Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Enigma.

I was dragging today.  D-R-A-G-G-I-N-G.

Good Lawdy, it was a rough afternoon.  You know when you're so busy/tired, that you actually feel yourself dozing off as you work/type/print/do all the things?

That was the latter part of my day.  And yet, I was in a great mood.

Don't ask, I don't even know myself.  I'm an enigma.  ;-)

There are times when I can't figure myself out.  For myself.

Make sense?  There are also times when I think I'll ever be able to figure people out.  Period.

I embrace being an enigma.  I do the unexpected, say the unexpected, think the unexpected.  "God, that is so unlike you, Kel!"  This be something I hear a lot now.  Every now and then, I like to keep people on their toes.

It is no coincidence that this coincides with my weight loss so far.  Doing different things, thinking differently, being an enigma are all outside the box kind of things.   Things you do when you have a tad bit more confidence, or a twinge of why-the-heck-notness.

Bootcamp doesn't quite fall into that category.  I'm not sure which category it falls under.  Torture? Delirium?  Those are all possibilities.  I phoned it in today.  I was just worn out by the time it came to do Bootcamp.


I need to add seeing Yosemite National Park and swimming in the Pacific Ocean to that list.  :-)

Draz - I'm scared of doing anything drastic to my hair.  I feel like it'll fall out or turn green or  something.  I thought about highlights, but I'm too chicken.  I don't rule it out tho.  At some point, those white hairs will be coming in pretty fierce.  More so than they have already.  Sigh.

And I'm still worn out, so I'm going to read in bed for a few.  Tammy, I haven't gotten to the Last Leaf yet, but it is in the collection of stories I have.  I'll let ya know.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Lists.

I am a list maker.  I love making lists!

Grocery lists, to-do lists, errand lists, etc.

I want to make a goal list of the top things to do in my life.  I don't have a specific number yet as I'll be adding to the list whenever something cool strikes my fancy.

1.  Meet and marry my future husband.

2.  Have a baby.

3.  Hit goal.  Done!

4.  Find my happy.

5.  Be featured in a magazine.  ;-)

6.  Bench press my body weight.

7.  Do 20 full form push ups.  In a row.

8.  See the pyramids in Egypt.

9.  Go canoeing or kayaking.

10.  Complete my thesis.

11.  Get skin removal surgery.

12.  Try a different fitness class, like Pilates or PiYo.

13.  Get a massage.

14.  Keep up my reading hobby.

15.  Visit more of the US, especially the Deep South.  :-)

16.  Cook something from Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child.

I don't want to call this a bucket list, it's just stuff I'd like to do.  This is all I've come up with.  For now.

Bootcamp, etc., clean/Paleo eating tonight.  I did make an appointment with an oral surgeon for a preliminary consultation.  I was lucky enough to get an appointment at all.  I'll be going end of August.  So maybe sometime in September/October I'll be able to have this procedure.  I just need to get it done and over with.

In other news, I am so enjoying O. Henry.
 His short stories are nothing like Hemingway's, that's for sure.  I do love Hemingway.

Who else loves making lists as much as I do?  :-)

Monday, July 29, 2013

About Hitting Goal.

Thank you all for the well wishes, comments, texts, and FB messages!  I read them all, and appreciate them all.

It's been a surreal time for me now.  I'm enjoying it, I'm loving it, and inherently I know the work is not done.

Not by a long shot.

When you lose a ton of weight, especially if you're the person that did NOT lose 100 pounds in a year, you want to feel....accomplished.  Like, wow, I did this.  I still can't believe it I did it sometimes.

120+ pounds?  That's crazy.  That's an impossibly thin supermodel!

I do feel accomplished, I feel great.  I feel happy, I feel content.  I also feel oddly strange.  I can't explain it.  Maybe it's because being at goal officially is still so new to me.

I'm not sure if I explained all that correctly or sufficiently enough.  It truly has been a mixture of emotions.

Onto other things.  Yesterday, I did my own workout, walking 2 miles around my complex, then weighted lower body.  During lunges, I tweaked my right knee.  It feels odd, but there is no pain.  I stopped the weights immediately and just did kicks.  Roundhouse kicks, front & back kicks, and side kicks.  The knee feels ok today.  I didn't really feel it except maybe once or twice.

Bootcamp was interesting today.  Lots of cardio with upper and lower body weight work.  Lunges were included, and the knee felt fine.  So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was nothing major.

Bonus:  I performed 99% of the pushups on my toes, not on my knees.   :-)


In other news, I really have to get my wisdom teeth taken out.  They're starting to cause some discomfort now, and I can no longer ignore it.  So onto call the surgeon tomorrow and set things in motion.  The sooner the better, but of course it depends on appointment availability.

Onward & forward.


Saturday, July 27, 2013

GOAL!!

It's official!!!

