Monday, December 31, 2012

About Resolutions.

I don't make any.  They almost never stick.  In my experience, anyway.

I think it's more important to write down achievable, sustainable goals.




That last one is Carla's, can't take credit for it.   We need to cheer ourselves on the way we would anyone else on this weight loss / healthy living thingy.

I'm still sick, today is better than I have been the last 2 days.  Congested, my head feels tight, a little sniffly, a little coughy, a little sneezy.

Really, really hoping it clears up soon.  I'm hearing this year's strain of the flu is the worst.  I believe it, since mostly everyone I know is sick.

Interesting comments on my birthday post.  I don't mind constructive criticism - I'm all for it.

A little tact and class go a long way.  All I'm saying.

I apologized to my friend.  That's all I'll say about it, for now.

Low key NYE tonight.  Birthday is tomorrow.  Going to Mom's for lunch.  This morning she made me almojabanas like she does every year for my birthday.

Those things are the Mac Daddy.


Yeah, I had taken a bite out of it before I thought to snap a pic.  Hehe.

Working out has been nil since I got this damn bug.  I did go to Bikram on Saturday, which wasn't the smartest thing, since I couldn't really breathe.  (Stuffy nose.)  We'll see.

If you're going out tonight, be smart and be safe.

Here's to making 2013 MY BITCH.

Friday, December 28, 2012

On Birthdays.

I was feeling better, but now I'm sneezing and I can't breathe out of my nose. Eh.

So my birthday is coming up in a few days, and as usual, I don't feel like doing anything about it.

Big surprise.  I never feel like doing anything lately.  Lately, most of what I've been doing is going to work, working out, Bikram, grocery shopping, blogging, talk to a few peeps (well, ONE in particular,) repeat, etc.

Anywho, so today.  BFF texts me this  message.  Do I want to celebrate my birthday by going over to her place while she cooks & we catch up?

Really nice & thoughtful.  Right?

My response: I don't really feel like celebrating. What's there to celebrate? Thanks anyway.

Unsurprisingly, no response from her.  I mean, am I really that much of an asshole? (That was rhetorical.  Apparently yes, I am that much of an asshole.)  What is wrong with me?

Here's the thing. I don't see the point in celebrating my birthday now since I'm getting older.

I don't want to celebrate getting older.

I don't feel like celebrating getting more white hairs, more wrinkles, and more cellulite.

I just don't see the point in any of that. I know some people like to go over the top and be all ostentatious about it and have these huge parties and get-togethers, but again, I don't see the point.

I feel like I don't have anything to show for this year.  Not the ONE thing I want most in this world (husband, kids of my own - ok, 2 things) anyway.  So, what would be the point?

Rainbows, sunflowers, & sunshine.

Well, according to some peeps on the Twatter, it's not about celebrating getting older (isn't that what a birthday represents?) it's about celebrating "you."

Ok.  Yes, maybe.  But couldn't I just do that any day of the week?  I can ONLY "celebrate" me one day a year?  I just don't see the appeal and what the big deal is once you reach a certain age.

Does anyone really have a big shindig for their 34th birthday? Yes, that's how old I'll be in a few days. Maybe if it were a milestone, I could see it.  I don't think I even did anything for my 30th birthday.

I mean, maybe some people need to make themselves feel important by making it a day all about them, but honestly..... Shrug.  Not for me.  I just don't see the appeal.  And like I said, maybe if I had my own family, I'd feel like doing something with them, but I don't.

What do you guys do?  Celebrate, not celebrate? Over the top, lowkey, or nothing at all?

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Sick... Crap!

So I went to the doctor today and the bad news is I'm sick. (I knew that already.)  I also have a low grade fever.  101.6

The good news is that I don't have strep. Woo hoo!  Its an upper respiratory, which is just a head cold.  He gave me a script for Cipro and told me to rest the next 2 days.

Which won't be a problem since I've been knocked out of my routine anyway.  Boo.

Throat is really killing me, and the coughing is annoying.  I am hoping that by the end of the weekend, it'll be good as new.

Tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow I will feel better.

Tomorrow I will do some kind of physical activity, even if it's just 20 minutes. I may hit a Bikram session tomorrow, but I'll see how I feel.

Yesterday and today I was feeling blah.  The last two days have been the opposite of great.

I hate being sick. I'm the worst sick person ever.  All I do is whine & complain like a baby. It could be a lot worse.  The doctor said it was a good thing I came in now before it progressed to something worse, like strep.  That would not have been good. No. No.

Ok, I plan on getting more agua in (I'm at 75 ounces so far, which is low for me since usually I drink close to a gallon every day.)  And catch up on some blogs, too.

Better tomorrow.

How'd You Do?

I woke up this morning feeling two things:

1.  Mass confusion as to what day of the week it is.

2. Funny feeling in my throat/cold that my niece gave to me on Christmas Eve because the poor thing herself was sick.

Oh them kids - just walking germ infestation of things.

Wendy texted me that her throat was bothering too, courtesy of her husband's niece.  So apparently, something is going around.

I am fighting this temporary annoyance with lots of fluids and Airborne. I also have Vitamin C supplements.  No me gusta.

So, how'd you do?  Remember that if you overindulged, don't wait til January 1.  Start today.

My head has that stuffy feeling right now. Might have a fever, so I'm a-heading to the doctor to see if he can hook me up with the Z-pack or something.  I love my niece to death, but I could kill her right about now for getting me sick.

I wanted to go to Bikram last night, but I couldn't stop coughing. I'll see how I feel later and ask the doctor what he thinks. If not, I can always get to a class tomorrow.  I've been drinking crazy amounts of water and taking Airborne.  Yesterday I drank a gallon and a half of water.  That's no joke.

