Thursday, January 29, 2015

Brutally Honest Reasons why You're Still OverFat.

A few friends shared this article on Facebook, and it is definitely worth the read.  Just to warn you however, Coach Taylor uses a lot of profanity, so if you're not into all the cursing, it may not be for you.  Here's what stood out for me.

Treats:  It used to be that we would go to a wedding or two a year, and have some wedding cake.  Your birthday and family member's birthdays would be another cake event.  Or maybe you do a family gathering at a restaurant and you eat something you normally wouldn't eat.  But times have changed to these treats being way more accessible and us eating them way too often.  Donuts, cookies, chips in the office have become the mainstream now.

Bad Attitude:  Yup, super guilty of this. I forget how lucky I am often, and Lord knows I piss and moan way more than I should.  What the heck am I complaining about anyway?  Why do I think I have it so damn hard?  I don't.  I DON'T.  I have a roof  over my head, a steady income, access to healthy food, family, a healthy body, and a close circle of friends.  It's no one else's fault I got to almost 300 pounds - I did a splendid job of doing that all by myself.  I need to shut up and just be thankful for everything I have.  And Coach Taylor is spot on - attitude will determine success.

Coach Taylor said a lot of things that people just don't want to hear.  Everything is a choice, and we all have the opportunity to make the best choices for us, no matter how hard or how crappy a life situation is.  Last winter, I did an excellent job of making some awful food choices, and I'm still paying for it now.  I could make a conscious choice and effort to course correct or bury my head in the sand.  My bad decisions led to being unsuccessful at maintaining my goal weight.   No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I'm guilty of thinking I knew what I was doing and thinking I was special.  No I did not, no I am not.  Excuses started creeping back in, and even though I knew I was in trouble, I just kept up with the bad behaviors.   And then when the weight started coming back, I wanted rapid results.  It does not work that way.  It never will.  You have to put in the effort and get rid of the shite attitude and way of thinking.

This won't work for me because............

I can't do that because.................

I was away on vacation so I ate........................

I can't work out or exercise because..............

If you want to stay at a healthy weight, you need to have a healthy lifestyle.  For life.  That's just how it is.  You have to choose to make the sacrifice.  We all have to do that.  We all have to deal with it.  You can't be perfect - no one is, but you can always choose better and healthier.

And yes, I'm feeling this every single day.  It's a choice, no one holds a gun to your head - in the end, we all are responsible for ourselves.

If you read the article, let me know what you think.

Have a great one!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Storm Check In.

Juno was not as bad here as the forecast let us to believe.  Around the eastern end of Long Island, they got as much as 2 feet.  Here, it was less than a foot, which is still wasn't wonderful, but I'm grateful it wasn't worse.

This is what it looked like right out my front door.

Cleaning my car off wasn't fun, but the sun came out and I was able to enjoy the Vitamin D that was lacking yesterday.

Thanks to the maintenance who plowed my parking spot, which meant I didn't have to shovel too much!

I also made sure to get a workout in today.  Upper body and some core work for me.

The core swivels led by Tamela and Dale were tough!  I'm feeling my obliques already, which is a huge sign that I don't work my core enough or as hard as I should.  Ugh.

Other than that, nothing major to report.  Back to work for me tomorrow, and back to the grind.

Be safe out there if the storm wasn't kind to you!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Day in Photos.

Last night, I met some of my Bootcamp friends at a local Mexican place by my house.  I hadn't seen them in a while, so I couldn't wait to go.

With Rachel K, the RN.

Stef, I've known her through Bootcamp for a while, this was the first time we actually talked and said more than hello to each other!

It was a nice evening, we all enjoyed a bit more guacamole and chips than necessary!

We had snow during the night, and it looked a bit treacherous early in the morning.  I waited until the snow switched to rain to clean off my car.  I did want to go to my WI, but since I had plans later in the city, I wasn't going to stay for the meeting.  I'm a big proponent of facing the scale when you've had a less than ideal week, so I was determined to go.

And here was the result.

I lost 0.6.  Not bad, considering it wasn't a great week.  I'll take it.

Then it was off to the city to meet my friend Ginger and head to the MoMa for the Matisse exhibit.

These are our "we're freezing on the subway" faces!

The exhibit started at 3, and it was spectacular.  Icarus remains my favorite Matisse work.

It was a great day, weather excluded.

Turning in for the night now.  Have a great rest of the evening!

Friday, January 23, 2015

Weekend Plans.

We're getting some kind of storm this weekend it seems.  I keep reading conflicting reports between us getting 3-6 inches of snow, or a mixture of rain/sleet/snow.  We'll see.  I won't be driving in it much except for my WI tomorrow morning, so I'm not worried about it.

Tonight, I'm meeting some old Bootcamp friends at a local restaurant.  I can't wait to see them, I miss them and they're a great group of people! I'm going to the gym right after work, then coming home to shower, change & grab a quick dinner.  I've already tracked my dinner, which will be the usual chicken or turkey burger (I'm thinking turkey burger tonight) over some greens and olive oil.  Lots and lots of water. 