146 lbs right on the dot!

I can't even believe it.  I seriously had NO idea it would officially happen today. WHOA.  Just whoa.

Pat, the receptionist who's been weighing me in every single week since I began WW in 2007 got up and gave me a hug.  As did my new leader, Elyse.

I'm sorry to say that I didn't ask to take pictures with them.  I'm such an airhead sometimes.  Next week!

Pat gave me this awesome new Weight Watchers hardware.

Holy hell, I'm at goal.  Feels awesome.


Elyse told me I should add about 6 PP a day to my food intake.  I've been doing that for a while now, so I'm not going to change things in that respect.  Just going to keep doing what I'm doing.

I celebrated by going to Bootcamp.  Only I would celebrate that way.  Insane.  Our Trainer was in rare form today.

"Nobody works out like we do! Not CrossFit, nobody!"

I was drenched, soaked from head to toe.  Seriously, it looked like I had just stepped out of the shower.

Something else I did to celebrate?  I went to my library, got a library card, and took out Works of Anais Nin.  :-)

BFF is away this week, but we plan on getting together when she comes back.


Thanks for all the tweets, text messages, and FB messages!  They mean a lot, and I appreciate them so much!

Time to get the hang of this.  :-)


Goal.  I'm there.  I'm at goal.  It feels great, it feels wonderful, and I feel so good.

I am fit.  I am strong.  I am healthy.

I AM NEVER EVER GOING BACK.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Quick Books Post.

Here's the outfit I wore to work today.  This shirt is the size small that I tried on last night and almost cried when it fit.

The cropped pants looked spray painted on, I know.  They're a tad tight, but whatever.  They're Old Navy, size 6P.

Here's how pretty I looked after Bootcamp tonight.   Not quite as made up.

I look like a tornado.  Or I've been through a tornado.  Or both.

Books.  OMG, I've missed books so much!

I am thoroughly enjoying O. Henry.  I love the lyrical and ironic prose of his short stories.  I cannot believe I have gone this long having never read any of his work.

Hitting the library after WI at some point tomorrow.  I made the huge mistake of stepping on the scale at Bootcamp tonight, and it put me in a mood.  We'll see.  Dumb move, I know.

Off to read.  I've really missed it.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Good.

First. I think I'm done with buying baby spinach at the farmer's market.  I found those little worms even after rinsing it 3 or 4 times.  The stubborn buggers stuck to the leaves and refused to wash out with the water.  Ick.  This weekend, I'll be hitting up BJ's (hehe) to pick up the huge bags of triple washed baby spinach.   Plus some EVOO since I'm running low on that.  Jeanette - you are so right in spending a bit more for the convenience. I don't blame ya one bit there.

Pinky - I found out that because of my Amazon/credit card points, I can get said salad spinner for free on Amazon!  Score!

16 Blessings Mom - how sweet of you to tell me that!  Please give your daughter a big hug from me.

I decided to take a mental health day from Bootcamp tonight.  Clean/Paleo eating still on par for today, no worries there.  This is how it's going to be for life.

I finished The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry and am making my way through the rest of The Best Short Stories of O. Henry.  Next up is A Cosmpolite in a Cafe.  Gift was a great little short story.  Highly recommend O. Henry - I just can't believe I've gone through my whole life never having read him before.

This week, I've been feeling extremely mushy-hormonal-lovey, (gag me) so I've been sending little messages on the social media to some of my favorite people.  I've been trying to send out some good in the Universe, which is something I know I should do everyday, not just this week because of the hormonal/mushy thing.  Just a small thank you for allowing me to know them.  Or that I'm expecting wonderful things for and from them.

I read Jeanette's quick little post tonight, and it made me frown.  Go on over and send her some love.

Do some good.   Here's my little contribution for blog world.

Lovely Jeanette - you and Chris are a beautiful couple and you will have a beautiful wedding and life together.   You deserve it.  Never let anyone tell you any different.

Make someone you rarely talk to smile today.  Or leave a comment on a blog with no or very little followers.

You'll be glad you did.  :-)

Please excuse the gag-inducing of this post.  This is the week for me to be all hormonally and stuff.  ;-)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Messages.

I think the Universe is trying to tell me something.  Or a few things, as the case may be.

1.  I really must get back into books.  All different kinds of books.  The classics, the newer ones, and the ones I never would've considered reading before.  Jeanette - I've read the entire LOTR trilogy and tried to get into The Hobbit, but The Hobbit didn't call me.  I'm totally into fantasy!

I've always been very curious about Anais Nin, but have never read any of her work.  Have you?  Recommend, don't recommend?

2.  Bootcamp is raising its already expensive prices and I'm wondering how I'll be able to swing it after my membership is up in September.  I've been seeing the trainer around my complex training other members lately.  I think the Universe is telling me that I've got to find a way to stay in Bootcamp (joy.)  So if it means going without certain things, then I have to do it. Ah.