Do you regret what you ate on Christmas or Christmas Eve? Nothing you can do about it now except to get back on the ball.

The longer you wait to do that, the harder it'll be.  Life is hard enough without having to worry about that, that's just what I think.

Going into 2013 like a mother-effing ninja.  Just watch me.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas Eve Recap.

Merry Christmas, people!

Quick update, and then I am headed to bed.

Went to Mom's, where we had the traditional lasagna, cauliflower, and cheesecake.  I had my small piece of lasagna, some cauliflower, and cheesecake.

But before I left, I made sure to get in my workout.  I did Firm Express Cardio & Sculpt with Rebekah. Been a while, and it was challenging.  Added another 20 minutes of squats, plyos, and other intervals to get my heart rate up.  Burned 324 calories.  Solid 40 minutes of intense activity.

My brother was already there with the kids when I got to my Mom's.  My SIL had to work, so she couldn't make it. (She's a doctor.)

Santa was very good to the kids this year.

My brother helping Sonia put on the winter coat I got for her.  The baby looking up at the two of them.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

Remember it's just a day, and what you put into your body doesn't care that it's a holiday!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve Eve.

Christmas presents wrapped, workout is done, and heading to Mom's tomorrow.

We'll be sitting down to eat around 1, depending on what time my brother & the kids arrive.  My SIL has to work tomorrow, so she will unfortunately not be there.

No baking on my part this year, Mom handled the cheesecake on her own.  :-)  That woman is a freaking surgeon in the kitchen.  I'm bringing a fresh had of cauliflower to enjoy with the lasagna & salad that will be on the table.

Workout was straight up cardio.  Did Step Reebok The Video with Gin Miller, and I added an additional 15 minutes of step work to push myself.  It had been a LONG time since I had done this particular DVD.  And I was slightly sore in my lower body today from yesterday's workout, plus my abs were on fire as well.

Oh mylanta.  It felt good to get it out of the way early.  459 calories burned.

I can't wait to see the kids tomorrow.  My nephew just started walking, so it'll be adorable watching him just run around.  And I know my niece will be super happy with her presents.

There are lots of things I'm grateful for this year, my family being at the top of the list, but not least of which is the blogosphere, and the great people I've met as a result of my blog.

I don't know what I'd do without you all.

Merry Christmas to all those celebrating, as I get that in a day early.  :-)

Saturday, December 22, 2012

WI Results & Some Awesome Xmas Gifts!

Last week's weight:  160.4 lbs.
This week's weight:  160.4 lbs.

I lost 0.4 lbs this week.  I'm ok with that.

After losing almost 5 pounds last week, I expected a much smaller loss, but a loss nevertheless.  If I hadn't lost anything, I would've been pissed!  Hehe.   Honestly, as long as the scale moves down, that's all I care about.  That's all that matters.

I had ordered this Cathe DVD from Amazon that looked pretty good - but hadn't done yet.  Cathe is awesome (she's a Joisy gal, after all) and her workouts are EPIC.

Holy sweet mother-effing hell, I thought I was gonna die.  I'm not kidding.

I did my own warm up in addition to the DVD warm up.  12 minutes of stepping, then the DVD.  Cathe uses sliding discs, (which I don't have), weights, and a resistance loop.  Plie jacks using the loop is umm, interesting.  And it burns!  Lots of tabata style bursts in this one.

Remember suicide runs from gym class in elementary school?  Whoa.  Those bring back nightmares.  But I did 'em anyway. Quite reluctantly, I might add.

Let's see what else was killer in this one?  Directional change jumps, high wide knees, walking lunges, and squats using the loop.

I will be walking around like a tool tomorrow.  517 calories burned.

Not sure what's on tap for tomorrow.  Besides housework, the day is kind of open, so we shall see.  Monday is Noche Buena & my Dad's birthday, so I may go to my Mom's to make the cheesecake that we have on every year on the 24th (it's Dad's favorite.)  Us Hispanic peoples celebrate on the 24th, not Christmas Day.

I got some pretty awesome Xmas gifts early that arrived yesterday.

How awesome is my cross bow?  :-)

A hatchet!  Seriously, how can so much awesomeness exist in just 2 photos?

I feel like a badass!  And I am also all set for the Zombie Apocalypse.  You know, if it ever happens.

Other than that, I don't do much gift exchanging, save for the kids, of course.  It's fun buying my niece & nephew little gifts because they're so cute!

Which reminds me, I need to wrap their gifts tomorrow. Ah.

Hitting the hay in a bit.  Yawn....

Friday, December 21, 2012

Heavy, Beast Legs.

But first, the office Xmas party.

Remind me not to go next year.  Or ever again, for that matter.  What a complete waste of time.

One of the attorneys didn't even bother to go.  Neither did one of the girls.  Should've just taken the afternoon off.

You never know how fucking catty & bitchy women can be, even in their 40s.

That's all I'll say about that.

Food was eh.  I didn't have the Caesar salad that they served first. I had a small plate of fresh, sliced honey dew & cantaloupe, carrot sticks, and green pepper slices.  Lots of water.

Two bites of penne alla vodka (not in the plan at all) and the chicken marsala was gross.  One bite of that crap and I was done.

I left as they were bringing out the coffee/tea cups.  No point in staying.

I had eaten my planned lunch of grilled chicken, brown rice & broccoli before we all left to get to the party.  Smart move on my part since the food was gross anyway, minus the pasta.

Heavy legs on the menu tonight.  Ass to grass squats, which is a CrossFit move I learned at Fitbloggin. Military style squats where you bring your arms out in front of you as you squat, and you lower yourself as low as you can.  The instructors had said it was ok to bring your knees over your ankles in this move, which really confused me.  Everything I've ever been told about squats has been the exact opposite - knees aligned with ankles always.


