know that's all in my head.  I know she - or anyone else - would NEVER think, feel or say anything like that to me.  And at some point, I'm going to need to get over myself and stop being so damn defensive about it.  Right now, I can't help it.  Right now, the fat girl in me is screaming saying that I don't deserve it, and so my touchiness about that particular subject is my defense mechanism.  Like I'm preparing myself for not being with someone since my natural reaction to anything ever is to think worst case scenario.

If you never expect anything from anyone, then you can never be disappointed.

I'm all cheery & rainbows, what can I say.

So today, when she was complaining to me about it, I told her something that I told myself last year, which was this - It will be over soon, and then you never have to think about it again.  Her response?

"Thank you for letting me vent!  You never complained once and I'm so grateful to you for everything!"

So the guilt settled in.  Followed by resentment that a year later, we're still talking about her wedding.  Which was something that I never want to talk about again - not because of her - but because of how awful & huge I felt that day.

Well.  That's enough of that.  I never wanted to rehash any of the wedding stuff again.  Ever.

I went to Bikram today and felt good about it.  I was thinking of not going because the memory of those feelings of self-worthlessness & were creeping back.  Honestly, I wanted to just go home and sit on the couch.  But I went, because I forced myself to remember how great I always feel post workout.

Sweat = endorphins = feeling much better & not being so damn pessimistic.  Lots of rainbows & sunshine around here.

Solid day in the books.  Tracked everything, got in the requirements, and stayed within my points.  It was a solid day, even though remembering how gross I felt in that damn dress last year made me cry at work for about 2 minutes. 

This is why I never like talking about feelings and shizz that other girls love talking about.  I swear I'm a dude in a chick's body sometimes.  Although the tatas. . . . Hehe.

Ok - need to cheer up & get out of this self-imposed funk.  I'll be better tomorrow - I promise!

Good choices!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Day 1,044 - On Rest Days.

This is one of those posts that starts out as a simple question in my head that I then tweet out into the Twitterverse that then becomes a blog post.  Don't you love it when that happens?  Hehe.

So this morning, I tweeted this:

"Rest days?  Yay or Nay?  Anyone?"

I've been wondering about this for a bit.  Here's my school of thought on it, and it's probably kinda old school.

You should take at least 1 rest day a week.  Active recovery is essential in helping with your muscle growth.

As it is now, I take 1 rest day a week.  I work out 6 days a week for at least 1 hour.  I used to work out 4 days in a row, then take a rest day.  Sometimes, that would mean 2 rest days in a week, depending on when the fourth workout day fell in the week.

Today, after having worked out 7 days in a row, I decided to take a break.  A rest day.  Just to let my body & muscles recover.

I never take 2 rest days in a row. I just don't think that's a good idea.  It's way too easy (for me) to get used to rest days and become lazy.  That is a major no no for me.

I know there are people out there - hardcore fitness fanatics - who work out every single day.  Some of them make a living with their body, like bodybuilders or pro athletes/models.  Some of them used to be fat and workout everyday because they never want to go back to being the before photo.  I get that, I really do.  I mean, I never want to go back to the girl in the before photo, that's for damn sure, and I'm not even at my goal yet.  But for me, 6 days of working out a week, with a minimum of 60 minutes of intensity, is more than good for me.  Right now.  This may change as I inch my way closer to goal.  I don't know yet.  I will have to see how my body settles in during maintenance mode.  If and when I ever get there.  Fingers crossed.

How many rest days do you take a week?   What are your thoughts on it?  Let me know, I'm interested in hearing what you guys think.

Today, I decided to work my core a little so that I wasn't completely sedentary.  I held a full form plank for 1 minute & 33 seconds.  I did some crunches also.  Not a whole lot though.  And I made a conscious effort to walk around the office more.  That includes going up & down the stairs more today than I normally would have.  Several, several, many times.

By the way, don't get me started on the mess my desk was when I got back today.  Covered in files.  Totally sucked.  But at least I was busy, and will be busy for the next week.  For sure.  The rest of the week.  Awesome.

Anywho, I decided to treat myself to a manicure & pedicure today.  I figured I deserve it, so why not?  The fact that my cuticles were driving me crazy may or may not have played a factor in this decision.

Formal affair by Essie.  It's a little lighter than I'm used to going, but it's the summer time, so I figure it's ok.

