Wednesday, April 30, 2014


Hey there!

So first, thanks for all the positive vibes sent my mother's way, they were much appreciated.  And apparently, they helped.  :-)

The cardiologist called her this morning, and he told her that no surgery was necessary at this time.  I need to call him back and ask him a few follow up questions, but I have a feeling my sister will do that and then let us all know the specifics.

I'm guessing that what the test showed was not anything serious that would mitigate (is that the right word?) an urgent procedure.

He did tell her to also lay off the salt (big surprise there) but as always, we will see if she actually follows through with that.  We've been telling her that for a while, but she is a stubborn one.   I'm really hoping she heeds the doctor's advice.  Sigh.


Guess who had a phone interview with Shape Magazine online last night?  ME!!!!

My weight loss story will be published on the website in May.  They didn't give me a specific date just yet, but will let me know when it does.

Talk about exciting!

When I first started blogging, I truly had NO idea any of the amazing opportunities that have come my way would actually come my way.  I truly expected no one to ever read my blog or be interested at all in my story.  I never thought anyone would look to me as an inspiration.  I never thought anyone would relate to me.  Especially because of how long it took me to get my weight off.  Most people want to hear that it took a year to lose 100 pounds, not the 6 years it took me.  But I'm digressing.

I'm so grateful for the wonderful opportunities my blog has thrown my way.  I'm so grateful for the amazing people I've met because of blogging and social media.  I can't tell you how lucky I am and have been to have met the wonderful people that have shared the same struggles as I have, honestly.

You never know who you'll touch if you don't share your voice.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Weekend Update.

Hey there!

Lots of different thoughts on that article, I see.  Thanks all for commenting.  I think it's pretty interesting to see how differently all of us in the weight loss community can view that article.

I never was a "large and in charge" kind of girl.  I was (and still am, in a way) way too introverted to carry on that kind of personality.  I'm engaging and friendly around my circle of friends, don't get me wrong, but I'm also quiet and shy when I don't know you.  Which can come off as standoffish and aloof.  :-/

Switching gears here.  I took Friday off from work because I have so many roll over days from last year.  If I don't use them by the end of June, I'll lose them, so now's the time to start taking them.  I had a doctor's appointment in the morning (my skin has been whacky lately, breaking out like a pubescent teenager), and then I headed out for a desperately needed haircut.

It doesn't look like much of a difference in length, I know, but I swear she took off a good inch-2 inches!  My hair is also pretty curly and wavy, too.  I have a feeling that it affects how long or short it looks.

It was also nice to have time to get my nails & toes done.  It's been a while since I treated myself to a mani/pedi.

Yesterday, my brother, SIL & the kids stopped by my folks' house, so I headed there and we all hung out.  It's crazy how quickly my niece & nephew are growing up.  I wish they would stay this little forever.

Happy Tia.

My side of the family has some strong genes.  My niece looks just like me, and I swear my nephew is the spitting image of my brother.  I freaking love these kids.  Heart outside chest.

Mom has been having lingering health issues for a few years now, with her knee replacement and A-fib.  Today my sister took her to the hospital to have a TEE (Trans Esophageal Echocardiogram) test where they are able to examine the heart in greater detail.  She has a leaky valve that will require surgery to repair.   Her follow up appointment with the cardiologist is in 2 weeks to determine the next course of action, as in whether it needs to be replaced or not.  Either way, surgery is a definite.

I'm trying not to freak out about it, because I know that will not help the situation, and it will not make her better.  I've read online that this kind of surgery is fairly common, and I'm hoping her recovery will not be as dramatic an issue was her knee replacements were last year.  That was just a disaster, and Lord knows we don't need a repeat of that.  Fingers crossed she has learned her lesson from that last year.  And fingers crossed that her recovery will go smoothly.

P.S.  I'm sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts to those affected by the tornadoes that hit Arkansas last night.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Post-Morbid Obesity Feelings.

The other day, I was tooling around on Facebook (I swear I WAS working, I swear!) when I noticed a friend of mine had posted this article to her timeline.

You can find the link to it here.

I read the article and it struck a nerve.  Nothing bad, nothing really negative, it just made me think.