You do as many reps of these ass to grass squats as you can in one minute.  I did that 3 times around in my circuit that I just made up in my head.  High step ups, calf pumps, leg press, curtsy dips, side lunges, dead lifts and heavy weighted squats.  21 minutes on the inclined treadmill to get warmed up, also.  466 calories.

I'm feeling this in my glutes already.  Mmm hmmm.

Weigh in tomorrow, and I am feeling really good about it.  I know I won't show another 4 + pound loss for the week, but I feel confident about it nevertheless.

So much for that end of the world nonsense.  :-)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Why Liking Your Instructor is Important.

I've mentioned here before that there's a certain instructor at the studio that I absolutely can not stand.  I don't like his particular style of instructing.  I don't think it flows very well.

He's also way too pushy and persistent.  So basically, he just rubs me the wrong way.  Hence the reason why I never take class when he's teaching.

You do need to have a degree of mutual respect and mutual likability with the instructor and/or personal trainer.  If the chemistry is not there, it's just not going to work.  And then chances are you won't be going back.

Ok, fastforward to tonight.  The instructor schedule changed last minute.  My studio is famous for doing that.  Rob, who teaches hot Vinyasa was on the schedule for tonight, replacing Tommy.  I went to give it a shot, as I had never taken class with Rob before.

He is a nice guy, really, he is, but his personality is .... how do I put this?  Overpowering?  Too out there?  Just too much.  The other instructors tell you or at least give you the impression that you are to take your practice seriously, and so they carry themselves differently.  Not completely staid and super-serious, but enough so that people know enough not to be fucking around.  They lay down the ground rules and if people aren't following them - like if there's too much chatting, like there was tonight - then  they squash it.  Chris & Tommy have moved people around in the studio so they're not talking and being distracting to others.

Rob is not like that.  He tried, but umm, it didn't quite work.  Apparently, the college kids are back home for break, and they made up the majority of the class tonight.  I swear to God I was going to kill them.  They wouldn't shut up in the beginning, but as the class wore on, and they got more uncomfortable, they finally settled the hell down.

It rubs me raw when people act like that in class.  I know not to take myself too seriously, believe me, but when you're paying through the nose for a service, you bet your ass I'm going to take it slightly serious.

I think my frustration got the better of me.  Instead of letting it go, it wound me up.  Which meant I was already poring sweat halfway through the first set of the first breathing exercise!

A few good things - Rob would occasionally point out my form to the class, saying to follow it.  He did that during triangle pose and standing separate leg head to knee pose. :-)  Major win.  And it made it better.

My office Christmas party is tomorrow, and I really REALLY don't want to go.  It's at a country club close to the office in the afternoon.  I asked one of the girls about the food, and she told me that they start with hors d' oeuvres, a cheese platter (none of which I will be having, nor going anywhere near), a sliced fruit/veggie tray that sounds like it's safe, then a salad that I will have, then the main course, which can be chicken, filet mignon or salmon served with penne alla vodka.  I will have chicken and not have any of the pasta.  Dessert is a buffet style cookie/pastry tray.  I will not be having any of it.

I'm going to have my regular breakfast of Ezekiel toast with one Tbsp of low fat cream cheese, a Fage yogurt, a hard boiled egg and a egg white, and a gold apple.  I will also have a mini lunch of 1/2 cup of brown rice and grilled chicken breast.  That way, I won't be starving by the time the main course rolls around and I will NOT be tempted by the pasta. I will tell the waiters not to serve me any on my plate.  Salad and chicken for me.  Lots & lots of water also.  Done.

I haven't been to the Xmas party in 3 years.  One of the attorneys is retiring, so we all kind of have to go.  Sigh.

I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Strength, Strength, Strength Training.

Yes, it's important.  Super, duper enormously important.

I started weight training from Day 1.  I wasn't able to lift heavy or squat heavy, of course, but I could do bicep curls with 3 pound hand weights.

In truth, I specifically concentrated on working my upper body.  I've been concentrating on that for about 5 years, longer actually.  Now that I can see some of my hard work, it feels really good.  And I'm happy that I've been doing what I've been doing.

Lately though, I've noticed that my lower body isn't as defined as I'd like it to be.  I've been hearing and reading that the best way to go with strength is to do split sets on separate days, of course.  So that's what I'm doing consciously from now on.

No matter where you are in your weight loss, if you're not weight training, then START NOW.   Right now.


Today was upper body.  Chest, shoulders, back, biceps, and triceps.  Some people only concentrate on specific parts of the upper body.  If chest, shoulders & back are going to be worked, then they won't do biceps or triceps.  And vice versa.  Today, I decided to just do all of it.  

I started with 20 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then went through a routine that I just made up on my own.  Modified pushups, French press, hammer curls, lat rows, bench press, kettle bell swings, pec flys, delt flys, bended knee deadlifts (is that what they're called?) and frontal sweeps.  Not very organized, I know, but I did a lot and as many reps as I could.  Burned 437 calories.

Ok, I'm not really sure what's been going on with my hair lately, as in why it's been looking like a hot mess recently.  I don't expect to look like a cover girl right after I've finished working out, but man, must I look so maniacal & crazy cat lady-like? ;-)  Apparently, the answer is a resounding yes.  Hehe.

Also got in a tiny bit of ab work, not a lot, not as much as I should be doing, but some nevertheless.  50 crunches, 100 weighted side bends.  Kettle bell swings also work your core, but you've got to keep it contracted and sucked in.  Uh huh.