Solid day.  Tracked everything, stayed within my points, and got in all the requirements.  It feels really good when you eat well.  And when you feel good, your mind is clearer, and you make better decisions.  Whether it's food or everyday life decisions, you just make better decisions.  Ain't that right?

Need to blog stalk and catch up on some stuff.

Good choices!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Day 1,043 - Cinderella Day.

Today was a weird day weatherwise.  It was muggy, hazy, then sunny, then back to hazy again.  I debated about going to the beach, but then the damn weather kept changing.  Eh, no biggie.

I had Cinderella things to do anyway.  Two loads of laundry, meal planning & preparing, and tidying up.  It's gotta be done, right.  Still, no me gusta at all.

Um, I'm watching about 5 minutes of the Olympics, and I just saw that poor little Canadian gymnast totally bite it on the vault & completely mess up her leg.  Or calf.  Man, that sucks.  Those chicks train their whole lives for those 10 seconds of performance.

Anywho, that aside, let me tell you about my day.  I decided to work upper body today because it's been a while.  I started with 23 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then I did my own upper body workout.  Bicep & hammer curls, delt flys, clean & press, lat rows, upright rows, triceps pushbacks, military press, ribcage pullovers & bench press & French press.  I did some crunches, 100 weighted side bends, and held a plank for 1 minute and 12 seconds.  I burned 554 calories.

I sweated my ass off.  It was so hot & humid today.  Can you see how my sports bra is completely soaked?

Solid day in the books.  I have a feeling I will be feeling the soreness tomorrow.  Its all good.  Food has been tracked & I stayed within my points.

I should probably hit the sack now.  Peace out for now.

Good choices!

Day 1,042 - WI Results & NSV!!

Last week's weight:  160.4 lbs.
This week's weight:  158.4 lbs.

I lost 2 pounds this week!  Looks like I may have pulled my head out of my ass, finally.  And apparently, DC agreed with me.  It scared me knowing that I would be out of my routine for a few days, but it all worked out.  Because I worked out.  And sweated in DC's heat & humidity.  So it's all good.

I left my WW meeting early to get to the 10 AM Bikram session with sexy instructor.  Dayum.  Fine.  Just fine.

Oh my Gawd.  I almost - ALMOST - was able to wrap my ENTIRE ankle around my calf today during eagle pose!  I think I managed to get a single toe - maybe even 2 - around the back of my calf.  It hurt like hell being all twisted up in that pose, but I am getting closer to that.  Major, MAJOR NSV.  I think I almost cried, but I was sweating so much, I'm not sure if it was tears or just sweat that got into my eyes.

Oh, and I totally wore the new Yoga outfit I got at Lululemon.  You know, the tank & the shorts that are both a size mother-effing 8?!  Can I just say - I freaking love those shorts!!  They stayed in place on my thunder thighs the entire time.  I didn't have to keep tugging them down or anything.  Totally worth the extra $$ I spent on them.  And for some reason, I look darker in this pic, I think.

I got home, showered, ate, then headed to the beach for a few hours.  It was hot, but not as humid as it was yesterday.  Definitely not as hazy either.  The sky was actually pretty clear.  I laid out, sweated a bit, then realized I couldn't take the heat anymore.  LOL.

Sorry no bikini pics.  Even the tatas need a rest day every now and then.  ;-)

Solid, super day in the books.  I'm just sooo happy that the scale went down again after a few crap-tastic weeks of no progress.

So umm, congrats Michael Phelps.  Man, I wish I cared more.  Even just a little more about the Olympics.  Oh well.

Except to say this - Hey Kobe - the 92 Dream Team blew out their opponents every night by an average of 40 points or more.  Still wanna say this Team USA could beat the Dream Team???  You moron.  Oh yeah - I need to mention that Michael Jordan was my idol growing up.   Still is.  I wanna fly like him.

Good choices!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Day 1,041 - Last Chance Workout & Liz!

Hey people!

It's my last weekday of vacay, which totally sucks, because it means its over, and I must go back to work on Monday.  Boo.

I decided to hit the noon Bikram with sexy instructor to get the workout done & out of the way.  Sexy instructor was looking mighty fine today, but what else is new?  Once again, I did not attempt full standing head to knee pose - on my right side anyway.  I was content just performing the modification, and my back felt great.  It felt like its ole self, actually.  I will wait another week or so until I attempt it again.  I don't want to take any chances at all.