I'm not a drinker at all, so I figure I'll make a seltzer with lemon last me all night at the restaurant.  I have no problem with that.  No mindless snacking tonight as I have my WI tomorrow.  The mindless snacking was done earlier in the week with some Cheez Itz (jerk move, I know) so it'll be interesting to see how it'll go tomorrow morning. Not worried, just curious.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm meeting up with another old high school friend in the city to catch the Matisse exhibit at the MoMa!  I'm excited to see her and the exhibit.  A few months ago, I tweeted about it, and since we follow each other on there, she reached out and said her company gave her tickets to the show.  I can't wait, it's supposed to be great.

We'll be playing the rest of the day tomorrow by ear.  We both don't want to stay out too late since we're uncertain how the train commute back home will be due to the weather.

Anywho, that's what's going on this weekend, I'll be back tomorrow with an update.

Enjoy your weekend, folks!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

WI & Weekend.

Hello everyone!  Did you all have a nice weekend?  I did, it started out positively, thank goodness.  Saturday morning, as usual, I attended my WW meeting, and I weighed in.  Here are the results.

I lost 2 pounds this week.  I haven't lost 2 pounds in a week in a very long time.  I also haven't been at this weight in several months, so I'm happy with this right now.  It was a good week, not just scale wise (although of course that helps!) but I maintained my focus and zeroed in on small changes.  Like no more dark chocolate after dinner.  I also stopped buying the portioned out cashews from Trader Joe's, the ones that are 50% less salt/sodium.  I haven't had those in about 2 weeks, which just proves I was having way too much of them.  So I'm going to continue the no cashews thing for a bit.  No need to overcomplicate things, right?

Last night, I had dinner with my old high school friend, Celeste.  I met her husband Vince and their adorable 3 year old little girl, Samantha.

She made a delicious cream of mushroom and herb soup.  It wasn't super heavy, as she prepared with chicken stop, a variety of different mushrooms, fresh herbs like garlic, onion, saffron, thyme, oregano, and hot pepper flakes.  She served it in small coffee cups, which was the perfect size and a great idea.  I never would've thought of serving soup in a small coffee cup/mug.  I'll doing that from now on with my own soups!

I brought over cupcakes from a local bakery, and I indulged in a peanut butter & jelly one.  I was chugging water like a champ the whole night, and running around after Samantha, and it was just a nice evening chatting and catching up with an old friend.  :-)

Food prep was pretty easy today - I made roasted ground lamb and I flavored it with a fresh mint-sage-walnut pesto sauce I prepared in my food processor.  I threw in fresh mint and fresh sage, olive oil, pitted black olives, walnuts, salt, pepper, and about 5 cloves of garlic.  Mixed everything together in a bowl and shaped it in 2 "loaves." I roasted this in the oven at 350 degrees for about 25-30 minutes.

It's wonderful, packed full of great flavor.  The sage gives it a nice, earthy taste.  I'm pairing this with cauliflower and broccoli.  I froze a bit of it as well for future use.  I also made some dark chicken and brussels sprouts for the week - sorry no pic!

Ok, I am off to finish up the rest of my laundry and complete a second set of PT stretches and exercises.

Have a great rest of your Sunday.  :-)

Friday, January 16, 2015

Drive By.

Hey!  Thank you all for reaching out. I swear I am ok, getting better.

I wanted to touch on it because it's a part of what I'm going through right now, and I didn't want to hide from it or not discuss it.  The loss of a relationship is always tough. I've done enough hiding over the last several months, I'm done with that.  Hiding is what got me into trouble in the first place.

I also just realized that I made it seem like someone died (real smart there, K.)  I'm sorry about that, I really am.  I swear that was not my intention.

Anyway, I'm sucking it up, dealing with the emotions, and just rolling with the punches.  I am a believer in fighting to maintain your positivity, and that happiness is something you choose ahead of time.  So everyday, I tell myself that something good will happen.  Because if I don't believe that for myself, no one else will.  Does that make sense?

I am going into the weekend looking forward to my WW meeting knowing that it was a good food week, knowing that I maintained my focus and my consistency, and excited to meet up with an old high school friend I haven't seen in forever!

I'll be back later this weekend.

Happy Friday, friends!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


I spent the weekend doing the usual stuff: (food prep, working out, cleaning, etc.) but I also spent the majority of it in a sad place.

I was looking over old pictures of he and I (like an idiot, I know) and the grief just washed over me.  I had some ugly cries Sunday and Monday, and it was just.....bad.  Oh Lord, it was bad.  I felt like a black hole had opened at my feet and I was just falling.  I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm not going to hide how it felt for me.

I'm somewhat better today, not 100%, but I'll get there.  It just overwhelmed me, it surprised me, and it came out of no where.

I know I need time, I know I need to heal from this on my own and in my own time.

I'm still hurt, still extremely sad it didn't work out, but it's life, and right now it's a part of my life that I need to go through, experience, learn from, and move forward.  Eventually.

Sorry for the depressing words, but it's cathartic to write about.  I needed to let it out.  And honestly, I feel better already.  I promise!

Thanks for listening.  :-)

I don't know how else to end this one so I'll just say good night.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

WI Results.