I expect my arms to be sore tomorrow.   Love that feeling.

Start strength training now.  Even if you can't do a whole lot or go heavy.  You'll thank me later.  ;-)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Today at Bikram...

Tommy told me that my Balancing Stick pose was "perfect."


Balancing stick is the posture that burns the most calories in Bikram.  Really gets your heart rate up & going.

Something odd, if you want to call it that, I noticed today in the studio.  About myself.  So we're doing the initial breathing exercise, and I could actually see the outline of my chest bones.  Hand to God, I saw them.  But only when I was pushing my neck and head back to exhale.  It was fleeting, but I swear I saw them.

I'm not sure how I felt about that.  I was happy that enough of the fat layer has shrunk that you can see such things, but I also felt really strange about it.  Because I know that when I see those bones in other girls, it's only because they're pretty tiny and skinny, which means they don't have a lot of fat to begin with.  If you can see too much of anyone's bones, that can't be a good thing, right?  I know I am not sick nor starving, so to see that on ME....

Well, like I said, I'm not exactly sure how to feel about it.  Or maybe - just maybe - I am FINALLY able to see some muscle improvement.  Like, maybe I'm finally getting lean enough to see something else there, instead of fatty skin.  I don't know.

Small class in Bikram today, which I was ok with.  It meant I could see myself in the side mirrors, which I can't always do.  Worked hard, and I was feeling the soreness in my body from yesterday.   In fact, Tommy said that we should always feel sore right after every class.  He is so right.  If you don't feel sore, you're not working hard enough!

Food has been spot on this week.  More lean protein, lots of fresh veggies and fruit, whole grains, and you can't go wrong.

It's getting really late, so I need to take my butt off to bed now.

Work hard and give it your all, people.  You are so worth the effort.

Monday, December 17, 2012

About Personal Responsibility.

So I had to get my iPhone replaced.  The Apple store gave me a brand new one, after I had to wait 30 minutes past my appointment time.  I flagged down one of those genius peoples and he agreed to help me.  After check for water damage and declaring my phone in pristine condition, he did a preliminary test then gave me the option of getting a new phone, or leaving it there to get it serviced.  If I chose the latter option, I'd be without a phone for a few days.

No es bueno.  I chose the former.

I've decided that strength training will be my primary focus from now on.  I'm having such major body image issues with my damn loose skin that I'm going to do all I can to repair some of the damage.  I do realize, of course, that most of it can't be undone with strength training.  But heavy strength can't hurt, I guess.  I'd have to go the surgery route to completely get rid of it, which is something I am considering. I know Jen from priorfatgirl had a tummy tuck, and Sarah from weighitis had a full body tuck after she lost 200 pounds.  (Yes, really, she lost 200 freaking pounds.)  So Sarah has been talking to me about it on Twitter somewhat.

It's just something I'm considering right now.  I haven't made the firm commitment to actually go through with it.  I'm not really feeling the whole not working out for weeks, possibly months, as I go through the recovery process.  That really scares me, to be honest.  I know what not working out can lead to, and it just seems foolish to have the surgery only to gain weight back from not working out.  What's the point, then?

Just my opinion.  I'm still just ruminating and taking things under advisement.

Tonight, I warmed up with 16 minutes on the inclined treadmill, then did The Firm Super Sculpting.  Long time since I had done this DVD.  I was feeling it in my glutes and thighs from Bikram yesterday. This DVD only made it worse, or better, depending on how you look at it.  470 calories burned.

And we are back to sweaty pics, folks!

Did you miss 'em?  I did.  :-)  Hair is a hot mess, and I DO NOT CARE!  It's a sign that I worked my ass off today during my workout.

I heard something today that made me pause and think.  After what happened at an elementary school in CT on Friday, there's been a lot of talk about personal responsibility and how things could've been prevented.

When Jovan Belcher of the KC Chiefs killed his girlfriend and then committed suicide, quarterback Brady Quinn made a statement that got me thinking.  He said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that we all have a responsibility to each other.  A single person's actions - whether we know them personally or not - affects us all.

Who has not been affected by Friday's events?  It is not enough to say that whatever is going on in someone else's life is "not my business."  Or it "has nothing to do with me."

As an adult (as a person, regardless of how old you are) we all have responsibilities.  Different ones for different people, of course.  But we also have a responsibility towards each other.

Let's think about that the next time we start thinking that something or someone is not any of our business.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sunday Cinderella Duties.

Man, I am beat.

This whole day has been rainy/drizzling/miserable.  I woke up around 8, way later than usual for me.  I had some coffee before heading out to the 10 AM Bikram session.  It was a hard class, packed to the brim.  I started sweating the second I walked into the studio to put my mat down.  Sheesh.

Phone is still acting up, so no sweaty pic today.  I'm going to be forced to go to the Apple store tomorrow.  In the days leading up to Christmas.  Great.

When I got home, I had some breakfast, then scrubbed my bathroom from top to bottom.  I spent most of my afternoon in my kitchen.  Turkey veggie chili made in my crockpot, chicken noodle veggie soup in a big pot on my stove top.

Plenty of healthy lunches for the next few weeks.  :-)

2 loads of laundry, and I am done.

Nessa commented that I've been a little flat lately.  Yeah, I admit that I have been.  I'm not a fan of this time of year.  I don't like the holidays, I can't stand Christmas at all, and I just can't wait for it to be January already.  The kids make it better, of course.  Maybe if I had my own kids and my own family, I'd feel differently.  Who knows.  I'm starting to believe that won't happen.  Shrug.

I can't believe it's Monday tomorrow. Just ned to get through this work week and then I'm off all of next week til after the New Year.