3.  I need a salad spinner.  I've put one in my Amazon wishlist already.  That one will have to wait though.  :-)

The Universe is sending me messages all the time.  It's just that sometimes I don't like to listen to them.

Another day in the books, healthy food choices, healthy workout choices.


This morning I met a coworker at the farmer's market by our work.  (I've been on a farmer's market kick lately.)  Hence the need for the salad spinner.  Although, if I have credit card points, I could get one for free!  Hmm....

Are you listening to the messages the Universe sends you?  Open eyes, open minds.  :-)

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Hey, Kel!

Hey Kel!

Guess what?  You're what other people would call a weight loss success.  And it's ok to be proud of that.

It's ok to think of yourself as small.  Because you are.

See?

You've worked hard, but the work is never done.

Don't rest on your laurels as is the case with other weight loss bloggers.  Acknowledge your success and accept that learning new things is part of maintenance.  Heck, it's part of life!

So when you think your Bootcamp trainer is trying to kill you all, as was the case tonight, and you're cussing him out mentally, just remember that you have the figure and the shape you have now because of the last few months of his unique brand of torture.  Mkay?


Feels good, doesn't it?

Getting back into reading feels really great too, so keep the great book suggestions, so keep them coming!

Some of Hemingway's short stories are next.  I just can't get into Woolf.  I tried, I really did!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Monday Love.

So who else loves Mondays as much as I do?

*Dripping with dry sarcasm.

I started out the day thinking very positively, and then the workload ensured the end of that pretty quickly.  Talk about hectic.  But it is over now, and tomorrow will *hopefully be much better.

I've come to realize that I really should invest in one of those nifty salad spinners.  Especially now that I'm all about farmers markets and picking up local various lettuces.   And kale and baby spinach.  I just find it a nuisance to clean the leaves over and over again (I'm way too lazy for my own good, I know.)

If you have one of these nifty utensils, what do u think of them?  Jeannette, I think I already know what I'm getting you for your wedding.  :-)

Ah, Bootcamp tonight.  Pull muscle day.  My lats and shoulders will be thanking me tomorrow.



In other news, I think I may be coming down with a summer cold.  I've been pretty sneezy over the weekend and especially today.  It might have a tiny little something to do with the freezing AC in my office coupled with the radical temperature change when you step outside.  Tomorrow, I'll stop by Whole Foods in the morning before work and pick up some chicken vegetable soup for lunch.  I think I'll add a bit of water to it to stretch it out over 2 days and lower the sodium too.

It's very rare that I get sick, but I am human (all evidence to the contrary, I know.)  I'm taking some Airborne now and then I am hitting the sack.  The Death of Ivan Ilych by Tolstoy will hopefully get me asleep quicker.

P.S.  Thanks for all the book suggestions.  Hitting up the library this weekend.


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Just Being.

I'm still figuring this maintenance mode out.  Just being in maintenance mode is hard for me accept.  I believe that the best thing to do is to do just keep it simple.  Super simple.  I have this annoying habit of questioning everything and over analyzing each and every single situation in life.  Besides God forbid I should ever make things out to be uncomplicated.

If I'm honest with myself, I've probably been in maintenance mode for weeks months now.  Admitting that would be like admitting that I was wrong previously, and we all know how often rare it is that I'm wrong!

Simple things.  Like getting in a workout early on a Sunday morning so it's over and done with.  Firm Maximum Body Shaping with Tracie Long.


Simple things like hitting up the brand new farmers market that opened up today.  Here's my haul from this weekend.


Look at all the pretty colors!  Those 2 baby carrots I got for free.  I think the guy at the stand liked that I was Hispanic, because he was too.  Kale, butter lettuce, red leaf lettuce, a red onion, 2 tomatoes, a cucumber (I really should've gotten another one of these), and a green pepper.  Not pictured are the 2 dozen eggs.

Met up with the bestie for coffee after the farmer's market.  The heat wave FINALLY broke today, meaning it cooled down to a more tolerable 85.  With less humidity.

I'm still trying to finish To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf, but it is quite tedious.  Woolf is nothing like Austen or Thomas Hardy. (No one is quite like Thomas Hardy.)  Or Hemingway.

If any of you have book recommendations, send them my way.  I'm open to suggestions.  Plus it helps that I'm 2 minutes from my local library.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

No WI.

I didn't WI today, and I'm regretting it immensely.  Should've gone, didn't want to go, so I didn't.  I didn't go because I've been slacking.   On food intake and working out.  I just haven't been doing what I should be doing.  The heat wave has not helped, but in the end, it's my responsibility to get there.

And it's my responsibility to well, take responsibility and nip this in the bud.  I can enjoy being skinny without acting like a child about it.  Meaning not being so blase when it comes to maintenance.  I'm still working at this.  I'll always be working at this.