Number 3 on that list is totally me.  Absolutely me.  (Dang scale and dang obsessing over every freaking pound as if it were the end of the world.)

While I was never over 300 pounds, I certainly was close.  And I certainly could've gotten myself there if I hadn't decided to take control of my health and my body when I did.

I also don't miss being morbidly obese.  Not at all.  But I can relate to a lot of what is mentioned in the article.  Women never saw me as a rival because I never was a rival to them.  I just tried to paint myself as one of the guys, or the funny fat chick.  Both labels and schticks worked for me.

Was there a certain "power" in being almost 300 pounds?  Not to me, no.  If anything, I felt the exact opposite.  I felt the weight was something I toiled with, physically and emotionally.  I felt burdened with it, and there's nothing about it I miss like the author says she misses about her former body.  I've learned to love and appreciate the body I have now, because I worked my ass for it.

The article left me pondering my own weight loss journey.  It also left me a bit puzzled.  I was never physically strong at my heaviest (I certainly couldn't lift a couch out of a U-Haul like she says in the article) but I think I know where she was coming from.

I think I miss the old comfort and protection being that overweight gave me.  I don't actually miss being that big.

Now you.  Have you read the article?  What are your thoughts?

P.S.  Please to forgive the nonsensical ramblings of this post.   This is the direct result of waking up at 4 AM wide awake and being unable to fall back asleep.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Scenes From the Weekend.

Happy belated Easter everyone!  Did you all have beautiful weather like we had here in NY?

My weekend started off pretty routinely.   WW meeting in the morning (with no meeting fan, alas.  She went to visit her brother in California and spend Easter there with him.)  Then I ran out of the meeting early to hit the 10 AM Saturday Sweat class at Bootcamp.

Side profile post workout.

Know what I've realized?  See how I'm covering my stomachs area with my arm?  It's a physical defense mechanism, I think.  I try to hide the loose skin that protrudes past the waistband of my workout capris.

Saturday night, I hung out with Rachel the RN and grabbed a late dinner with her.  She's just one of many great people I've met through Bootcamp.  Unfortunately, I didn't think to take a quick pic with her, more's the pity.  We split dinner, (an appetizer & a burger) and just gabbed & gabbed.

A perfect girl's night out.  :-)

Sunday I had Easter lunch at my folks.  It was a nice day, so I took the dogs outside and played catch with them for a while before meeting another friend from Bootcamp.

Brittany & I went for a walk at Bayside Marina, right by the water with the Manhattan skyline as our landscape.

Manhattan & the Throgs Neck Bridge.

We walked 3 miles on Sunday, and when I woke up this morning, I was feeling it in my glutes and quads.  Oye, wasn't expecting that!

All in all, a great weekend spent with family and really great people.

Jeanette has been talking lately how we should just really try to appreciate what we have now, instead of wishing for something that we want in the future.  I couldn't agree more.  Enjoy and appreciate what we have and what we have been given because it truly is a gift.

Take care!

P.S.  I may have another opportunity in the works, so stay tuned!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Office Shenanigans and Tomfoolery.

A few weeks ago, the Boss & Dufus Attorney went to Europe on a business trip.

I have to preface this with Dufus Attorney is the son of the founding partner of my firm, who is now retired.  Before he could retire, he had to bring in another attorney to run the firm because he could not leave it to DA.

Enter the Boss, who can overrule the two other senior partners should the need arise.  That has happened only a handful of times.

Anytime the Boss is away from the office for an extended period, he leaves the Protégé in charge.  The Protégé is a quiet attorney that works very closely with the Boss on a lot of cases.  A very quiet man, he's not really prone to getting angry over nothing.  Sometimes the Boss can be like that.  Eh.

Anywho. the day that they left. DA had his wife drive him into the office, since they were leaving from the office to get to the airport later.  He got out of the car with all his clothes bundled up in his arms.  I'm not kidding.  He wasn't packed or anything.  The suitcase was in his office.

It was the most disorganized I'd ever seen a person less than 6 hours before they were flying out.  The girls just looked at him & then each other, not quite believing what we were seeing.

Then he just dumped all his clothes in the suitcase and zipped it up.  No organization, no folding anything neatly.