Ok, wrapping this one up now.  Bed is calling me.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

WI Results.

Last week's weight:  164.6 lbs.
This week's weight:  160.2 lbs.

I lost 4.2 lbs this week!

I feel great about that, but I also feel... very mixed up.

Hard to make sense of anything, after yesterday.  One brutal thing I've had to learn the hard way - life goes on whether you want it to or not.

My nephew's little birthday party was today.  He turned a year old on Monday, so we celebrated today.  He only started walking last week.  Now he's constantly on the go.

I'd post photos here, but my damn phone is acting up again.  I'll try to put some photos up tomorrow.

Long day today spent with family, running around after kids, and trying to remember that I'm blessed and damn lucky.

I ate a late breakfast before I left, with 2 eggs, 2 slices of Ezekiel toast, 2 slices of turkey bacon, an apple, and my Green monster smoothie.  That was it before the party.  Overdid it on the pasta.  I had planned to have some of it, but not as much as I did.  Salad and roasted chicken also made it to my plate.

I've been chugging water all day, and had about 32 ounces at my brother's house.

My niece and nephew always make me smile.  I hugged them a bit tighter today when I saw them.

I took a real rest today.  Last night was 45 minutes on the treadmill.

Tomorrow will be yoga in the morning, then I'm jetting back home to clean & vacuum the place from top to bottom.

Such a damn shame, so awful.  That's all I can say about it.  We talked about it for a bit at my WW meeting this morning.  I didn't say much.  It's my tendency to keep quiet in my meetings.

Back to the grind tomorrow.

Friday, December 14, 2012

There Are No Words.

Horrible turn of events today at an elementary school in CT.

Hug your kids extra hard.  If you don't have kids, call someone you love and tell them how important they are to you.

Those poor families, ripped apart forever.

Surviving children who will never be the same again.

I got nothing.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

I Think I Am Done...

With Christmas/kids birthdays' shopping!

Thank goodness for Amazon.  I was able to get most of my stuff done through there.  At lunch today, I ran to Macy's real quick to finish up my shopping for my niece & my nephew.


Phew.  What a relief.

Now I just need to wrap them up and then I can call it a day.

Tomorrow I'm sending out the last of my Christmas cards.  Strange that this year my Christmas card list exploded.  I think last year I sent out maybe 3 total, or something like that.  All good.

My nephew's First birthday party will be Saturday.  My brother has already informed me they will be getting Italian food.  Awesome.  Tis my weakness.

Shrug.  Everything's a choice.  I'll do what I did last time.  Make sure to get my workout in, eat before I leave, and fill up on tons of water.  Stay close to the fruit plate and play with the kids.  Problem solved.

Tommy was leading the session tonight, and it was a small class.  Still sweated like a beast.  Still worked hard.

I've been noticing that in certain poses, I'm more flexible on a particular side of my body than the other.  For example, in Eagle, I can lift my left leg/foot higher onto my right thigh than vice versa.  In seated hand to knee pose, I can bend my left foot more easily into my right thigh than I can with my right foot.  I don't get it.  Shouldn't my right side be my more dominant side because I'm a righty?

Oh, Eagle... everytime I attempt you (and fail miserably) you make me hate you a little more.

Apparently, them Knicks can ball.  Hmm.

Food prep, then hitting the sack.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Hump Day.

Took the day off from work, it was a nice sunny cold day here.

I started the day off like I normally do any week day - with coffee.

Then I decided to hit the morning Bikram session with flamboyant instructor.  I did not anticipate there being so much traffic.  I got there in the nick of time.  I had enough time to put my stuff in the locker room, take my shoes off, and get into the studio.

I swear I started sweating the second I walked in.  I think the added "stress" of making it to class on time contributed to that.

Still a hard session, but I felt ok about it.  I actually was able to hold Standing Bow Pulling pose for a full minute, which has NEVER happened before.  That's one of my favorite postures, outside of savasana (corpse pose.)  Hehe.

Super curly hair comes with tons of sweat.

Mom's appointment went well.  Her blood pressure went back to normal, thank goodness.

I got the kids the rest of their birthday/Christmas presents and did some laundry.  My nephew turned a year old 2 days ago, and his little party will be Saturday.  I got him cute little winter clothes, a warm coat, toys, and some shoes.  I'm going to split up some of the gifts for Christmas, of course.

And that is pretty much how I spent Hump Day.  Exciting things, I know.  ;-)

Upping protein has gone well, so far.  I've added an extra egg white with my hard boiled egg & Fage yogurt in the morning, and an extra ounce of lean protein with lunch & dinner.  If I have a slice of toast with breakfast, I'll spread some Trader Joe's natural crunchy peanut butter on it, just a tablespoon.

Back to work tomorrow.

Tuesday Recap.

Jewlz, Renee - thank you for your comments!  I really did appreciate them, I mean that.  :-)

You two have started the wheels spinning in my head, and that's a good thing.  I needed to hear it.

And yes, Jewlz, I took it in the spirit in which it was meant.  I'm good with that.  You do have a good point, and yeah, I really do need to get the heck over myself.

How do I do that is the question.

I'm an admitted homebody.  And I know of course that if I ever want to meet someone, THAT will have to change.  Drastically.

Renee, I actually did set up a profile on Match, then haven't done anything with it, which totally defeats the purpose, I know.

I know, I know - doing things that make me uncomfortable is growth.

I will do something about Match, I just don't think it's appropriate to blog about.  Some things I like to keep private, like any other blogger.  That's why I never mentioned that I had even signed up for it.

I don't expect all my problems to magically dissolve into nothing when I hit goal.  A lot of people expect that, and then when it doesn't happen - they gain their weight back.