I hit our local farmer's market and picked up quite the haul!  Red leaf lettuce, 2 dozen hormone-free eggs, baby spinach, butter lettuce, and strawberries.  I should've gotten carrots and kale, but I didn't think of it til I was already halfway home.  The good news is this is Long Island, and farmer's markets are everywhere.  Tomorrow morning there are 2 others near me, so I'll be hitting those up with my list of other veggies I forgot (cherry tomatoes, cucumbers & peppers.)

Insane, intense cardio at Bootcamp this morning.  Salim keeps the temperature at a solid oven degrees (yes, oven degrees is a real temperature) at all times now, totally immune to how hot it already is outside.  My gear was completely drenched by the time the torture was over.

I'm not sure if you can tell by the pic or not.


I love the rainbow running shoes.  :-)

I've also decided on the higher range of my goal weight.  I am ok with this decision.  Sometimes I wonder how much of my body weight is loose skin.  And then I get to thinking about having plastic surgery and all these other thoughts start running through my head.  (God forbid my mind shouldn't ever be going a million miles a minute.)

I'm not ruling out surgery, it's just not something that could happen now.  But we'll see.

A respite from the heat wave is supposedly coming tomorrow.  Stay cool, folks!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Throwback Thursday.

I keep seeing this hashtag all over the internets.

My girl Brooke gave me the idea for this post earlier today.

This was December 2007.


At a friend's party.

I can't believe that was ever me.

I've come a long way, baby!

Anywho.  Anyone else feeling blah in this heat wave or is it just me?  I had a massive headache yesterday, and today I just feel blah.

Stay hydrated, people!

Seriously - how do some of you run in this oppressive heat?  I've found a new level of respect for those of you who do.  This heat is so different than Bikram yoga, in my opinion.  I sure as heck wouldn't be running laps in one of those studios.

No working out the last 2 days of being under the weather.  Tomorrow, I will force myself to go to Bootcamp.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the fruits of my labor, just enjoying being skinny.  :-)

Not much else beats that feeling.  Right, Brooke?

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Enjoying Skinny!

Super quick fly by post, since it's late.

I also don't have a whole lot to say.  Except this.

I am LOVING how I feel.

I am enjoying being skinny!

It's great being able to walk to Bootcamp in the middle of this heatwave and just be able to do so.

I worked hard for this.  No one can take it away from me.

I worked hard for those arm muscles that I get such sweet comments/compliments about.

No one can take that away from me.

I am enjoying being skinny.

NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.

Not even my Bootcamp trainer that tries his hardest to kill us in the middle of this insane heat.  Hehe.

(Dani, Leigh - how do you ladies run for miles and miles in this heat???!!?  In the afternoon???  Seriously.  I would die.)

Upper body/pull muscle work today.  My shoulders and abs will not like me tomorrow.


Day 2 of no working phones in the office.  That has been interesting.

And with that, I am off to hit the hay!

Monday, July 15, 2013

Giving Props to Success.

Leigh.

Female badass.  Runner.  Mom.  Wife.  Paleo follower.

Awesome weight loss success story!

I would be remiss if I didn't mention your success, you kind lady!  Check out her article here, and you will be glad you did.  :-)

She did it with NO excuses, following a food plan that worked for her, and incorporating running as part of her exercise routine.

You have to realize you are worth it.  You have to be ready.  You have to decide you want it.

You MUST NOT MAKE EXCUSES.

You have to ask yourself some really hard questions.  How much do you want this?

If you don't believe me, why don't you mosey on over to Leigh's blog, and ask her yourselves.

P.S.  I do want to say one thing.  I can't speak for Leigh, so this is my strictly my opinion.

I don't believe that a person needs to be so robotic or militant about food forever, but I do believe you have to be careful and very mindful of food intake forever.

Duh.  I didn't get to almost 300 pounds because I was practicing mindful, careful or intuitive eating.

That said, think I won't have a piece (tiny piece) of wedding cake at my own wedding? (if I should ever get married, that is).  Of course I will.  Once in a blue moon is not the same as every night or every day of my life.

Life is meant to be lived, not eaten!

Mad props to you, Leigh.  :-)

Please go check out her blog and check out her story, if you're not familiar with her already.  You'll be glad you did!

Bootcamp was an experience tonight.  This week we will be in the middle of another massive heatwave, so inside the building felt like it was an oven.  Awesome.

I was literally in hell.

I'm practicing my "Please God, don't let me die or pass out" expression.

Lots of intense cardio today.  In a room that felt like we were outside.

Winning.

Choose happy, choose success.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Today, I Choose Happy.

First, thanks all for the sweet, supportive comments.  They are very much appreciated!

This morning, after coffee and before the workout, I thought about how I wanted my day to go.