Later from the airport, he called to say he had forgotten his tickets.   So the office manager emailed them to his phone to ensure he could get on the flight.

I have to say, I was kind of expecting another phone call, saying he had forgotten his passport.

That would have made for an EPIC story.

The best though was when his wife came in a few days later, asking if we could call him.  Apparently, she hadn't heard from her husband in days.

Strike two and counting?  They're set to go to Asia next month on another business trip.  Wonder if the Boss will feel like kicking him at that point.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I Am Not A Runner And The Mental Part of Maintaining.

But sometimes, I just act like one.  :-)

Me clowning around at work earlier Tuesday.  Contemplating said run.  And wasting time.  :-)  It's been a while since I've posted an obligatory selfie.

I've been wanting to shake up my fitness for a while now, and I've been toying with the idea of adding one running day a week as a way to crosstrain in between my Bootcamp days.

I hate running.  I really do.

There's nothing enjoyable I find about it.  Back when I lost weight in college (and then gained it all back) I literally ran my weight off.  And the whole time, I used running as a means to an end, nothing else.  I knew it was something I did not want to continue.

And it's only recently that I've begun thinking about incorporating it into my fitness regiment.  Only because my trainer thinks it'll help me get to the next level.  And by next level, I think he means shedding some extra inches.  And possibly allowing me to pull off those dang chin ups.

Because the weather has been nicer, I've been getting in some walking during lunch.  Tuesday was such a beautiful day that instead of going to Bootcamp, I decided to dangle my feet in the running pool and give it a whirl.

I huffed and puffed my way through a little more than 4 miles.  I thought I was going to die.  Or throw up.  Possibly both but definitely not in that order.

Here's a screen shot of my run from Runkeeper.

I ran a little more than 4 miles in 41:45.  Here's where running can come in handy for me.  While I don't particularly like it, I know it could potentially help me increase my endurance.  I'm not interested in running for speed as I know I'll never be a speedy runner.  But if I can increase my distance, and therefore my endurance, that might be something worth exploring.

Except I hate running.  So I'm not sure how to go about that.

(Sorry, Leigh - I tried to like it, just can't get into it!)

I've written before how I'm still finding my way around this whole maintenance thing.  My friend Brooke shared this link on Facebook today from Vogue about how maintaining a major weight loss is much harder than actually losing the weight.

You can find the link here.

I'm almost a year into maintenance, and almost 2 years holding off 100 pounds, and I've got to tell ya, I find it hard at times.

I know the basics.  Eat REAL FOOD.  Move your body.  Sleep.  Repeat.

The formula is not always quite so simple.  Especially when real life is factored in.  It is so much more mental than physical.  It truly has been for me.

There are moments when I can't get out of my own head.  There are moments where I take insignificant things and make them more significant than they deserve.  There are moments where I regret not having done or said something.  There are moments where I regret having said or done something.

And sometimes, when I feel that self-inflicted pressure mounting, my first impulse is to run into the kitchen and start scavenging.  Old habits die hard.  And slow.  But today and this whole week, I've been focusing on those new habits that go along with being at your goal weight.

Now you - have you read the article?

Do you believe maintaining your weight loss is more difficult than losing?

Monday, April 7, 2014

WI Results & Some Pics From the Weekend.

UYThis week just flew by, even with the dang unexpected snow we got on Monday. (Hello, spring!)  The weather did finally turn around midweek, allowing me to get some walking in at lunch.  They were much needed, and a big stress reliever.

Thursday, Rachel & I showed up at Bootcamp wearing similar workout gear.  We had to take a picture or else it didn't happen.  Right?  Hehe.

We matched down to the shoes!  No, we didn't plan it, it just happened.  Besides, pink is one of my favorite colors, so I have a lot of tanks & tops in that color.

I look at this picture, and my slight weight gain is so obvious to me.  Ooh, it haunts me, it does.  And I am trying to let it go while simultaneously putting the focus on losing those pounds again.

Am I being hard on myself?  I am my own worst critic.  But I do have some good news to report.

I was down a pound at WI this week.

8 pounds up from my lowest, but the silver lining is that I can get my butt in gear before the situation completely spiraled out of control.  Because that is just unacceptable to me.  Not after everything I've been through to get here.