So without further ado, here's my WI from this morning:

I lost 0.2 this week.

It is slooooow going right now.  I'm trying not to be frustrated about it, and I'm looking at it practically.  Trying to, anyway.  I took this week off from working out after Sunday.  I concentrated on tracking my food and my PT stretches/exercises.

The positives are the scale is moving in the right direction.  At a snail's pace, but in the right direction.  That, I am happy about.  I'm going to take that into the upcoming week.  The rest will come off, I'm positive about that.  The inches will also.  I'm positive about that as well.

My last PT session was Thursday, and I have officially "graduated."  My physical therapist is great, and  he recommended zero legwork and zero cardio for at least 2 weeks.  Read:  more like the rest of January.  Upper body and core work will be my main priorities.  I am going to continue PT on my own by performing the routine every day, 3 times a day.  Icing the knee right after, taking Ibuprofen and rest are in my future.

He also recommended easing into either Pilates or yoga.  So I'm currently thinking of either returning to hot yoga or looking for a local Pilates studio.  Groupon has some great deals, so I'm currently scouring the site to see what's available for the beginning of February.  I'd like to try either Pilates or look into a Barre studio.  There are a few Barre studios in my area, and I'm curious about it.  Any of you ever try it?  Let me know your thoughts!

Signing off for now.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

MidWeek Check In & Calculator.

First, thank you all for the comments, tweets, messages, etc on my last post!  I really appreciated all the sweet comments, I truly did. Thank you again.  :-)

I was thinking today that perhaps I should be grateful that it's only 10 pounds I gained back?  Even though I'm not thrilled at all about it, I suppose I should be grateful (I don't even know if that's the word I'm looking for) that I stopped myself before it was more.

This week is completes my fourth and final week of physical therapy and my last appointment is tomorrow.  The knee was feeling great, then dumb me decided to try to perform some weighted squats and I'm paying for it now.  Lesson learned, I won't be doing that again for a while.

Today, it feels better, so I'm going to focus and concentrate on that.  It'll continue to feel better with prolonged rest and icing and compression.  Getting the rest of the weight off will help with the discomfort, too.  At this point, I think I'd be happy getting 5 pounds off.    Every little bit helps.  I'm trying real hard not to feel bad about it, but I'm not always successful at it.  Been feeling kind of meh about it.

A year ago, a good friend told me to calculate my BMR and my TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure), and I never did it because I don't count calories.  I still track WW points.  Yesterday, on a whim, I decided just to see what it would say for me.  Thanks, J!  Here's what I got:

At this point, I know I can't eat my calories/points back because clearly I've gained some poundage back.  Duh.  Even if I hadn't, it still wouldn't be a great idea since my metabolism isn't the same as someone who's never been morbidly obese.

If you want to input your own information, here's the link for Eat to Perform, the website I used.

Just a quick check in to let you all know how I'm doing as I try to keep my chin up.

Til next time!

Sunday, January 4, 2015


Happy 2015!  Hope you spent it better than I spent mine.

I had plans to go to my friend's house, then her husband's restaurant, but unfortunately, I got sick NYE.  Nothing awful, just indigestion/upset stomach issues.  I was disappointed, as I was looking forward to hanging with my friends.  Boo.  Such is life, though.  I'm better now.

So yesterday I WI'ed in, and here are the results.

Yep, 156.6.  I'm 10 pounds from where I want to be, about 7-8 pounds from clothes fitting again, and about 4 pounds away from my what I call my "WTF weight."

It happened.  Gaining weight doesn't make me a bad person, it makes me human.  I don't love it at all, and I don't love where I'm at, but I CAN change it.  Starting now.

I debated bringing back the weekly WI posts, I debated it for a long time, but in the end, I'm going back to what worked for me before.

I'm not going to run and hide.  I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen, I'm not going to say I have my crap together.  I don't.  I'll do what I've always done:  face it, be honest, and deal with it.

Pretending things are totally ok will not help me.  It will not get the weight off again.  It will not extinguish the last 7-8 months that were an emotional roller coaster that led to the gain.

I am done.  DONE.

I need the accountability, and it will help me stay on top of things.

Here's what's been going on.  I ended a relationship that meant everything to me.  It broke my heart, I'm still dealing with it,  but again, it's life.  It happens.

I got injured.  I'm still dealing with the knee.  Although I'm happy to report the swelling has reduced a lot, and my range of motion is a bit better, thanks to PT.

Mom and Dad aren't getting any better.

These are not excuses, they are the reasons.  However, people end relationships all the time.  It's part of life.  People get injured all the time.  It's part of life.

People have family medical emergencies all the time.  It's part of life.

Reverting to old behaviors and resting on my laurels (I fully admit I let the success go straight to my head, which in turn went straight to my butt) will not and has not helped me.

I've promised to  always be real and honest on here, and that's what's been going on.  I don't have all the answers.  I never will.

All I can do is what is best for me right now.  Following a mostly Paleo/Primal food plan will help me and has helped me in the past.  Eating real, whole food will not only get the weight off, but will improve my health and get the knee better.

Dear K:  you're 10 pounds from goal, not 110 pounds.  You have this.  Now, repeat.