I tweeted, "Today I choose happy."

Apparently, I am a person that likes to tweet oblique things.

I also officially reset my ultimate goal weight to 142 pounds on the WW site.  I'm good with my decision.  I've let go of the stress and pressure.  And my gut instinct tells me it's the best decision for me.  Right now, at this moment in time, it is the best decision for me.

(Watch me now get to this magic number of 137.  We'll see.)

It was supposed to be humid and hot today, so I went out before crazy cat lady hair could settle in.  Got in a 2 mile fast paced walk, then followed it with Firm Power Sculpt with Allie del Rio.  Squats and glutes got in a great workout.


As you can see, I cannot fight off crazy cat lady hair.

Spent the rest of the day hanging out with my bro, SIL and my niece and nephew.

"Tilly Kelly, you're old!"

Out of the mouths of 4-year-olds.  Love that kid.

Happy.  I choose happy.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

WI Results.

Last week's weight:  145 lbs.
This week's weight:  148.2 lbs.

I gained 3.2 lbs. this week.

What gives?

I fear I may be putting too much pressure on myself.  I am now very seriously considering upping my ultimate weight goal to 142 lbs.  A 5 pound increase.

Will it make a difference?  Will it matter?  Why am I putting this intense pressure on myself when in actuality, I should be enjoying this time right now?

ESPECIALLY right now, when I have some really exciting things coming up in the weeks ahead. (More on that in a later post.)  So why the old behaviors.  Challenges will always be a part of life.  I cannot allow this to get the better of me.

A five pound difference.  That is all.  So here is what I am going to do about this.  I'm declaring it here and now.

Enough.  I am there.  I will be there.

You cannot keep a good woman down.  Especially when she knows what derailment looks like.

Five pounds.  Don't think any less of me.

Just think that there will be less of me in a few weeks.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Thursday Things.

I'm convinced my Bootcamp trainer is seriously trying to kill us.  Or make us pass out.  Probably kill us, though.

Every single "warm up" is 25 minutes long.  Twenty-five minutes!  That's as long as some people's workouts! (Bootcamp is helping me, Bootcamp is helping me.....)

When will work ever stop being crazy busy?  Methinks not anytime soon, unfortunately.  It is a good thing business is picking up.  What's not a good thing is the potential for me to go all looney tunes.  No bueno.

It's ok, I know how incredibly lucky I am to have a super busy job in these hard times.  Just no me gusta doing the work of 3 people.  No body would like that.

So.  Sometimes you have to just laugh at silly things.  Like youtube videos of the show Ridiculousness.  Or clips from the first season of South Park.  That Robert Smith episode is pure comedy genius.  For real.

And then you have to wander into Bootcamp to workout some frustration.  It was Leg Day - again.  This is where I got to thinking he's trying to kill us.  Plyo lunges, jump squats, squats on the Bosu ball which are intensely hard because of balance issues, pulling/pushing a weighted sled, single-leg deadlifts, and chair squats.

Send help.  Or ice packs.


I'm becoming more and more a fan of the show Chopped.  I'm getting some really great recipe ideas.  And lots of entertainment watching people attempting to make an entree out of ostrich filets, blueberry wine, goat cheese, and frissee.

In other news, when a certain Southern gentlemen/country boy says this to you, you smile:

"She work out all the time, but she's NO WHERE near as muscular as you, babe."

Love.  :-)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Note to Self.

Dear Self,

It's ok to not be perfect all the time.   No one is perfect.

And you will not have all the answers.  Unless you are Einstein.  Or Hawking.  Which you are not.

You are human.

You are still adjusting to your new, healthy figure.

It will take time.

Enjoy this time.  You've worked hard for it.  It's taken you your entire life to get here.

And there will be more good really great things heading your way.  You deserve them.  You are worthy of them.

Treat people right, reach out to them when you need to.  You've been there for them - they will be there for you.

On the not so perfect days, recognize and accept what you're feeling.

Treat your body right since it will be the only one you'll ever.

When you skip Bootcamp one day, go back the next, like you did today.

Remember how great you'll feel after, like you did today.


The cheesy smile says it all.

One last thing - the basics of weight loss STILL apply to you.  Never think you are above all that, mkay?  The basics are what have made you so successful.  Track, track, track!  Eat healthy, nutritious food.  Natural food.  And get all your water in, too.

YOUR WELCOME.

P.S.  My friend Martinus (thanks man!) took video of the first few minutes of my discussion with Dani at Fitbloggin!  Here's the link!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Being Present.

I took yesterday off from blogging.  I decided to just live, to be present.

I've been seeing that phrase online a lot, and I've heard it in yoga class as well.  For me, it means it's ok to step away from the laptop and just live life.

I hung out with the BFF, and we went to the local Pinkberry that recently opened up.  We both got fro-yo.  I had a small pomegranate froyo, she got the medium.