I certainly don't want.  At all.  And I'd like to think I'm prepared enough to prevent that from happening.

I got this. Right, Jewlz?  :-)

Did a 45 minute leg workout.  Squats, high step ups using my 14 inch step, leg press using the same tool, calf raises, lunges, dips, side lunges and some plyo moves to get my heart rate up.  Speed rope intervals, calf pumps, and jogging in place.  I burned 322 calories.

 My hair, and the rest of me, is a hot mess.

Don't hate, you all know you want your hair to look like that too.  ;-)

I took Weds. off from work.  Mom has a Dr appointment at a weird time of day, and I have all this vacation time I haven't used yet, so I figured, why not take a day.

More later.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Sunday/Monday Recap.

Yesterday I went & met my BFF for coffee.

It was foggy, rainy, and just a crappy kind of day.  I sooo did not feel like being social nor leaving my house.

I briefly thought of trying to make up an excuse to get out of it, but then she texted that she couldn't wait for our little get together.


Instead of just sucking it up & putting a smile on my face & being happy that I'm lucky to have a BFF like her, I pissed & moaned like a little beotch the entire time I was getting ready about having to actually leave the house at all.  Real mature.

I tried to be social, but I just so was not into it.  It helped that she's a chatterbox (we are SO different in that way) while I pretty much kept what I said to a minimum.  I just kept thinking about other things - things I could've & should've been doing at home, like cleaning, meal prepping, tidying up, etc.  This is & will sound awful - I just kept thinking what a waste of time this was when I could've been doing more constructive & productive things.

WTF is wrong with me?

As for this time of year - I freaking hate it.  I can't wait to get the holidays over with.  BFF loves Christmas.  I'd rather it be done & over with already.  She seemed a little surprised by that.  We have met before, right?  She also seemed surprised when I told her I can't wait for this year to end because it's been so awful lately - especially the last 6 weeks since Sandy.

She was like, "But Kelly, I think you've had a really great year!  Look at all the great things that have happened to you this year!"

Huh?  What's been so great about it?

"Well, you did buy your place and move out.   That was huge.  And you've lost all this weight!"

I feel really weird talking to her about anything weight loss related.  She's a size 4, up from a 2.

I don't know why it is so hard for me to be social.  I've lost weight and have managed to shrink even further into myself.  I thought it was supposed to get easier.  Even a little bit easier.

I'm a horrible friend.  And ungrateful too, apparently.  I can't even recognize what I have.  SMH.

Tonight was supposed to be heavy lower body.  I even wrote out a circuit/workout plan for myself, but when I got home from work, I just was NOT feeling it.

I struggled to find it tonight.  Whatever it was.  I just didn't want to.

I mustered up enough mental strength to call bullshit on myself and pelted out 33 minutes on the inclined treadmill.  Just something, anything to get some activity in.  258 calories burned, clenched teeth and everything.

Half assed attempt at a lame smile.  Shrug.  Workout was done.  At least I did it.

Tomorrow will be different.  Tomorrow I must do legs.  Grrr.

Maybe tomorrow will just a little easier.

Upper Body Circuit.

I made up my own upper body circuit today with some help from the interwebz.

I didn't feel like doing a Firm DVD since that gets boring and repetitive after a while.  I warmed up on the inclined treadmill for 16 minutes, then decided to go as heavy as I could go with the weights.

My focus today was on chest, shoulders and back.  This I just kind of made up as I went along, so I'm going to say in advance it was a bit scattered, but still very effective.  I know I worked hard.

I did seated good mornings with my 15s for 3 sets of 12 reps.  These just reminded me of hover squats, but they really work your lower back as well.

5 sets of modified pushups at 16 reps.

3 sets, 12 reps on both sides of lat rows using my 20s (Ow, these will haunt me in the next 4 hours.)

Planks with rows using my 10s for 3 sets of 12 reps.  These were freaking hard!

Standing upright rows with my 15s for 3 sets.  I actually couldn't believe I could go this heavy - and yes, using my 15s for upright rows is heavy for me.

4 sets of bench press with my 20s, 10 reps.  I almost CRIED when I found myself doing these.  Tears of joy because I NEVER thought I'd be able to lift that heavy.  Yes, that is heavy for me.  First time I was able to do this in my life.

Standing overhead press with my 10s, 4 sets of 12 reps.

My back, shoulders and biceps are fried!  I kinda love it.

Holy hell, I'm in sweet pain right now.

I have to start progressing more with my strength training.  Today I read about 80% of The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno.  I find that I pretty much eat this way anyway, the exceptions are I use half & half in my coffee with some brown sugar, which are big no-nos.  Other than that, I'm pretty spot on with this.  And low fat cheese is allowed too!  Hee hee.

Tonight will be a killer leg workout.  Hope I don't look like a complete tool walking around tomorrow.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

WI Results.

It was ugly.  Just like I said it would be.  F*@ck me.

Previous weight:       156.2 lbs.
This week's weight:  164.6 lbs.

Gained 8.4 lbs.


It's not enough that I'm pissed as hell at myself.

Why is it the same damn 10 lbs. over & over again?

This is what I need - MUST - figure out.  Before it becomes 15 lbs or 20 lbs.

Or more.

Because the fear of gaining ALL the weight back is always going to be there.  Sometimes it's not so present, but it's there.  Dormant, but not dead.

I know I'll get rid of this excess 8 pounds.  I know I will.

If you used to binge eat on cupcakes/bakery goods, would you drive to your favorite bakery, then sit in the parking lot, staring at it for hours?  Someone wrote about that.  Apparently, the person sometimes fantasizes about a binge and how good all that crap food would taste while eating it.

