Thank you all for your comments and your support. I cannot find the proper words to express my gratitude to you all!
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head lately as I adjust to this new part of my life. Things I'd like to get off my chest.
First thing: I think I've given the misconception that I hate my body. That is false. I do not hate my body. I think I did, at one point at the height of my obesity, but when I think back on it, what I truly hated was the fact that I did this to my body.
It's no secret I am not a fan of my loose skin, but I've said this before, and I will say it here again: I'd MUCH rather have 10 pounds or so of loose skin, than 120+ pounds of fat and lard on my body.
I am grateful for this body, this one body that I have. I've put it through hell and back, but in the end, it has remained resilient. And strong. Just look at the arms if ya'll don't believe me! ;-)
I am so grateful to everyone who has supported me on my weight loss journey, more than you will ever know. I'm even ok with the not-so-supportive people, because it reminds me how lucky I have been to have the support I've had. That it's an unfortunate reality is neither here nor there - it's just reality. People will want to see you succeed, and some people will want to watch you fail. Eh.
I've also been thinking about something I said last week, about how you should write your own story and not try to emulate anyone else's. That is easier said than done, I know. Believe me, I know. Here is how I have had to think about it:
There's always someone out there wishing they could be in your shoes. Be aware of that, and be aware that what you view as your failures is someone else's success.
I'm also learning to appreciate what I have now. This is something I should've learned a looong time ago. I'm lucky for what I have - and NO, I do NOT want what anyone else has. I have fought tooth and nail to have this, all this. All the ups & downs - it's just been so worth it. I want what I have now, and I want what I know I will have in the future. You must act, think and feel as if you already have what you want.
Next Saturday is my first official WI since making Lifetime. I went to my meeting but didn't weigh in, and now I'm regretting that. I'll make it right next week, and I'm confident that it'll be a great WI.
Thank you all again. Sharing that pic was hard, but in the end, it was not the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's just one more step, of many more, in this journey.