I broke Paleo and the world didn't end.  ;-)  Imagine that.

And, it was a great afternoon, chatting, hanging out, and catching up with my oldest friend in the world.  I wanted to take a picture of the two of us, but because we're both yappers, we forgot to ask someone and it just didn't happen.  Next time.

We hadn't seen each other in a few months, and upon seeing me, this is what she exclaimed:

"Kel, you're so ripped!"

Apparently, Bootcamp does a body good.  Mucho good.

I must work on not pooh-poohing a well-meaning compliment.  I told her thanks, then proceeded to lament on how my lower body has not caught up with my upper body.

(Cut it out, girl, just cut that nonsense out already... You know it won't change drastically without plastic surgery which you're still flip flopping on, so just stop.)

Cut to today.  Back to work, more being present, and trying to just not get overwhelmed by work responsibilities, which seem to have tripled lately.  It's ok, I can handle it, but it so easy - way too easy - to get caught up in the whirlwind of tight deadlines and files upon files being thrown at your desk.

Working out is a great stress relief, and a great way to blow off steam.   I don't always feel that way about Bootcamp, but it still is the truth.

HIIT cardio/push muscle day.  Ugh.  My shoulders and biceps will be feeling it tomorrow.


Wry grin and crazy cat lady hair.  Hehe.

The weather has decreased from oppressively hot to warm and humid.  Good thing too, as it's supposed to rain a lot this week.

Do you guys practice "being present?"  How do you this?


Saturday, July 6, 2013

WI Results & Some Random Musings.

Last week's weight:  146.2 lbs.
This week's weight:  145 lbs.

I lost 1.2 lbs this week.

That was a nice unexpected surprise.

I had another unexpected surprise when I sat down for my WW meeting.  Apparently, my leader retired last week while I was away at Fitbloggin.  Major bummer.  I was not expecting that at all!  A fill in took over the meeting, and our new leader will start next week.

This will be my third one since I started WW.  Carol passed away 2 years ago from breast cancer, and I still miss her.

I wore shorts to Bootcamp for the first time ever today.  It was just too hot for capris.



Random shouting over workout music by Bootcamp trainer in the middle of a boxing drill:

"Nobody works out like we do!"

I have a feeling he was referring to the CrossFit "Box" up the street.

I also got up earlier than usual this morning to hit the local farmer's market by my house before WI.  I picked up a few pints of fresh strawberries and a bunch of kale.  I'm sorry I didn't get any more kale.  It was already washed and everything - no sand in it.  I'm going to hit this market every Saturday as much as possible.  I'm really happy I discovered it.

I wilted some of the kale to have with my oven sweet potato fries and steak.  It was really good.  Who knew I would become a fan of kale?  Random.

Almost had heat stroke at the beach today.  No bueno.  I don't know how some people stay out there all day.  I was dying after an hour and a few dips in the water.

Final random thing:  I spotted a cave cricket in my living room and naturally freaked out.  Managed to kill the thing before it could jump (those things can jump very high) and evade my murderous hands.  This is just one of the many reasons why the Redneck would've been useful to have around in this situation.  Quite random.


Friday, July 5, 2013

Be Honest With Yourself.

Who had to work today, besides me?

Why the heck did I not take today off?  Good Lord, I was so busy that my head was literally spinning by 4 PM.  It didn't help that we had a skeleton crew in the office either.

Quite literally a day from Halifax.  No bueno.

The heat & humidity did not help.  An excessive heat advisory has been issued all throughout the weekend.  Granted, the AC was blasting in the office, but tell that to my hair.   I'm talking EPIC levels of frizz cat lady hair, people.

It was so busy that I went way too long in between eating AGAIN.  I was feeling nauseous and a little light headed before lunch, which was a porkchop on the bone with asparagus, garlic & broccoli.

I have recipe ideas swirling around in my head to attempt this weekend.  Such as sweet kale and sweet potato hash with scallions sauteed in olive oil.  The Korean market near me sells baby kale which I can't find anywhere else that would be perfect for this.  Cooked, chopped sweet potato with salt & pepper, throw in the baby kale after you've sauteed the scallions in olive oil, and cook everything together just long enough to allow the flavors to combine.  A little spritz of lemon juice would be perfect here, too.  Ditto red & green pepper strips.  Hmm...

I got the idea after watching Chopped on Food Network.  I'm thinking of making this with some Angus steaks for lunch tomorrow.  I'm kinda licking my chops in anticipation of this.

And I think I'll reintroduce bacon into my food intake again.  I'm not sure exactly why I ever stopped eating it, but I was reminded at Fitbloggin of how awesome it is with some scrambled eggs.  It'll be a weekend breakfast thing, when I have time to cook them just right in the skillet.  During the week, I just don't have time.  And microwavable bacon is just wrong on so many levels.