It's that turning around and reigning it in that is so super important in this journey.  The few maintainers that I speak to always tell me they have gone through similar phases as well, but they always knock it off in time.  And normal weight fluctuation happens to the best of them, especially considering factors like muscle building, water retention, and if you're on certain meds that can spike your weight.

Remember that video of me attempting the elusive chin up?  The one where I dropped like a sack of potatoes because I was too exhausted concentrating on the "positive" to hold it?  Two of my Bootcamp buddies, Monica & Lori, approached me after Saturday's workout and cajoled me into attempting them again.  Yeah, I succumbed to the "peer pressure."  Monica was especially encouraging, telling me that I'm so so close, just try it one more time, Kel!

This was post Saturday Sweat workout, I was exhausted & completely wiped out, but as I walked over to the bar, they were both so encouraging and sweet.

And wouldn't you know it, I held my chin above the bar for a full 3 seconds before my upper body just gave.  It takes work to perform that move, I know it does.  I also know I'll get there sooner rather than later.  :-)

The weekend was beautiful.  Rather windy, but sunshine & clear skies for the most part.  I took advantage of the nice weather to hang with Lori at her parents' spa on Saturday.  She relaxed in the hot tub and we just talked & hung out.  It was nice.  Lori called me while I was already out and on the road, otherwise I would've joined her in the hot tub.  Next time.

Later I went for a walk to take advantage of the nice weather.  And I ran into my old friend Mia!

It's a shame that her gorgeous blue eyes didn't photograph well here, because they're so captivating.  Just look at this gorgeous creature!  And she's super friendly too.  I would've liked to have absconded with her, but unfortunately, her puppy dad is quite attached to her. I don't think he would've appreciated my puppy napping her.  :-)

Sunday was meal prep and cleaning the house day. I can't stress enough how important it is to plan your meals ahead of time.  I know it's not always doable for everyone, but try to get into the habit as much as possible.  I have roast chicken, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, and a zucchini casserole.  The zucchini casserole is Mom's recipe, and it's delicious!

A few of my Bootcamp buddies are running the Hance Family Foundation 5K on May 17 here on Long Island.  If you're local (the race will be in Floral Park), and you'd like to run/walk it with us, here's the link to register.  The Hance family lost their three daughters in that terrible car accident on the Taconic Parkway in 2009.  If you don't know the story, you can google for the details.  It was a pretty big story around here for a while.

Wanna do the 5K with me?  Let  me know!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

WI Results & Fitness Goals.

Hey hey hey!

I meant to write a short post over the weekend, but I never got around to it.

Ok, so let's get the WI out of the way.

This is the max I want to be at, which is 5 pounds over my old, highest "allowed" weight with Weight Watchers.  (Thanks, doctor's note!)  I am working my way back down into the 140s.  Thankfully, I'm not too far away from  that  right now.  I'm not worried about that though.  I know I'll get back there.

I'm really, really loving Bootcamp and the friends I've made there.  I can't believe I'm saying that, because I can remember how much I hated it when I started!  But I could recognize that Bootcamp was giving me the results that Bikram and working out at home weren't.

And then, I started making friends there.  I've met some really great people, and even though our trainers work us out like beasts, we love it.  And the making new friends bit is just an added bonus.

From left to right, me, the Bootcamp BFF, and my friend Brittany.  This was us being silly after an exceptionally brutal upper body workout.  We just felt like flexing.  :-)

I've been working towards doing an unassisted chin up, or pull up (whichever.)  I thought I had enough in the tank to get at least one, but I was wrong.


My trainer Salim tried to help.  But I had run out of gas after that workout on Monday.  I just couldn't do it.  Sad puppy.

My friend John has been telling me to focus on the "negative."  Just try to hold my chin above that bar, even if it's for a nanosecond.   And I have to keep practicing.  Every single day.  (Thanks for the encouragement, John!)

I was surprised I wasn't all that upset about it.   Normally I would've wallowed in the disappointment for a while, but I didn't this time.   It was more like I just have to keep pecking away and eventually I know I'll do it.

So it looks like I have another fitness goal.   Time to get it.