I don't understand that.  I'm a binge eater, and I can tell you right now with the God's honest truth, that I don't daydream about a binge.  Are there times when I think about how I'd like to have some chips?  Yup - but do I fantasize about it?  Nope - and if I do think about it, I remember all the gross, disgusting feelings I have after it's over.

And I certainly don't drive past my old junk food haunts and just sit there & stare at it.  What would be the point of tormenting myself like that?

I make a point of not going anywhere near the snack aisle in the supermarket.  I have to pass it to get to other areas of the store, of course, but I certainly don't stand in front of it and just "soak" it all in. 

That'll just make me want to buy that shit.

They rolled out the new Weight Watchers 360 program today.  Meh.  I don't have any initial thoughts on it just yet.  I didn't stay for the whole meeting since I needed to get to Bikram on time.

I'll read through the materials at some point.

Bikram was a hard class for me today.  Maybe I needed it to be hard.  Good thing.

Lots of sweat.

I must start eating cleaner.  I have the Tosca Reno book.  I've flipped through it, and it looks interesting.  Of course I need to read it thoroughly and gauge how I'll be able to fit it - at least most of it - into my normal eating routine.

I'd like to get rid of these 8 pounds as quickly as possible - by the beginning of the year, preferably.  If that doesn't happen, and it takes me longer than 3 weeks, then as long as I lose it, I'll be ok with that.

Lower body felt and does feel very sore today.  Especially my inner thighs and glutes.  Squatting with the heavier weights made a big difference.

Think tomorrow will be some cardio & lots of heavy upper body.   I need to also work on my lower back & get rid of those damn love handles already.  Grr.

I can do this.  Watch me own it.

Some Firsts.

Tonight, for the first time, I was able to lift my 15s consistently.  That's never happened before.

For the first time, I actually squatted 4 full sets with my 20s - consistently and with NO trouble.  Never happened before.

I did leg presses with my 20s for 1 full set.  Never been able to do that before.

First time for everything.

I hammer curled with my 15s.  Upright rows with the same weights too.  FIRST TIME.

Good Lord, I will be in pain tomorrow.  25 minutes inclined treadmill, then The Firm Tough Tape with Tracie Long.  Full body strength today since I wasn't really feeling it in my lower body from last night. 510 calories burned and shredded.

WI tomorrow morning, then Bikram right after.

WI will not be pretty.  I can feel it already, and I had a sneak preview on my home scale this morning.

F*@ck me.

Gonna face it anyway.  I can't bitch out on a WI.  ESPECIALLY if I know it's gonna suck.

I did learn something tonight from all these firsts.



Thursday, December 6, 2012

About This Morning...

Umm, it didn't happen.  I am just not a morning person.  At all.

I get my biggest spurt of energy in the mid afternoon/evening.  So to make up for not getting my lazy arse out of bed, I packed a "gym bag" and decided to get in something at work, during lunch.

I ate lunch at my desk, let it settle, then went into the empty office to change & do some kind of activity.  I got in a quick 20 minute workout. Core, plyo squats, skaters, modified push ups, lunges & crunches.  I actually worked up a sweat.

But 20 minutes - no matter how effective or how hard I worked - wasn't enough.  Not today.  So when I got home, I decided to do legs.  I found a lower body workout from Shape Magazine that looked interesting.  It was 20 moves, but I didn't do all of them.  I included some of my own.  Tonight was plie squats, standing side leg lifts, plyo roundhouse kicks, leg press, heavy squats, side lunges, curtsy dips, summo lunges, and high step ups.

I didn't do the treadmill, so I alternated speed rope intervals, calf pumps, knee repeaters, cross-country ski moves, & jogging in place.  A 35 minute workout that got me sweating & burned 253 calories.

I'm upping my protein intake just a bit, just to include an extra egg white & Fage yogurt with breakfast.

We'll see how it goes.

And I'm going to start alternating splits when I do strength, which I haven't been doing at all.  Most times I just do full body strength to get the work done.  So upper body one day, lower body the next, Bikram & HIIT cardio in between.

Bed time, folks.  :-)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Let's See...

If I can get up at the butt crack of dawn and ACTUALLY roll my sorry arse out of bed to get to working out.

That is the plan right now.  Wake up, get up, and get to the work out around 6:15-6:30ish.

Have I mentioned I am so NOT a morning person and therefore am already loathing this?


Well, suck it up, buttercup.  It's an experiment, after all.  What if I get really great results?

What if I feel spectacular throughout the day?  Not to mention getting it done & out of the way.  #WIN.

Bikram session tonight with flamboyant instructor.  He's great.  Normally, Bikram instructors don't demonstrate the postures, but he will from time to time.  Probably to break up the monotony of just talking & talking.

Nice, deep full body stretching.  90 minutes for me.  To focus on me.  Can't get better than that.  Well, I could win the Lottery or something, but meh.

I have to look at morning workouts - ANY workout, for that matter - as time for me.  MY time.  Because that's what it is.  Doing something great for me, and taking the time out of the busy, crazy day to focus on just me.

Lift some heavy shit & sweat like a mofo.  Sweat like a beast.


I'm thinking of getting in a good, solid 45 minutes tomorrow.  At least that, and if I feel good, I'll push it to an hour.

Laying out the workout gear & equipment now.  Then bed soon.  That's a must since I'll be up with the roosters or cows or whatever the saying is.

Coffee - strong coffee - will be needed.  Possibly by the quart.  :-)

How do you morning workout peoples do it?  I'm being serious.

I wanna know.

Umm - SOA last night.  Otto don't mess around.  And even though Tig is some kind of freak, it warmed my heart to see him so outraged at what was going on with the dogs.  How cute was he with that pitbull that is apparently the MC's new mascot/clubhouse pet?