Chicken drumsticks, chicken breasts and salad ingredients are rounding out my grocery list.

I think Bootcamp trainer deliberately set the thermostat to make us all want to die.  It felt so hot in there.  Or maybe it was just me.  He put us through a mostly HIIT cardio circuit.  I was DRENCHED when it was all over, I kid you not.

Can you make out the huge sweat spot in the middle of my tank?  Sweet jeebuz, it just wasn't right, yo!

I love how toned my arms are, I just really wish my lower body would catch up already.  It's much better than it was 124 pounds ago, but there's always room for improvement.  Especially in my self-critiquing mind of mine.  But, and here's the important thing - every single day, I learn to love myself and my body more and more.

Every single day, I learn just how important the correlation is between treating your body correctly and how you feel about yourself.

When I was almost 300 pounds, I treated my body poorly.  I didn't like myself very much, and my body was proof of that.

NOW?  Now, I love it.  I love myself.  I feel great.  I feel confident.  I feel strong, like a warrior.  I never felt that way when I was morbidly obese.  How could I have said that I was happy, that I was ok with myself when I treated myself - and my body - so poorly?

Interesting how that works, right?  Yeah, I'm my own worst critic, finding flaws where others don't see them, and the like.  But I am in a MUCH better place now than I ever was at 270+ pounds.  No way around that one.  Self delusion wouldn't have helped me.  Proclaiming to be happy when all evidence was to the contrary would've just hindered me - not helped me.

You should like yourself.   You should love yourself.  A lot.  You should also like yourself enough to cut the BS and admit that something is going on.  You should like yourself so much that you're willing to be brutally honest with yourself and everyone you claim to care about.

It won't be easy, but it will be necessary.  And so freaking worth it.  We're all worthy and deserving of healthy bodies and healthy lives.

I was not in a healthy body nor was I living a healthy life at 270+ pounds.  No one could be.  I would've been lying to myself if I said I was.

Be honest with yourself, people.

Tomorrow is WI, and I'm feeling really good about it, really confident.

Downward and onward.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Changing with Weight Loss.

I have had this floating around in my head for a few days since Friday morning.  Mariana from Project Unfluff brought up a really great point during mine & Dani's discussion that I didn't get to properly and fully address because of time constraints and trying to give everyone an opportunity to speak up and tell their stories.

I'm summarizing here, but Mariana said that as she progressed in her weight loss, she absolutely did NOT want to change the person she is now.  Her physical appearance she wants to change, but she doesn't want that to affect who she is as a person.

And that's ok.  If she's good with how she is right now as a person, that's great.

Here's what I tried (and failed) to get across.

Now, I'll start by saying that I don't know how much Mariana has to go before she gets to her "After."  I don't know how much weight she will lose in total.

All I can say is this:  from my own experience, when a person undergoes a major physical transformation - such as tremendous weight loss -  it just follows that you're going to also change inwardly, mentally, and emotionally.

You can't help it.  You won't be able to help it.  And don't fight it, either.  Just allow it to happen naturally.

The way you think will change.  Your thought processes will change.  Your social circle will change.   Your hobbies will change.  Your social outings may change also.  And yes - your personality will change.

It will happen naturally, effortlessly.  And sometimes, you won't even notice it actually is happening.

And that's not a bad thing - it's just something that happens anytime you undergo a massive physical transformation.  It will happen, believe me.  If you lose 50, 75, or 100 pounds - you WILL change.  Not just on the outside, either.  You will evolve as a person.

I've lost old friends, I've made new friends.  I'm an extreme introvert that a year ago would NEVER have thought to approach Roni with the idea for this discussion.  A year ago, I NEVER would've asked Dani to do this with me.  Dani, a person whom I had maybe 2 or 3 minutes of personal interaction in my whole life before all this.  Dani is one of my new friends, and she's great.  Ditto my roommates, Brooke & Dacia.

I've lost eating buddies, and I've lost "friends" who were doing nothing for me except filling my life with their own negativity, lies, and toxicity.  I've lost "friends" who couldn't - or didn't want - to handle the changes I was making in my life in order to move forward not just with my weight loss, but also to grow as a person and get out of my shell.  When I look back on it now, my first instinct is to just shrug my shoulders and say, eh.

At this point, that's all I can say about it.  I can't begin to understand why people do and say the things they do and say.  I don't understand why people ("friends") I thought I knew, why "friends" I trusted, would lie straight faced to themselves, to me, and to other people.

For that matter, there are times when I don't understand why I do and say some of the things that I do and say.

As you start shedding the weight, start shedding that fat protective layer, you'll also start doing some shedding in your personal life as well.  Whether it's your closets, your garage, your desk or your personal life, you'll see yourself making changes you never would've thought to make before.

