I'll let you guys in on a lil somethin' somethin.
Sometimes, every once in a while, I get so frustrated with this whole damn weight loss thingy, that I just burst into tears.
Not in a 2-year-old-baby tantrum kind of tears.
Not in a cry-so-hard-that-you-start-hicupping-gasping-for-breath kinda of tears.
Just tears. Tearing.
I quickly wipe them away and talk myself down. Now, I'm a smart chick, mkay. (At least, I'd like to think I am.) And I know that pissing, moaning, & crying about it won't get the weight off any faster.
This 7 month plateau has been trying. And this morning, the scale was a bit less of a douchebag than it was last week. It still did not show a number that would've satisfied me, but it was slightly - only SLIGHTLY - less than it was last Saturday.
Ok, yeah, the scale is just an asshole and I should quit obsessing over the fucking thing (blah blah blah), but man - could it maybe stop being this much of an asshole already?
Speaking of crying because we totally were (see what I did there?), after tonight's Bootcamp, I totally felt the frustration bubble up again. I still can't do a full, normal push up on my toes. I still have to do them on my knees. When I tried to do a full push up from my toes with my hands on the Bosu, my chest moved down maybe an inch. If that. Even though my arms look ripped, I'm still not as strong as it would take to get my chest all the way down to the floor.
Oh, and then he spent the last 5 minutes of class doing strictly abs.
My absolute worst body part/muscle. It was awful. And the frustration surfaced.
Briefly. I think that part of my frustration is that I'm not getting the kind of results I was expecting with this Bootcamp. Almost 2 weeks in and I'm disappointed.
A 0.2 lbs loss in my first week of Bootcamp? Yes, I was disappointed. Extremely.
I need to give it more than 2 weeks, I know that, and yet, I can't shake this disappointment.
361 calories burned tonight.
I have a very, shocked, WTF-just-happened-to-me kinda look going on here, don't I?
It was quite a workout, I'll give him that. But those last 5 minutes pretty much killed me.
Stupid core work.
Well, it's gotta be done, right.
Most days, I'm fine. I don't focus on my frustration or disappointment, and I'm good.
Other days, not so much. Especially the day before WI.
One silver lining? I had no desire to go to the fridge and seek out an old, former comfort. There's nothing in there that would qualify as comfort food, anyway.
We'll see what happens tomorrow. I know I will show a loss, but how much of one is yet TBD.
Just gotta keep on keepin' on. Chin up & suck it, buttercup.