Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Just Keep Chipping Away.

Holly is one of my favorite people, favorite ladies, favorite bloggers.  Talk about a strong lady.

I've been complaining & whining ad nauseum about stupid crap in my life lately, and I've spent way too much time feeling and being angry.

That's not a way to live.  When you're like that, you're not living.  You're existing.

You're wasting your life.

And for what?  What's the point of that?

I don't have a legit reason to be angry.  Holly did, and she choose to fight for and find her happiness instead. Read up on her story and you'll understand what I mean when I say that.

Just keep chipping away.  Decluttering.  Anyone that has a significant amount of weight to lose, you know where I'm coming from with that.

Sometimes, that's all we can do.  Just keep chipping away at the extra weight.  Declutter the negativity that we feel about ourselves that we then project onto other people.

Like the damn walls we I put up. (Like when I was unforgivably rude to my best friend in the whole world who has only ever loved me and only ever seen me as "Kelly" and not as her fat friend. Not as the rest of the world always saw me.  Not as how I always saw me.)

I'm going to keep chipping away.  Decluttering.  Working hard and chipping away at all the barriers and finding whatever it is that I need to find.

I also need to chip away at my own bullshit meter.  For real.  Keeping the BS around ain't helping me, nor is it doing me any favors.  It is hindering my progress.  Hence the reason why I've been stuck for several months now.  I've actually been believing my own BS.  Shudder.

Like when I say - and have said - that my body seems to like these last 10 pounds I lose & regain - BS!!!  Oh my Lord, I can't believe I actually allowed myself to believe that nonsense.  My happy weight is not 150-160.

My happy weight is my goal weight, which right now is set at 142. A 2 or 3 pound flucuation below or above that is ok with me. For now.  I'd be at a healthy weight and have a normal BMI for my height at 142 pounds.

Full disclosure: I read on another blog about "goal weights" and how the blogger thinks it's impossible that they will ever reach their particular goal weight.  I suffered from that disbelief myself.  For a very long time.

Which is exactly why I've been stuck. Other than believing my own nonsense, of course.

Why set yourself up for immediate "failure" by choosing not to believe in yourself?

Why was I so afraid of success?  Of successful weight loss?  I should be embracing it! Not believing it's impossible.  That's just silly otherwise, because then why am I trying to lose weight if I think I'll never get there?

Just silly.

It is NOT impossible.  Of course it is not.

So chipping away at the scale, one single pound at a time.

Living and practicing healthy habits.  Going back to what works.

Like sweaty pics!


Bikram tonight, and it felt a little easier than yesterday.

Tracking my food intake, eating well, and reaching out to the people that I care about.

All things I have done today.

And I am feeling lighter already.  :-)

12 comments:

  1. I'm so glad to hear this! You have seemed down for some time, and I hope that now you will find the positive, reach your goal weight, and BE HAPPY! You deserve all of it!

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  2. sexy sweaty pics!! I don't know what blog your talking of but I do not expect to ever hit my "goal" weight for my height. I am totally ok with that though. :) Good for you for realizing you are not and that you want to keep fighting.

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  3. "Chipping away" is a good way to put it. I am always saying we need to be consistent and stay with our plan without too many breaks for junk and the like. Just look at the progress you've made one day at a time. Amazing!

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  4. Glad to hear you're starting to feel better. You mood seems a bit lighter too. You've got the right attitude Kelly. Living and practicing the healthy habits like you've been doing is what will take those final pounds off. Keep believing.

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  5. Glad to hear you're starting to feel better. You mood seems a bit lighter too. You've got the right attitude Kelly. Living and practicing the healthy habits like you've been doing is what will take those final pounds off. Keep believing.

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  6. i heart you Kelly! You're an amazing woman and we all love you!! :)

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  7. At one time my goal weight was 70 pounds away and it seemed impossible. Now it is 40 pounds away and just getting closer, day by day, chipping away :).

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  8. Whew! I'm not you, but it seems like you cleared your own personal-air and got a lot off your chest in this post. And I ain't talkin' about boobies.

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  9. Look at you girl! I have missed you!! But I am back and need to catch up on your blog!!! Yaaay!!!!

    Jennifer

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  10. It is like decluttering. So awesome!

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  11. Now THIS is Kelly. Glad to have you back!

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