Sometimes, every once in a while, I get so frustrated with this whole damn weight loss thingy, that I just burst into tears.
Not in a 2-year-old-baby tantrum kind of tears.
Not in a cry-so-hard-that-you-start-hicupping-gasping-for-breath kinda of tears.
Just tears. Tearing.
I quickly wipe them away and talk myself down. Now, I'm a smart chick, mkay. (At least, I'd like to think I am.) And I know that pissing, moaning, & crying about it won't get the weight off any faster.
This 7 month plateau has been trying. And this morning, the scale was a bit less of a douchebag than it was last week. It still did not show a number that would've satisfied me, but it was slightly - only SLIGHTLY - less than it was last Saturday.
Ok, yeah, the scale is just an asshole and I should quit obsessing over the fucking thing (blah blah blah), but man - could it maybe stop being this much of an asshole already?
Speaking of crying because we totally were (see what I did there?), after tonight's Bootcamp, I totally felt the frustration bubble up again. I still can't do a full, normal push up on my toes. I still have to do them on my knees. When I tried to do a full push up from my toes with my hands on the Bosu, my chest moved down maybe an inch. If that. Even though my arms look ripped, I'm still not as strong as it would take to get my chest all the way down to the floor.
Oh, and then he spent the last 5 minutes of class doing strictly abs.
My absolute worst body part/muscle. It was awful. And the frustration surfaced.
Briefly. I think that part of my frustration is that I'm not getting the kind of results I was expecting with this Bootcamp. Almost 2 weeks in and I'm disappointed.
A 0.2 lbs loss in my first week of Bootcamp? Yes, I was disappointed. Extremely.
I need to give it more than 2 weeks, I know that, and yet, I can't shake this disappointment.
361 calories burned tonight.
I have a very, shocked, WTF-just-happened-to-me kinda look going on here, don't I?
It was quite a workout, I'll give him that. But those last 5 minutes pretty much killed me.
Stupid core work.
Well, it's gotta be done, right.
Most days, I'm fine. I don't focus on my frustration or disappointment, and I'm good.
Other days, not so much. Especially the day before WI.
One silver lining? I had no desire to go to the fridge and seek out an old, former comfort. There's nothing in there that would qualify as comfort food, anyway.
We'll see what happens tomorrow. I know I will show a loss, but how much of one is yet TBD.
Just gotta keep on keepin' on. Chin up & suck it, buttercup.
I'm sorry to hear your frustrations--we all have them. But I'm wondering if you've taken your measurements since starting Bootcamp? What doesn't show up on the scale may show up on the measuring tape.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... your workouts and food are solid. Your attitude is solid. I'm wondering what is holding you back? Have you ever done one of those monitors like a BodyBugg that tells your whole day average burn? I really am thinking your issue is you need to up your food intake cals and just see what happens. A friend of mine (on another site) was the same. She's been plateaued for nearly 8mos. At that point, she sorta said screw it and massively upped her cals. In her first week, she lost 4lbs. FOUR FREAKIN POUNDS! Her trainer laughed and said, 'Told ya so!' because he had told her that as clean as she was eating and as hard as she was working, her body just wasn't taking in enough calories to let go of fat easily and it was hording it like a Doomsday Prepper! I know you've heard it before, but why not give it a go? I mean, you're talking a couple of weeks of upping cals and seeing what happens. You may go up the first week since your body may be in shock or you may drop a ton. Just couldn't hurt to experiment at this point. You've already added some and are seeing little movements, why not add a bit more and see what happens? All it would take is maybe a handful of nuts or a square of chocolate (dark), or just a few extra slices of avocado. Either way, I'm excited for you that you're seeing movement. I'm sorry that's it's little, but it's still something. You'll get through this one way or another!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry ((hugs)) Time for a mental pep talk and hot shower/bath and you will be good to go.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jewlz, I know how scary it is to up calories, my trainer told me the same thing and I did not want to do it. I read Jillian Michaels Master your Metabolism and she talks about how now that she eats completely clean that she typically eats almost 2000 calories a day and only works out 3 days a week and maintains her weight loss. I'm not saying to eat 2000 calories, but she has a point, that when we put good calories in our body and we are working out, it might help.
ReplyDeleteI also would recommend the Bodybugg, I used it for a few months during my weight loss journey and it was awesome, I could see every minute of the day how many calories I was burning. I loved it.
I just think of how far you've come and how great you look! Plateaus SUCK. They do. I get it. But hang in there, girl. You have SO GOT THIS!
ReplyDeleteSarah
www.thinfluenced.com
What about inches??? I'm sure you have lots a few inches from boot camp?
ReplyDelete