You can tell a lot about someone with how they are with animals - especially dogs.  Tig is a freak, but he's good people in my book.  :-)  Dog people are good people.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


At work, I completed a plank, 100 crunches, 100 non-weighted side bends, 100 weighted side bends, and 32 modified push ups.

I headed to Bikram, prepared to work.

It was 90 minutes for me.  To get rid of not only physical toxins, but mental ones as well.

I swear - I was sweating Crisco from my ankles.  I'm not kidding.

I'll never give up.  Even when that thought crosses my mind, I'll never give up.  NEVER.

I'll also never blow smoke up anyone's ass.  I'll never pretend to be perfect.  Or to have all the answers.  Because I don't.  I've got my issues, plenty of them.  You don't reach 271 pounds without having them.  Trust me on that one.

I've Been Slacking.

I admit it.  I've been slacking.

I've gotten way too comfortable with my progress so far.

I felt and do feel really proud of being a big size 8/small size 10 for a while now.

I love that I don't have to shop in Lane Bryant or Cacique or whatever those stores are called.

And last night, I changed into the workout gear, got out my weights and equipment....

and nothing.

No workout.

Just didn't feel like it.  Like a complete moron.

I sat down and thought about what the fuck it is I'm doing.  Here's a snippet of  what went through my mind.  Shudder.

Am I done?  Is this as "small" as I'm ever going to get?

Do I really want to be THAT blogger that keeps losing & gaining & losing the same 10 lbs or more? That's the category I'm falling into.  The one that never gets to goal?  Or worse, the one that gets to goal, gets all smug about it & tries to make a living from it, only to gain back like 50 lbs?

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.  I will NOT be that person.  I will NEVER be that person.  I REFUSE.

There's something about reaching 150 lbs that is freaking me out.  In much the same way that hitting 199 freaked me out.  And I'm starting to panic.

I need to change something.  SOMETHING.

And I don't know what is - yet. Or rather, I think I know what it is, but I'm not sure that it's this necessarily - a change in my routine.  And I have to stop patting myself on the back.

Right now, I've been working out in the evenings, after work.

I think I need to switch it up a few days a week and get it done in the mornings.  Before work.  Which means waking up, immediately getting out of bed, and getting shit done.

Tonight & tomorrow night, I'm going to Bikram.  There's a hot Vinyasa class on Saturday afternoons that I'm going to try out this week.  Which means Thursday & Friday morning, I'll be working out.

I'm also going to work at upping the weights.  Going heavy for me is using my 20s to lift and squat.  HIIT & heavy strength from now on.  I'm getting bored with my treadmill.  I'll use it every now & then for sprints though.

I'm not waiting until next year.  That's just bullshit.

When all is said & done, I could be in a much worse spot than I am in now.

I could also be better.

I will not be the person that just keeps on harping about past success.  That won't get me to goal.  Which is in the 135-140 lbs. range.  For now.

Put up or shut the fuck up.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Sleeping "In" on a Sunday.

I had planned to get my sorry ass to the 8Am Bikram session with sexy instructor.

I woke up at 7:45 AM.

That's sleeping in for me.  I'm normally up before the sun.

Shrug.  No biggie.

Got to the 10 AM session in plenty of time after coffee.  It was packed, and it was a great class.  I hadn't gone in almost a week, and I felt it.  I felt rusty. I'm going to make more of an effort to go to Bikram 3 days a week from now on.  Weather permitting, of course.

I feel like I sweated more than usual today.

Dayum.  I was poring funkiness - and you know what?  I freaking loved it~

So the Jets game today.  Interesting.  Looks like my boy lost his job.  We done have ourselves a new QB - or so it would seem.  Can't wait to see how this one plays out.  I think the game gave me heartburn.  Or a migraine.  Possibly both.  Ugly win, but a win nevertheless.

Hmm.  Walking Dead.  Let's just say that Herschel better not die, if them writers know what's good for 'em.  If anyone has to go, for God's sake let it be Andrea.

I've already seen the episode.  No spoilers, I promis.  But  - WOW.  Shit just got real, yo.

Bed is calling.  Monday & work tomorrow.


Saturday, December 1, 2012


Today is my niece's birthday.  She is 4 years old.

I can't believe it.  Where did the time go?

The birthday girl, holding the Lightning McQueen plush blanket I gave her.  That was one of her many, many presents she received today.

I was up early to get in a quick workout.  Something I just made up in my head.  3 minute warm up consisting of jogging in place, skaters, and jump rope (without the jump rope, of course.)  Then I did a 40 minute workout of heavy full body strength.  Squats, lunges, dips, lat rows, upright rows, modified push ups, side lunges, plie squats, hammer curls, clean & press, pec flys, delt lifts, and military press.  Some of the moves I combined, like squat & press, and dips with upright rows.  Then I fished out my old Abs of Steel VHS tape from the 80s.  I completed the Level 1 workout (barely).  Now my entire body is on fire.

I was sweating during my warm up, no joke.

The party was good.  I stuck close to the crudite (is that the way you spell it) and the fruit platter.  I had salad, roast chicken, and a forkful of lamb.  I never eat lamb.  I had planned for one bite of birthday cake and instantly regretted it.   It wasn't even that good.  Way too rich, way too sugary.

Great day with family.  I loved every second of it.  Especially my baby.

I can't believe she's 4.  Seems like just yesterday I was holding her for the first time and she fit in the crook of my arm.

Another great thing about today?  My SIL's friend, whom I hadn't seen since my niece's birthday last year, remarked upon seeing me: "Kelly!  You're so tiny!"

Big smile.

Awesome.   :-)