I almost - ALMOST - managed to wrap my ankle around leg during eagle pose.  Huge almost.  If you know anything about me, you know that my stomach and my thunder thighs are the banes of my existence.  They prevent me from doing just about anything normal (like crossing my legs all the way) so this was a huge deal for me.  I worked hard, & sweated my booty off.

Sweat does not lie, peeps.

The plan was to get home after Bikram, shower, change, eat & then head to the beach.  It was way too humid for that though, and not really all that sunny.  So I stayed home and completed some much needed Cinderella duties.  Kitchen & bathroom are now clean & spotless.  Tomorrow is dusting & vacuuming with a little bit of laundry.

Liz was going to the 311 show at Jones Beach, so I met her and her lovely fried for dinner at this cute little place near the venue - Jojo Apples.  She saw me first & recognized me right away!

It's my week for meeting bloggy friends, what can I say?  I'm kinda loving it.  :-)

She's so tiny & petite!  OH - and gorgeous! We had a blast, just chit chatting.

We are so meeting up again, Liz - I had so much fun!   You are such a sweetheart!  Next time, I'll go to you, somewhere on the Jersey Shore, perhaps?  Or you can come with me for a beach day.  :-)

Solid, super day in the books.  Tracked everything, got in al the requirements, and stayed within my points.

It was just a great day all around.

WI is tomorrow, and I'm feeling confident about it.  Been a few weeks since I've been able to say that.

Time to blog stalk & wrap up.

Good choices!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Day 1,040 - Back to Bikram.

Oh hey, Bikram.  How I've missed you.  It's been a while.

But before I talk about that, I need to say I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I'm just so not into watching the Olympics at all.   I just don't care about it like I have in years past.   I haven't watched any of the basketball games or much of the swimming.  I had a mild interest in seeing if maybe Phelps would break the medal record (he did) but I found out about via Twitter.  And then when I heard about it, I was like, great for him, and then quickly forgot all about it.

Guess I've got some other things on my mind.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  Is it?

It was really hot & humid in NY today, so after I stopped by my Mom's for a quick visit, I decided to hit the beach.  In my pink sparkly bikini.

Sup, ya'll?  Just hanging out.  And busting out.  On the beach.  Just me & my boobs.  No biggie.  ;-)

I lasted 2 hours at the beach before I felt like I was gonna die.  I had plenty of water with me, but I was sweating, it was so freaking humid, and I wanted to hit the 6 PM Bikram session.  I figured it would be better than going to the 8 PM session with the instructor I absolutely cannot stand.

I did not attempt to do standing head to knee pose in its fullest expression.  Instead, prior to the session, I had asked Chris if there were any modifications I could do.  He told me to either sit out of it entirely, or perform it without bending over at all.  So here's what I did.

I locked my standing leg, in this case, it was my left leg, contracted my abominals (my core) real tight, and just raised my right knee, with my back completely straight.  My right foot was flexed, not pointed, and that's as far as I got because I did NOT want to risk injury again.  My right lower back has been feeling less tight, but that tightness is still there.  Somewhat less though, so it's improving slowly.  Thank goodness.

It felt so good to go back to Bikram.  So freaking good.

I also held a full form plank today for 1 minute, 41 seconds.  Slowly increasing and improving on my plank time.  Love that.  I felt sore in my abdominals when I woke up this morning, and originally, I had attribute that to planking.  Then I remembered that I ran on an incline yesterday on the treadmill, which was in all likelihood the reason for the soreness.   I'm not complaining about that - I love feeling sore!
Drenched in my own sweat.  But I felt great after the session.  No pain, no feeling of wanting to vomit, just a great feeling of accomplishment.

I'm trying something new with dinner this week.  I am mixing fresh kale with salad field greens.  Normally, I just have salad - no kale.  But I'm trying to incorporate another dark green in my normal everyday eating, along with the fresh baby spinach I always put in my Green Monster Smoothies.

Kale is a very bitter, somewhat tough dark green.  But I'll get used to it.  And it's so good for you.  I put some oven roasted white chicken meat over it with a little olive oil & salt, just to give it some flavor.  I do not like to eat things that taste like cardboard.

Solid day.  Stayed within my points, tracked everything, and got in all the requirements.

I have woefully neglected my favorite blogs this week due to being in DC, and I feel really bad about that.  I promise I will get to it again tonight & tomorrow!

Off to blog stalk & comment.

Good choices!