It just goes along with the territory.  And again, it's not a bad thing, and it's not something that should be fought against.  It will just happen naturally.

That was way more rambling than I intended.  Sorry!  Thank goodness for the holiday tomorrow.  Not sure what will be on the agenda just yet, but tomorrow will most definitely be an offline kinda day.  I'm hoping for good weather.

Hey Karen - I think I'll finish reading the rest of Refuse to Regain - I got halfway done with it on my flights.  Thanks again for recommending it to me.

Change is hard.  Change is good.  And sometimes, change is simply necessary.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

More Fitbloggin Pics!

I'm dropping some more Fitbloggin pics of some of my favorite Fitbloggin peeps ever.

Margo! @BrooklynFitChik

She's from Glen Cove originally & got the heck off this island.  She is just lovely.

Suzanne, @WorkoutNirvana!  Fellow Walking Dead fan, part of my fitfam on Twitter, and all around kick ass lady.  She is soo tiny and petite, but a powerhouse.  You guys think my arms are toned?!  Pshaw - they're nothing compared to hers.

Steve @SteveIsGettingFit, David @KeepItUpDavid & I on the Max from the airport to the hotel.

What a coincidence running into these two dudes.  Love.

The back of my active top that I wore for the fashion show.  Dani took a quick pic.

This was a major, major step out of my comfort zone for me.  I thought it was going to be a regular active tank or something.  When I put it on and saw how much of my back was exposed, I almost fainted.  I'm not even sure if I wore this correctly.  It looks a little twisted and uneven, to me.  And all I can focus on is my damn love handles.

And yet, despite my insecurities in this top, I kind of love it.  So I decided to wear it to Bootcamp tonight.  I actually went back to Bootcamp last night.  I was only 3 days removed from my last workout there, and this morning, I woke up completely sore all over.  Especially in my abs.  Homeboy trainer made us do 100 crunches last night at the end of our workout.

I have a feeling he is trying to kill us.  And loving it.  The man is insane.  He might even be partially sadistic.

Today was push muscle day.  I won't even get into it.  Just to say it was rough going.

He did  compliment the outfit, saying I looked amazing in it.  I have a feeling he sensed my insecurity in it.  I kept fidgeting with the back of it, pulling it up and constantly readjusting it.


And finally, I took a quick pic of this sign that's hanging inside Bootcamp, right above an X Trainer.  It should look familiar to you, Norma.


P.S.  The live blog from my discussion is up!  You can link to it here.

Monday, July 1, 2013

A Post in Fitbloggin Pics!

No me gusta reality.  I don't like that after an amazing weekend with mah people, I'm back home to reality.

Oh, there goes gravity, oh, there goes Rabbit...

Eh.  I digress.

So I leave you with some photos of some fantastic Fitbloggin peeps.


Erin, who came to my discussion with Dani, and said she's been reading my blog forever, lurked for a long time, and only finally got the courage to leave comments.  Erin - thank you for sharing.  I can only imagine what it took for you to say that - and I appreciated your sweet comments!

Amy @DaNcNgUrL02.  Her first Fitbloggin, the first of many more, I hope.  XOXO

Roni - the woman and brains behind it all.  I'm not sure why exactly I'm doing the whole "ass-out" hug here.


The outfit I wore at the fashion show.  Major step out of my comfort zone.  The top is somewhat backless, exposing the top of my still-there love handles.  And yeah, I'm totally flexing on purpose.

The one and only Carla, the original mizfit.  Check out this woman's abs!  The Friday morning of Fitbloggin, I was working out at the gym when she walked in.  We greeted each other, and I said, you're here to work out, huh?

Carla:  "Oh, I'm not here to work out or anything."  And after some small talk, a promise to take a pic later, and a declaration that she MUST get caffeine pronto, she promptly flounced out.

Only she would walk into the hotel gym to NOT work out.

I totally felt this woman up prior to the show.  Nice bra, mama! (Yes, I have the maturity level of a 12 year old sometimes.)

Dani and I after our discussion.  We were both so relieved that it went smoothly, that people showed up, and shared their stories!  Thanks so much for doing this with me, girl!

Susan! @FoodieMcBody

Sarah @BubblyHeart.  She's the lady who told me that "I'm already there."  Homegirl lost 200 pounds 9 years ago the good ole fashioned way and HAS KEPT IT OFF.  Nuff said.

Renee! @PinkyPie.  I was so happy to see one of my favorite ex-pats.  There was a time when she thought she wouldn't be able to make the long trip from the Netherlands to Portland.  Thank goodness for generous friends with a whole ton of frequent flyer miles!

I've got to properly formulate my thoughts on my discussion, and I promise I'll do that this week.  Lots of things running around in my head about it.

Side note - I'm not exactly certain why I'm clutching onto everyone for dear life in these pics.  Over-happy, much?  LOL.